Did you bring a footy?

– Did you bring a footy?
– Yep.
– Where is it?

Nods towards his bike. One of those with a milk crate on the handlebars. Looped on with occy straps.

– Go on then.

Taz darts off towards his bike. It’s leaning against the barbecue. Barbecue made in Dromana. Nothing more certain. From Albany to Byron Bay, every public barbecue is made in Dromana.

Here come the Li sisters. They’ll be up for a kick.

– Hey! Jess! Sam! Wanna kick?!

Bung is miming the kicking action. Points his toe.
Feels a bit of hamstring tightness. No bother, no bother.

Taz has found the footy. Dingbat. What did he leave it there for?
Taz has a jog up. Side-to-side floats his hair; such a sure-footed bloke. Look at him there. Bouncing the ball in the long grass. It bounces straight back to him. Like a yo-yo.

– Taz! – Bung claps his hands now. Calling for the pill. Wants a nice easy one in front of the Li sisters here.

POOOONT.

And it’s a beauty. It’s spinning superbly; end over end. Good kick. He’s handy, that Taz. Hands are up, arms are up. THWACK. And it sticks. One grab.

– Hey Jess!

Looks over quickly. And he kicks the footy now towards Jess, on the bounce, lest it hurt her.
Jess swoops and collects it with a one-handed pick up on the jog.

– What do you call that kick, Bungman?

And she drills him with a low flat drop-punt; straight at the eyeballs.

– That’s how you pass a footy.
– Hooo hooo! Given a lesson there, Bungmeister!
– Thanks Taz. You should be on TV with those special comments.
– Piss off Bung. Taz is much too clever for those clowns.

He’s not sure how this has happened, but among four people here, Bung could have found himself to be the worst footballer.

– Come on! Are you gonna kick it or hatch it? – That’s Samantha Li now, weighing in. She’s got her arm up in the air. Like she’s Tommy Hawkins.

POOOONT

Bung roosts it high. Good shape. Though it could bring rain.
THWACK.
But that’s a fine mark from yer Samantha Li. Gotta hand it to her.
Look at her there pretending to play on and kicking… a drop kick!

– Whoah, Bungman! See that; Sam kicks drop kicks better than your drop punts!
– It’s the boots, Taz. I can’t claim the credit.
– What are they?
– Blunnies. The perfect drop-kick boot.
– Damn straight. The ol’ elastic-siders. Knew they would be. Can you lend them to Bung?

Jess is alongside Bung now. Right alongside. And Sam jogging up, too. Taz down the other end.
– Hey you can’t have three up one end!
Bung is pretty happy with three up one end.
– You’ll survive! More kicks!
– Righto!

POOOONT

Taz lopes after that one from Samantha Li. A bit skew-wiff.
– I’ll get it! No-no. No, I’ll get it!
Gets there. Effects an effortless pick up. Blind turns nobody. Thumps it long.

POOOONT

Sam and Jess fly for it. Eyes on the pill. Bung is out the back. Snaffles the crumb and feigns a handball to an invisible runner. Switches hands and offloads to Jess, who’s clapping for it.

This is good stuff.

POOOONT

Sits up perfectly for Taz. He skips for it; theatrically. Takes it from its arc in the air and throws it on his left boot. It’s a pretty good kick. Sam marks nicely.

– Show us another of your drop-kicks, Sam.
– Yeah? Alright. Watch this one.
– Here we go.
– Shut up, Jess.
– What are we watching?
– Howabout I pop this one into that bin over there?
– This’ll be good.
– Taz! Sam’s aiming for the bin!
– Get yer hand off it!
– Watch this! And with a drop-kick. Stand back ladies and gentlemen.

We’re all watching. It’s like a slow motion scene. Into the bin will be an amazing kick.

Samantha Li drops the footy. Exactly as the ball kisses the ground, she makes sweet contact with the leather of her swinging size 7 Blundstone.

POOOOONT

And there it goes.
In a perfect arc.
End over end over end.
A size 7 Blundstone boot.
Straight into the bin.