Our National Dish

I turned on the tennis

For news of our players,

But there’s no Aussies left

So I’ll suffer T20 – or even One Dayers.


According to Hamish

The fate of our Nation,

Rests on selling fast food

For our Birth’s celebration.


I know that we’re struggling

And Stosur’s pathetic,

But I thought that Grand Angus

Was the goalie for Celtic.


It’s how we define us

What we’ve bought – what we’re sold,

But a diet of Macca’s

Won’t win us more Gold.


Who to look up to

Now the PM’s a ranga?

I’ll stick to the sport

On my Hi Def Samsunga.


No better elsewhere

Tony’s a flanker,

For cricket and beer

We can’t beat Sri Lanka.


We used to love sport

We’d cheer every goal,

Now ratings and sponsors

Know the price of our soul.


When Andy moves on

Whose skills rule our game?

Saw a bloke fits the bill

Lance Armstrong’s his name.


He’s always a winner

Seven titles in France,

He’ll deflate soccer’s tyres

Won’t give rugby a chance.


What’s that you say

He’s a bit of a louse?

We’ve sold our soul and our game

To Tom Waterhouse.


Speaking for me

Don’t care much for the Day,

It’s just when the Poms

Hid their convicts away.


I’ll wait ‘til there’s footy

To keep national spirit alive,

The Day that I cherish

April Twenty Five.


Don’t know if it’s Aussie

To decline a Macca’s,

I’ll just share a real burger

With the rest of the ‘Nackers.


  1. Colin Ritchie says

    Had a burger with the lot from the Birregurra General Store recently. A bun that was toasted, I mean, what is a burger if the bun isn’t toasted? Prime meat from the Otways that tasted like real meat, a decent rasher of bacon, a real egg, crisp lettuce, healthy slices of tomato and beet root all topped with a special homemade dressing. What more could you ask for! It was magnificent. I feel sorry for people who buy their burgers from Macca’s, they don’t know what they are missing out on. In fact Peter you have inspired me. I’ll make the effort and go to Birregurra on Oz Day and have a real burger!

  2. Thanks Colin. Watched a fair bit of tennis yesterday, and that ‘faux Ocker’ McDonalds ad drove me crazy.
    Talk about “patriotism is the last resort of the scoundrel.”
    The Birregurra burger sounds genuinely Grand. Enjoy.

  3. Make that two mine with bacon

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