Happy last game of the season to all,
This week’s diatribe is in prose
The games are a bit of doze
But first let me say
There is some disarray
As the season comes to a close.
That disarray is really all around Fremantle and North Melbourne’s unabashed indications that they will not be putting their best teams on the ground. I sort of get the fuss with tickets purchased, broadcaster’s commitments, tipping competitions closing and wagers made. But they are all secondary to the clubs whose main goal is to win a premiership and they a very hard to win. This type of cloak and dagger stuff occurs every year in local leagues and nobody begrudges it, the teams have performed and earned the position to do what they please. Why should the AFL be any different? I hear the hollers of “compromised competition” but the compromise really starts when the lesser lights start “list managing” and putting substandard sides on the ground weeks ago. There is no need for the AFL to have to approve such plans as long as the team that does take the field makes every effort to win.
Now back to the prose!
The style I have chosen is limerick
Cause you can make them real quick
But it is written in terror
So excuse any error
As the iambic pentameter does click
Now we enter the final round
And can’t wait to get to the ground
For followers blue
It’s long overdue
Finalists hope they remain sound
Some teams are planning to rest
Players that are in their best
Their aim is clearly to hold
A cup whose value is gold
Next week comes the real test
So the league’s done away with the sub
Not supported by even one club
But while it was there
It made things more fair
Was a good place to blood a young bub
In a decision that is rather strange
They have now reduced interchange
They couldn’t conspire
To make players tire
Sixty was well within range
Party users are not put to shame
The league won’t put out their name
They have been rather complicit
Not recreational – illicit
Times are not quite the same.
Then what to do with Nick Kyrgios
Whose behavior has been quite bilious
The boy sure can play
So maybe one day
He might not be quite so hideous
This week’s picks will be poetic
And I hope they turn out prophetic
But with players out
There must be some doubt
I hope you will be sympathetic
Rance-id and Grimey ($1.08) vs Rest is Best ($8.00)
The team from the road of the punt
Whose fortunes have long been quite blunt
The mob led by Trent Cotchin
This week can’t be botchin’
Or again they won’t be in the hunt
With a Charlie a chance for Goldstein
50 more hit outs would be a good sign
But he will now rest
Next week is the test
Tiges are the selection for mine
But if their paths cross again in a week
Toward the grail for which they both seek
Should Richmond be winners
They’ll be saints not sinners
The alternative will be rather bleak
Stoked Out ($2.25) vs Charddy Sippers ($1.65)
How could you be so bold?
To say these Cats are old
They’re putting all their faith in Danger
Treating him like the boy in the manger
Sure hope he does not leave them cold
As Kelly and Stokes reach the end
On Kardinia Park fans’ll descend
A split knacker was more than enough
To show that this Pops was mighty tough
On these two the Cats could depend!
Tex, Josh, Charlie and Eddie
Have got Adelaide finals ready
The pride of South Australia
Defense led by Daniel Talia
Will even be picked by Blind Freddie
Kitchenware? ($4.25) vs Quickest Guns in the West ($1.22)
Such has been the plight of the Lion
They have a blow up called Brian
For winners of the spoon
Number one pick’s a boon
I doubt they will really be tryin’
Redden, Leuie and Aish set to go
They’ll want pretty good compo
Big forwards and backs
Will be their attacks
To land the opposition a blow
But the show that’s the best
Are the Dogs from the west
We all run to the telly
To see Bontempelli
The finals will be the big test
The Galway Pipes ($1.07) vs Lyon Down ($8.50)
Everyone’s early pick for the flag
Found the season a bit of a drag
Next year will be hard
With Boak, Wines and Wingard
2016 might have been just a lag!
They front Freo with the missing eleven
But none of them actually called Kevin
Lyon’s decided to tank
Port won’t need Stephen Dank
And would win if they were only less seven
Come Saturday night
There’ll be a difference in plight
The purple dream will live on
Port finally gone
For Freo the flag is in sight
Hawthorn ($1.08) vs Carlton ($17.00)
A home Final is merely a dream
For Victoria’s Number One team
Blues might be treated with care
Next week all need to be there
It’s part of a much bigger scheme
Injuries have come to conspire
So a decision is made to retire
Arrived a buono ragazzo
Well played Andrew Carrazzo
We’ve heard he may even umpire
For the Blues they get their wish
The season comes to a finish
Hendo can depart
Leave SOS to his art
Next year still not so bullish
Harbourtown ($1.04) vs Party Town ($11.00)
Rocket went to the land of the Sun
Thought coaching might be again fun
But injuries went through the team
With Gazza he lost all the cream
At least he is not in the gun
Sydney back on the ground of the trust
Where they play with much fervour and lust
The mids have more pluck
When Big Kurts in the Ruck
A win’s not an option a must
Can the Bloods be a real threat?
Not one that I’d want to bet
Buddy with a bad back
Most defenders a hack
Would be a sensational get.
The Corporation ($1.04) vs Last One Boys! ($11.00)
From being ripped apart by the Crows
The Eagles may seem on the nose
But at home in the west
They are a difficult test
And demolish most of their foes
The Saints though will come to plunder
But suspect they will be going under
But the kids are alright
Just too tired to fight
For next year we sit back and wonder
The Eagles ‘ll win this one easy
But finals will not as breezy
They rely on Nic Nat
To get it to Gatt
Will the year prove to be teasy?
Crossed out ($2.45) vs New Kids on the Block ($1.55)
The three letter acronym club
Might seem to be only a bub
They have locked plenty away
But Treloar might not stay
His destination can’t use him as sub
The Demons will suffer a loss
Next year without Daniel Cross
Coming from the ‘scray
He showed how to play
I think he might make a good boss
While Goodwin waits in the wings
Paul Roos says all these things
That it’s so hard to live
With fans negative
For now they must cope with the dings
The Carringbush ($1.28) vs Seen but not Hird ($3.70)
Pies’ fixture was not such a blessing
They had the footy world guessing
8 and 3 at the start
Wheels fell off the cart
With Buck’s head it really was messing
There is one thing that I’ll betcha
The Dons will miss Dustin Fletcher
No last game with the team
Or his groins would then scream
And finish his career on a stretcher
A Bomber fan who came from Nantucket
His season began with a full bucket
But much to his chagrin
WADA stepped in
And he told the AFL to go forget about it!
Amateur Hour
St Mary’s succumbed to the OGS
Surprising a couple of flogs
And up a grade now go Kew
Leaving Ormond plenty to rue
You can read more in a few blogs
The Monds beat the OGS in the past
Reckon they’ll do it again with a blast
A shock at the top
Old Scotch got the drop
They’ll want to be back again fast
Go Blues!
Yours in rhythm,
Cheers, Sal
Hey Sal, thanks for the kind words towards the Crows!! A Very Pleasant piece to read overall, Keep Up!!