Standin’ on the Outside Lookin’ in

Sorry for the lateness of my missive but a combo of bathroom demolition and junior golf pennants has taken much of the weekend and drained my spirit despite a gripping 3.5/2.5 victory by the Belco kids over the visitors from Goulburn. For the uninitiated junior pennants is a match play format like the President’s Cop.  Only with pimples and less tantrums.


The completion of the Barnum and Bailey tennis open has left the H of S much quieter. This was mainly due to Workcover Victoria’s decision to close the women’s’ final due to noise violations and everyone being very tried from staying up late on a school night watching the men run around for 6 hours in the vain hope that one of them might venture to the net, other than to shake hands.  “80,000 to 90,000” should have turned up at the G to watch the tip and run thingy. 63,000 actually did turn up which is still a big endorsement for Ritalin.

The Demons have opted for co-captains in the form of the two Jacks, Grimes and Trengrove. The choice has baffled some but Trengrove is a super young player in the mould of former greats such has Flower and Barrasi. Importantly, he is not of the mould of former players called Feebey or Viney.  I can’t wait for the Ds faithful to burst in song as the youngsters break the banner. Why not adopt the 1975 classic AC/DC anthem to social disease, “The Jack”. With apologies to the late Bonn Scott, some minor changes could allow the Member’s Stand, to not only salute the club’s future, but fire a few salvos over the bow of the SS GWS Gnats.


They gave us the queen
They gave us the king
They were wheelin’ and dealin’
just doin’ their thing
They was holdin’ a pair
but we had to try
Their deuce was wild
but our ace was high
but how was we to know that they’d been dealt with before
said they never had a full house
but we should have known
from the tattoo on their left leg
and the garter on their right
they’d have the card to bring us down
if they played it right

They’ve got the Jack

They’ve got the Jack,

But we’ve got the Jacks, Jacks, Jacks, Jacks, Jacks.

We’ve got the Jacks”.


Time for the heathens to go back to Victoria Park as they must be getting soft down at the Datsun 120Y Centre. Pies “bad boy” Heath Shaw has been included in the leadership group. Not sure about anyone else but knocking off the neighbour’s milk money is “badder” than telling some porkies and having a punt on the footie. At least get some tatts mate.  Plus wearing zinc cream to training is the bad boy equivalent making fart noise under your armpit.


You’ve been Verballed by Mick

I have a sneaking suspicion that Mick McGuane is now back in the chair full time in place of Tony Jones on RSN of a morning. This can only be bad although The Hyena was a sook when someone disagreed with him. Mick was interviewing someone from North last week and came up with the grammatical gem of “getting onto a winning mentality”. I not sure how one mounts a mentality, winning or otherwise, but I’m sure Mick would give it a real red hot go.


Tip of the Week

Bathroom renovations present a father with a great opportunity to bond with a growing son. Not only can you get to teach him lots of interesting swearing combinations, you can pass on all the DYI skills that your own father failed to impart during your own childhood. Soon your young bloke will be working a jack hammer like a Stradivarius. An added bonus is Plumbers are not as dear as you expect on Sundays when he puts it through the pipe.  Hey, but that’s part of the some type of “learning curve” I’m sure.


Tony’s weekly Dump

Not much to grumble about this week other than the propensity of tradesmen to be called Mick and never turn up on time. I also have a small issue with Italian brickies who used a recipe for cement render that was surely passed down from the bloke who built the Parthenon. Oh there is one more. Have I mentioned what a plonker Kevin Sheedy is.  If I haven’t, Kevin Sheedy is a complete and utter plonker. If Falou gets 40 kicks for the year, let alone 40 goals, I’ll take out a platinum membership and bear my bum in Myer’s front window


See ya later


About Tony Robb

A life long Blues supporter of 49 years who has seen some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't Mick Malthouse driving a train.


  1. John Butler says

    TR, I can just imagine the Members singing it now.

  2. Skip of Skipton says

    Yes, The Jack! Good ol’ Bon and the early years of AC/DC and so forth.

    Jack was a very popular name to give a boy within the Public School rah-rah milieu some 20 years back.
    Same with Tom and Will. I recall an article in the Ballarat Courier last year, or maybe the year before, about the “Head of the River” type rowing contest that was about to take place between the local Public Schools.
    Every crew had a Jack or a Will or a Tom. One crew had all of the above.

  3. Bare my backside (Bum is a crude word) in Myers window Tony.

    Haven’t heard that since my father died.

  4. JB, But would they be singing it at Falls Creek?

    Skip, Jack was a emphanism for the pox so rather appropriate in a rah rah kind of way

    Sorry Phantom for upsetting your quaint Tasmanian sensabilities. We used to say “bare your arse in Mates’ window” which was the main depatment sstore in Albury. Sorry I said arse rather than backside

  5. Is that the old one on the corner of one of the western inner city streets with the two old snoozers who haven’t spoken to each other for fifty years who sell pre ww2 women’s unmentionables etc from old teak shelves, Tony?

    They are probably long gone by now.

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