The 2020 First Amendment Cup – Round 16

 

Greetings Tipsters

 

 

Watching telly is a broad space operation these days. Slumped on the couch, tablet in hand, I can get almost anything I want – a 1943 training film for dive-bomber pilots, f’rinstance. The volume and variety available on utoob is astounding. And troubling, because utb dominates the market.

 

The censorship on utb is not unlike that of 1970s network television. Thus far, I haven’t seen a movie that has been bleeped and pixillated but most everything else is. Example, ‘fuck’ was bleeped in a piece discussing lesbian sexuality. Who the hell is gonna object to that? Doesn’t matter, you will be demonetised (I despise that word) and disappear from search functions. I looked up ‘nudism’ and watched a few. Yep, pixillated. Especially that grave threat to public order, women’s nipples.

 

Farcebuck does this too. I know people who’ve been suspended for the heinous crime of posting nudes. Nothing from Hustler, mind you, more like black and white artistic shots. Periodically, I post a stack of paintings of nudes, because paint is okay but cameras are evil. No, I don’t get that either.

 

Yes, I know that these are private companies and they get to run by their own rules but does this New Puritanism get us anywhere? What positive effects does treating the human body as something shameful and naughty have for society?

 

Or for reporting? I’ve lately noticed that paragon of investigative reporting, news dotcom dot eh you, has asterisked shit, bloody, dickhead and pussy, all quotes, the last in reference to felis catus. That’s right, Tom Jones will be getting less airplay and calling someone a bloody dickhead, about as inoffensive a slang phrase as you’ll ever hear and something of a local linguistic icon, is language unfit for a newspage that writes its articles at a third grade reading level.

 

My dear 83 year old Mum doesn’t swear, doesn’t like hearing it used to excess, unless Billy Connolly is doing it, but can cope with it and knows she can always turn the page or change the channel. Heck, even I can get away with swearing in her presence occasionally.

 

This has been creeping up on us for awhile. Several years ago I noticed Simpsons episodes being edited, especially the Itchy and Scratchy toons. These are episodes I’d seen several times, that had been fit for public consumption for fifteen years. Until, mysteriously, they weren’t.

 

Now, it’d be all too easy to draw an inference of ‘erasing history’ from censoring cartoons and link it to vandalising a memorial to the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry Regiment, so I won’t. But I wonder what student radicals of 50 years ago might think of this (those that I’ve asked are disgusted.) Swearing and skinnydipping was part of their program. They were better dressed, better looking, listened to better music. As Trans-Dementia Inc Adelaide agent Russ put it “They had verve and style. They also had Hoffman, Leary, Ginsberg, Davis, Dylan, et al.”

 

Free speech is like being alive. No matter how sick and bothered you may be, you either is or you aint. You either have free speech in all its beautiful and ugly glory or you don’t have it at all.

 

Bombers displayed a good bit of joie de guerre, handily accounting for a Hawks team that looked a little slow and clueless. Essendon 15.12.102, Hawthorn 11.8.74.

 

You’d have to give at least one of the four points to the crowd at Kardinia Park. Eagles looked the sharper team while the homeboys were spraying kicks like bloody dickheads. Five good minutes in the third kept the Pussies in touch, the last ten minutes gifted them a win they didn’t really deserve. Geelong 13.14.92, West Coast 13.9.87.

 

Win the ball, get it into space, run, kick, mark, goal. Sounds easy, eh? The Lions have got this together in grand fashion. Brisbane 14.11.95, Collingwood 11.11.77.

 

24 years back, one of the mooted nicknames for Port was Sharks. Better than Power, eh? So I’m gonna stick with it. Sharks are hunter-killers, but so are Tigers. Richmond 15.15.105, Port Adelaide 12.11.83.

 

Franklin has lost it. Fifteen years ago he might have seen out his career in the goalsquare, like O’Loughlin did. But there’s no room now for the player who little to offer but sublime skills. Allasame, a high-quality match. Sydney 16.16.112, Footscray 13.14.92.

 

Crows scared Saints at Adelaide Oval, fought their way into the match after a bad first term to lead at half and three-quarter time. Then the collective mind (how the hell do people get away with charging vast amounts of money for that crap?) took a holiday, 4.2 to 1.4 in the last. St Kilda 13.8.86, Adelaide 11.13.79.

 

The Schoolies’ fortress is taking on a dark, forbidding air. Abandon all hope, etc. The Blues were pretty sprightly for much of the game but lack the across the park vim and vigour of those kids in red and gold. Gold Coast 16.18.114, Carlton 10.16.76.

 

Shinboners were all over Monaros for most of the match. Better kicking, Brown nailed 2.6, and it would’ve verged ona thrashing. North Melbourne 14.17.101, GWS 12.8.80.

 

Fans of the Funky Purps enjoyed another day out in the spacious confines of Perth Stadium. They may yet develop a decent forward line. The Fuschias are most unlikely to do so this year. Fremantle 13.9.87, Melbourne 9.13.67.

 

And there you have it, dear reader. A dry spell across the vastness of this island continent helped, this weekend was a grand display of fast, open, goalkicking football.

 

Cheers Tipsters

 

P&C, A Stop Privatisation Of Footy Production, a division of Trans-Dementia Inc.
Brought to you with the assistance of Lenny Bruce, Billy Connolly and The Fugs.

 

Ladder

GW 1382 1144 120.80 46
Ri 1390 1208 115.07 46
Co 1339 1138 117.66 40
WC 1366 1196 114.21 40
Br 1377 1187 116.01 36
Ge 1311 1197 109.52 36
SK 1254 1196 104.85 36
NM 1192 1168 102.05 36
Fo 1180 1223 96.48 32
Sy 1261 1217 103.62 28
Me 1210 1211 99.92 28
PA 1218 1233 98.78 24
GC 1182 1308 90.37 24
Fr 1093 1223 89.37 20
Ha 1084 1349 80.36 20
Ca 1167 1341 87.02 16
Ad 1106 1321 83.72 16
Es 1008 1301 77.48 12

 

 

 

 

 

Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

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About Earl O'Neill

Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.

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