Sausage Roll Review: Platy Pie Bakery of Mount Compass

BREAKING: Do sausage rolls have inherent meaning, or is their significance a construct of human perception and interpretation?

 

More to come…

 


 

 

September brings witness to my quest in locating the Fleurieu Peninsula’s finest sausage roll. It’s my higher earthly purpose. Heading to Port Elliot for my annual writing retreat, I call into the Platy Pie Bakery.

 

Strolling in I announce myself with the chirpily invitational, ‘Hello there. How are you going?’

 

Behind the counter the woman serving stares through me with the dead eyes of a cyborg and allows my words to hang in the air before they die shamefully, undeservingly, on the scratch-resistant, modestly industrial flooring.

 

This is not how I wanted our relationship to begin.

 

I press on. ‘I’m pretty keen on a sausage roll.’

 

‘Sauce?’

 

Ahh, she speaks.

 

As my task-oriented, chit-chat averse comrade digs about in the warmer I wonder. Beyond physical sustenance, what nourishment does a sausage roll offer to the human spirit, if any, and how does it contribute to our overall well-being?

 

Dodging a delivery man by the door I slip out to the front veranda of the bakery and pop onto a chair. The breeze is pushing the trees about with considerable energy, and I reckon it’ll turn into a typical spring day: windy and warm.

 

I then unleash the beast and It’s the most colossal sausage roll onto which I’ve ever clapped my blinking eyeballs. Its girth reminds me of the weapons used by the chimps in 2001: A Space Odyssey to cause violence to each other, thus signifying the vital evolutionary leap when our progenitors began to assert control over their world and, tellingly, each other.

 

As is often the case I was then distracted from my reflections upon Stanley Kubrick’s cinematography by some carrot.

 

Yes, my mega-sausage roll was happy host to sizable chunks of carrot. This constituted rare, positive, orange-hued news. Despite the pastry being somewhat flaky and on the cusp of oiliness it tasted, as the man once said, good.

 

Of course, a key thematic omission in 2001: A Space Odyssey is that none of the dramatis personae ask the following question of themselves or the villainous computer HAL 9000: Is a sausage roll more than the sum of its parts, and if so, what metaphysical properties might it possess?

 

Coming from a small family I’ve never had to tear competitively through my food with any urgency (although my wife Claire enjoyed her childhood tucker with an almost cricket team of nine gathered around the table, her meal-time etiquette doesn’t reflect this at all). Today, on this gusty patio I inhale my lunch with primeval, almost disturbing haste.

 

I next contemplate the thoughts of Aristotle or maybe it’s Jeffrey ‘The Dude’ Lebowski. I can’t never remember which. He might’ve remarked, what role does our appetite play in our enjoyment of a sausage roll, and how does it relate to our broader desires and cravings in life?

 

My lunch now done; I walk about town before pressing on towards Port Elliot.

 

The Platy Pie Bakery serves up a mammoth sausage roll and for carrot-lovers it’s a double treat which gives clear rise to this eternal, epicurean conundrum:

 

‘How do sausage rolls symbolise cultural identity and heritage, and what can their evolution over time tell us about ennobling change?’

 

Dunno.

 

 

 

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About Mickey Randall

No, instead I get out my Volleys, each with the inescapable hole, just by the little toe. What if someone bought a pair of Volleys and they didn’t develop these holes? The absence of holes would itself make a psychological hole.

Comments

  1. Loved your philosophical analysis of that mighty sausage roll. Would have loved to have seen a photo of it! Your topic is worthy of a thesis!

  2. Superb Mickey glad that the lady working was up for a chat – I admit not a lover of carrots tho

  3. Carrot – cheap filler or taste sensation? A nod to vegetarianism or the price of meat?
    The “sausage” roll has always been about making a virtue out of necessity.

  4. Thanks Tony. It was certainly substantial and got through the afternoon!

    Rulebook- I love a carrot but reckon this was the first time I’d met one in a sausage roll!

    PB- Either way I found the carrot a good inclusion, not unlike M. Marsh in recent times.

    Thanks.

  5. roger lowrey says

    Oh Mickey, Mickey Mickey.

    You never disappoint me do you? Back on to core sausage roll business and you are kicking serious arse.

    My dear boy, should I ever predecease you, I shall die a happy man for a whole bunch of reasons oddly enough. In no particular order, watching Geelong win a few flags in the latter stages of my life is one. Tipping consecutive Melbourne Cup winners in 2019 and 2020 is another. Drinking Guinness on the Dingle Peninsular is another. Should it ever come to pass, dying in a state of sanctifying grace could be another.

    But with apologies to Matthew 22/37 there is one greater than all these. And that is knowing the solution to that great existentialist question you pose about the sausage roll is in good hands, namely, yours my friend. Look after it well.

    Fine writing notwithstanding the surprise carrots and surly staff. Keep up the good work mate.

    RDL

  6. Coincidentally, 2001 A Space Odyssey was on SBS World Movies last night.

  7. Thanks RDL. It’s always great when a modest bakery visit provokes existential, if not spiritual contemplation! How great that something as simple as a sausage roll can provide such delightful surprise!

    Smokie- Right up there on my list. How great a villain is HAL? I love the parody on Tony Martin’s Sizzletown when as he’s ‘dying’ instead of singing ‘Daisy’ TM sings ‘Summer of ’69.’

    Thanks.

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