Poetry: Black and White

By Andrew Gigacz

It used to seem very easy

To “footy fan” categorise

You barracked for us, or barracked for them

Or (GASP!) maybe even the Pies!

With “us” you got married, had kids

And with “them” you’d always be mates

But Pies fans were feral, immoral!

And for them you reserved all your hates

Those were the rules I grew up with

Each and every soul had their place

But these days I’m given to wonder

If those rules were built on false base

‘Cos I’ve recently met a few people

That I find I just cannot despise

They’re friendly and smart (and even like art)

But all of them follow the Pies!

Damn you Danni and Haiku Bob!

Why’d you have to muddy the water?

And why is Phil so bloody nice?

He’s destroyed my mind’s natural order

My hierarchy of footy is now so distorted

What was wrong, now almost seems right

And I’m finding the world so much greyer

Where it used to be all black and white.

About Andrew Gigacz

Well, here we are. The Bulldogs have won a flag. What do I do now?


  1. Nawwwwwwwww Gigs!! :)
    that’s soo sweet!!! :)
    and very true, Collingwood supporters are pretty cool people (i’m friends with heaps!)
    Also the thing about us having no teeth, well i have great teeth, just ask Mr. Healy! lol


  2. Phil Dimitriadis says

    See Gigs, even in an evil empire you can find some good. Don’t know if you can say the same about the parking inspector fraternity :(

  3. Gigs Gigs Gigs

    Think Mad Mick, Eddie, Figjam, Didak!

    Still having mixed feelings?

  4. Yeah her teeth are all right

  5. Stephen Cooke says

    If ever in doubt, just head on the Epping train after a Collingwood win at the G and see the toothless mongrels carry on about winning the flag. Your world will be put back in order pretty damn quick

  6. Glad you didn’t include me in your list Gigs. I’d rather stay feral (albeit in a rather wimpy, elderly, overeducated manner)

    Back before the 1990 premiership, when the Colliwobles were entering their fourth decade some fans of other clubs started to feel sorry for the Pies. I hated that! We are supposed to be part of a despised working class minority, subjected to snobby comments about teeth and accents from Upper Class Grammar Boys who barrack for clubs like Melbourne and Carlton with Liberal Party leaders as their Number One ticket holders.

    We are also supposed to reinforce the hatred by beating these upper class tools regularly on the football field – there hasn’t been nearly enough of that in the last fifty years!!

  7. John Butler says


    That depiction is about as current as the Leyland P76.

    With Lexus Centres, Toorak Eddie and a merchandising machine as ruthless as a Panzer division, Collingwood are as working class as an average Business Council meeting.

  8. Dave, please don’t take your omission from the piece above as an implication that I don’t consider you to be friendly and smart. I do indeed believe you are both. As for being feral, well, if you’d prefer to be seen as such (in a rather wimpy, elderly, overeducated manner), then I certainly wouldn’t want to offend your sensibilities by refuting the claim.

    Stephen C – I’ve been on that train many times. I won’t suggest that perhaps Danni, Phil et al catch the Hurstbridge train (as a Clifton Hill alighter, I can take either train), lest I be branded a suburb-ist.

    JB – the P76 will always be much closer to my heart than Collingwood ever will. I hope that allays some of your concerns about me.

  9. It’s not quite that simple John. Collingwood’s financial leadership has always been working class boys of dubious moral standards who’ve clawed their way into the non-respectable areas of the upper classes.

    You can compare John Wren, who was raised in Collingwood, and ended up as multi-millionaire in Kew, and got there on the backs of working class gamblers who blew their money at the Collingwood tote (see Power Without Glory) with Eddie from Broadmeadows, whose ability to attract hundreds of thousands of working class viewers encouraged Kerry Packer to pay him at a rate that allows him to live in Toorak. Both helped finance Collingwood Football Club.

    However, fans of other clubs can’t have it both ways. You can’t bag Collingwood for being toothless working class bogans and then suggest that Collingwood is no longer working class.

    Of course it is run as a business, all professional football clubs are. Of course you can find tertiary educated private school boys amongst Collingwood supporters and maybe even a small number of blue collar workers barracking for the “Dees”. But the majority of Pies fans are working class or were as children and the atmosphere at Pies games is pretty working class also – that presumably is what Stephen Cooke was referring to post #5.

  10. John Butler says


    A very scholarly argument that misses the point.

    Of course you can have it both ways if you’re arguing from the basis of blind tribal prejudice!

  11. haiku bob says


    You’re getting soft.

    Maybe you need to spend some time with big bad barry in the gym.


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