Round 5 – Gold Coast v Brisbane: Never the Bride

A crushing defeat, the eternal bridesmaid, the temptation of an expensive mini-bar… this would be a bummer of a read if Jamie Simmons didn’t have such a dry sense of humour.

Round 5 – Gold Coast v Brisbane: Kicked Around, Knocked to the Ground – The Suns Get to Their Feet and They Scream – We’re Going All the Way to the G!

Archie Butterfly’s Suns have risen – the Messiah will arrive fashionably late. Shannon Noll is on the phone.