Round 7- Collingwood v Gold Coast: From bad to worst

What is happening?!”


That was my reaction on a perfect Melbourne Day at the ‘G sitting in what felt like a funeral in the Collingwood cheer squad.


Before I go on, let me take you back to our Wednesday.


Early Wednesday afternoon we check into Crown Metropole Hotel, with way too many bags for only four nights. Hubby and I share the same birthday you see, just one year apart. So, to treat ourselves we decided to book an early birthday staycation, why not?!


Level 23 came with some serious city views, use of the pool on the top level and complimentary bubbly. So far everything was PERFECT.


That night before our karaoke booking, we headed to one of the bars that makes ridiculously large cocktails. I ordered a strawberry daquiri and we chilled having a laugh talking about possible plans for the rest of the week. Behind my husband was a small hand sanitizing station and the next minute all I knew was I was watching Brayden Maynard sanitize his hands.


Obviously, I couldn’t see my own face but I’m sure my jaw hit the ground.


I manage a squeaky and low “Maynard…is BEHIND YOUUUUU…..” to alert my husband.


Before he can try to turn around and sneak a glimpse, and probably just to give me a heart attack, Brayden walks right into the bar and stands a couple of metres away with two mates.


“He’s…There….” I whisper-squeak at my husband and subtly tilt my head to the left.


He has a fast look and turns back around, “Haha it is him…go on, go say hi.”


I was only halfway through the daquiri so I can’t blame the drink, but my heart rate was out of control and everything was in slow motion.


“Nope, I can’t do it… if I get barred (rejected/ignored) by him I’ll actually CRY from devastation and I’m not willing to take that risk.”


I know what you’re thinking: Danni, how can you not approach your fav player in a social setting when he’s only meters away and in the perfect position BUT you can run 500 metres and chase down Brodie Grundy while screaming “I LOVE YOU!”


I mean it all comes down to personality. While Buzzy seems fun and games on social media his meeting fans persona is a bit quieter…maybe even a little intimidating. I can’t say I know him personally at all but the one time I did interact with him he was kind enough to sign my jumper during warm-up. During that signing he did not say a word, literally nothing – it was a bit awkward and so all I did was squeak a “Thank you” and that was it. Over the years I’ve shared many meeting my favorite players experiences with you all and that one was a bit underwhelming in comparison… and majorly impacted my decision not to approach him at the bar. I have his number on my jumper, so I wasn’t really willing to risk another awkward interaction, no thanks.


After a few solid minutes Maynard and his mates left and I was free to fangirl a lot louder.


“OHMYGOD…WHAT ARE THE ODDS?…I can’t believe he was just behind you…do you think he heard me say his name? He WAS REALLY CLOSE…and then he came in! But he didn’t make eye Contact…if he did MAYBE I would have considered asking for a selfie…but ohmygosh….my heart is going so fast!”


The next few days consisted of city walks, museum and art gallery tours, shopping adventures and lots of food and drinks.


Hubby and I hadn’t been to a game since the Prelim loss to GWS in 2019 – Don’t even.


And while our Pies just haven’t been giving back much this season (things unfortunately seem to be going from bad to worse) we really wanted to be there and were lucky enough to score some tickets from George (All Collingwood supporters know him as the admin of the ‘Realistically Confident Collingwood Supporters’ Facebook Page.


That morning we kept our routine of going to the buffett breakfast included in our stay while waiting for our table I hear my husband say, “Look it’s Maxy” and a clearly in a rush on his phone premiership captain Nick Maxwell rushes past but having heard my husband say his name turns around smiles and gives us a quick wave.






You could not wipe the smiles off our faces. My last interaction with Maxy I was still a University student in my second year of Journalism, and he went out of his way to stay back after being a guest lecturer so my partner and I could interview him for our radio assignment. We also had some glitches with the recording, and he told he was happy to start the whole interview again! I mean, what a man.


HUBBY: “I didn’t think he’d actually hear me and turn around to say hi to us, he was clearly in a rush so that was nice of him!”


ME: “100% he would, its Maxy, man of the people! If only we’d come in earlier, we could have asked him for a photo.”


After our breakfast of assorted cereals, mini pancakes with syrup and strawberries, croissants with jam, mini banana choc muffins with tea and juice we made our way to the ‘G.


As mentioned, before it was a perfect Melbourne day so we ditched transport altogether and walked from Crown.


