Standing on the outside lookin’ in

Things have been hectic in the H of S with the tennis rapidly approaching the pointy end of the tournament. Predictably, most of the top ranked players are still in the draw. Perhaps unpredictably, some would argue to the contrary, “our Sam” is not amongst them. This makes Ms Stosur the first seed in women’s tennis to go out in the 1st round of a major. I’m sure there have been others but a 32 leg multi featuring the higher seeded player in nearly a lay down at most grand slam events. Sadly, Jelena will forever be referred to as a ”former Serbian tennis player” as it seems unlikely we will ever see the potential that cruelly extinguished by her old man.

You know when you’ve been allowed into the hearts of Australian sports supporters when you get a nickname. Bernard Tomic is now “Bernie”. Yep, just like your local butcher, Bernie is one of ours and God bless the wonders of immigration that brought the Tomic family to our shores. Perhaps some of our other less than loved “arrivals’ might wish to pack a Slazenger with them and come out swishing backhands upon landing at Christmas Island. Bernard has been terrific and at the time of writing, the youngster has beaten another top seed, referred to as Dogpoo by the less multilingual members of the Robb household, to catapult him into the round or 16.

Bruce and the boys were having conniptions last night and there was not flattering adjective left in the dictionary. And fair enough too as this kid is a ripper and has played with a maturity not seen since “Muscles” donned the Dunlop Volleys. And never seen in Leyton Hewitt, who still remains in the event after Andy Roddick pulled a hammie going for a grab over a ball boy the other night. In other news, apparently Craig Gabriel took Serena out for dinner the other night and gifted her some lovely earrings. This bloke is a complete nob.

The lifeblood of Melbourne still continues to bubble away behind the action. It seems that is not a great time to be living in Melbourne with young footballers setting joints alight and collective groups of footballers training down houses. It must look like Christchurch down there. The annual Festival of the Captain is soon to commence as the media and fans alike await news on who has been appointed the lead their respective clubs the promised land. (On a personal front, I was pleased that the messiah’s recovery from shoulder surgery is ahead of schedule. Well, if you can believe Orthopedic Surgeon, and sometimes full back, Michael Jamison). The impending naming of leadership groups also has members clambering for any snippets thrown to them by the media. Strangely, there has been little talk of Chad Cornes and Dean Brogan leading the GWS Gnats towards any land what so ever. Promised or otherwise.

(A Question to the forum. Where does Brian Taylor go in summer? How can a man with a bigger media profile than the Taliban disappear off the radar? Is it a ploy to protect the innocent for the relentless onslaught that awaits us this footy season?)

Kangaroo fans, sorry North Melbourne supporters, would have taken great joy
this week by Eugene Arocca’s assurance that the Kangas, sorry Shinboners, had ditched there marsupial moniker and gone back to its’ roots as an inner suburban football club. Perhaps they may have been less heartened that the inner suburb will also include Ballarat and Hobart. I might dust off the old Manuka kangaroos cap just in case the mercenaries decide to return up the Hume one day.

What would Mike have written?
“I was down at the Lexus Centre and gee, the Pies look up for it. I think Bucks has what it takes to deliver the Collingwood Football Club the flag it was cruelly robbed of last October”

Tip of the week
When your son starts hitting it past you off the tee, it is an ideal time to reacquaint him with the subtle nuances of the hickory shaft and insist that the Rev. Dr. Robert Adams Paterson’s gutta-percha golf ball should not be lost to the sport of golf.

Tony’s Weekly Dump
Gus wrote in last week suggesting that I should look into the influence of seagulls in the sport of fishing. So, on an angling theme, I’d like to take aim at the myriad of fishing shows that fill the gaps on pay TV. (other than Hook, Line and Sinker which is a ripper because the hosts are funny blokes who are shit at fishing. I Fish goes okay except for the host’s propensity to say “wrong town” which usually refers to a fish being caught with a piece of string and paper clip) No, I refer to the ET’s Fishing Adventure type shows that continually bang on about fishing in the top end of Australia. I’m sure that most people who fish have not, nor will ever, fish up north so stopped rubbing our blooding noses in it Andrew. And stop making those stupid “woohoo” yelps when you catch a “queenie”. It’s a fish, not the cure for cancer. We fisherplebs catch flathead and bream but mainly puffer fish. Not Barramundi and “GTs” And how about teaching us how to tie a knot so our gear doesn’t go flying over the horizon on the first cast. Is that too hard for a fishing show?

See ya’ next week

About Tony Robb

A life long Blues supporter of 49 years who has seen some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't Mick Malthouse driving a train.


  1. John Butler says

    TR, Mr Taylor was given a go at cricket commentating on Foxtel last summer.

    It can’t have gone so well. They didn’t ask him back.

    Never fear, you’ll get to hear plenty from him during the winter. For your sins.

    Does Rex still do a fishing show?

  2. JB
    Rex does a fishing show on SEN on Saturday mornings
    called, I think, “Off the Hook” !!!

  3. How are they biting in Lake B G at the moment Tony?

  4. Phantom, the fishing has been slower than usual particurlary after the southerly that blow thoughtwo weeks ago. Not a marlin in in month but Im sure the return of the Parliamnet will bring out the Piranah

  5. Tony-the fish are biting in Cambodia – on the feet of tourists who can have a fish foot massage for $2-Quite relaxing.

  6. Or the Toad Fish Tony.

  7. Alovesupreme says

    I can offer a speculative answer (no insider knowledge, I stress) to your question about BT. I recall an early episode of “On the Couch” in the original incarnation of Fox Footy Channel when Mike Sheahan and Gerard Healy (?) in the studio were conducting an interview with BT on location at his farm somewhere on the Melbourne metro fringe. As he was originally a boy from the sticks, Mandurah, I would expect he is probably hands on on the farm, so my guess is that he’s harvesting or some such.

    I don’t know much about football – though with Albert Camus “All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football” – but I know considerably less about fishing.

Leave a Comment