A quick stop at a merchandise van before going in. Bruzzy wasn’t smiling in his photo but I bought it anyway because he’s a Danni favorite.


Our seats were level 2 Ponsford Stand about 4 rows from the front – STUNNING.



It felt so right to be there, and, in all honesty, I had penciled this game in as a win in my mind. So as far as I was concerned everything was PERFECT.


And then the game started.


This time I hadn’t drank any daquiris and yet I felt like the inner fuses in my brain were pulsing with pressure watching the game.


I have said it once, said it twice, said it many times – I am a supporter of Nathan Buckley


BUT when things aren’t going to plan changes must be made.


Forcing Darcy Moore into the forward role it’s so uncomfortable to watch. He’s just not meant to be there. If he was a struggling defender then yeah fine, experiment with him, try and reinvent his role up forward but he’s not only OUR best defender – He’s one of the best defenders in the AFL. We Tried it once and twice its clearly NOT working now please put him back where he belongs.


The side to side, hug the boundary line play may have worked for Malthouse BUT with our team it honestly looks like a circus. Now there’s added pressure on a tall like Grundy to have to stand as a second man and take the mark in the pack every single time.  We’ve made it ten times harder for ourselves by slowing the game down and then praying a hail Mary playing along the boundary hoping one of our players that takes the mark. And that is the only way of attack into our forward 50.


I can’t tell you how many times I yelled – “GO DOWN THE MIDDLE!”










They were the ones out there and yet I was exhausted.


When the half time siren went, our good friend Uncle Mick from Twitter sent us a message to come down to the cheer squad. We greeted each other and those around us with handshakes and headshakes.


And yet I was still partly optimistic. If the right changes are made during halftime, we might be in with a shot.


The changes:


  1. Put Darcy Moore back where he belongs.
  2. Stop playing boundary ball – GO DOWN THE DAMN MIDDLE.
  3. Play fast attacking footy so that change #2 works well.
  4. Make them chase us NOT the other way around.
  5. Stay on your man when they do start to go forward.
  6. Put some damn pressure on them when they try to leave our 50. If you lock in it there you save yourself the trouble of trying to get it back down from the other side of the ground.
  7. Stop slaughtering the handballs – it always ends up with the other team.
  8. CHASE and make sure your tackle sticks.
  9. STOP GOING BACKWARDS – Not only are you wasting time when you aren’t even in the lead, but you can cause a dangerous turn over.


To cut the story short no changes were made.


The only few really trying out there were McCreery, Daicos, Quaynor and Mihocek.


Waiting for the siren to put us out of our misery was torture.


The boys just looked like a car with a flat battery, try to turn the key but the engine is dead.


I really hope they can regroup, make the changes, and give us a win next week, because frankly the Magpie Army seems to be running low on patience.


I’m worried.



COLLINGWOOD     2.3     2.8     5.11     7.13     (55)
GOLD COAST          
2.2     6.3     9.3     12.7     (79)


 Mihocek 4, Daicos, Noble, Grundy
Gold Coast:
 Corbett 4, King 2, Swallow 2, Rankine, Ellis, Greenwood, Burgess


 Mihocek, Daicos, Pendlebury, Quaynor, Noble
Gold Coast: 
Miller, Ellis, Corbett, Greenwood, Bowes


Gold Coast: Nil                                                                                                  


Crowd: 24,397 at the MCG



(3) Miller (GC)

(2) Mihocek (COLL)

(1) McCreery (COLL)


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About Danielle Hakim

A passionate 28 year old Collingwood supporter who fangirls like a 16 year old at heart. Chased down and yelled "I love you" at a startled Brodie Grundy in 2018 after the Semi-final loss. Danced down the stairs with a Collingwood scarf one time to a De Goey song and the video went viral.


  1. Couldnt agree more with your summary Danielle. I would also look at putting Quaynor or Noble forward for a bit pace, but really there are 2 or 3 players that (in Coodabeens language), need to have a good hard look at themselves.

  2. Luke Reynolds says

    Danielle, can feel your angst in saying g’day to one of your heroes. Would be nothing worse than a bad response. Happy to report that most of mine that I’ve been lucky enough to meet (Collingwood players, cricketers, musicians) have been wonderful. Was especially nervous about meeting Peter Daicos (my all time hero) at a sportsmans night, but he was literally in the same class as a bloke as he was a footballer. Elite. Say g’day to Bruzzy next time.

    I’m worried too. Go Pies.

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