Blacks Clinch ’12 GF Spot and ’13 A-Grade Berth

NO PROBLEM FOR OLD MEN AS EXPERIENCED BLACKERS GET THROUGH TO GF

They say that love can make music sound sweeter and food taste better. Whilst your narrator is not normally prone to such sentimentality, a similar feeling came over me as I carved through my sweet and sour pork whilst Rose Tattoo’s ‘We Can’t Be Beaten’ blared over the speakers at Whitehorse Plaza on Saturday morning. Clearly my love of going to the footy in September had engulfed me like the Plaza had its morning DIYers. With that, I headed to the nearby City Oval for what I hoped would be a momentous day.

Given the rivalry of the teams, the fact that a Grand Final berth was up for grabs and the windy and rainy conditions on display, the pre-game toss of the coin was crucial. When you throw in the fact that Magoos Skipper Andrew Jesse is famous for his pre-game intensity, it is no wonder that VAFA TV were able to capture the sort of vision that makes Friday night’s Franklin v Tarrant exchange look like a kindergarten spat.
The first quarter began with the expected level of intensity as both sides threw themselves in at the ball and attempted to navigate the tricky wind conditions with short kicks down the outer wing. While this made the game tough to follow for spectators, those who were able to run with the ball stood out like Mick Malthouse’s version of the truth. One player who fell into this category was the evergreen Andrew “I’m” Torney (Torney, Torney, Torney) who constantly won the ball and created play with his dash.
Both the second and third quarters were won convincingly by the Blacks and this was due to continued pressure all over the ground, and the occasional burst of brilliance to finish all of this good work off. One example of this, which illuminated the City of Whitehorse, was the shot at goal from veteran Jack Heeley just before half-time. With the game very much in the balance and with the Uni having missed some gettable chances, Heels took a mark 50 metres out from goal and proceeded to slowly go back over his mark. As he stood over the ball, Jack received more advice from his team than JFK did during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I can assure you that although this advice ranged from ‘centre it’ and ‘top of the square’ through to the less instructive ‘hurry the $#@! up’, he wasn’t ever expected to put it through the big sticks. Of course, his shot at goal was as cool as one of his favourite vodka and pineapples and the ball went through the big sticks to extend the Blacks’ lead.
In the final quarter, our boys managed to nail a couple of early goals which made the margin unattainable and allowed the caffeine-starved amongst us to stand in the queue for the on-site barista. Having eventually reached the service point, I was gazing away from the field and into the distance. Suddenly, l noticed steam emitting from the area behind me. Initially I thought that my order had been taken incorrectly and that my long black had turned into a latte or something else requiring the steamer. Instead, the mist was coming from the ground and I turned around in time to see that Rusty Else had taken umbrage with a similarly flame-haired opponent over a late tackle. Although the moment typified the relentless approach of the Blacks in the last quarter, the crowd couldn’t help but giggle at the two orange roughies. Fortunately, the tale has a happy ending as my sources tell me the pair were seen arm-in-arm watching the US Open Final only days after the game.
The 11:40 game on Grand Final Day will feature The Blacks and the winner of St Kevin’s v Beaumaris.
1st
2nd
3rd
Final
Uni Blacks
2.2.14
4.6.30
6.9.45
10.14.74
St. Kevin’s
1.2.8
1.3.9
1.4.10
2.5.17
Goal Kickers
Bismire 3, Jesse 2, Torney, Gardiner, D Batten, Heeley, Woods
Best Players
McNamara, Myers, Hunt, Torney, D Batten, Jesse
BLACKS IN A DAZE AS A-GRADE DREAM IS FULFILLED

With such a convincing win already banked, it was now up to the seniors to ensure that VAFA Premier B Grand Final day would involve a Blacks double header. Given that both teams achieved Minor Premier status and after having 3 players finish in the top 4 vote-getters in the competition best and fairest, The Moore Medal, during the week, one could say a Black Grand Final would be an appropriate result. Of course, those of us that have followed footy for long enough know that to expect things to just fall into place is as foolish as to expect the Blacks Punters Club to be conservative in September.
The first half was a tight, scrappy affair with both sides failing to capitalise on opportunities. With the rain continuing to fall and the stakes so high, both teams were desperate to enforce their will on the match. One player who was successful in doing this from the outset was Nick Batten. Having missed a lot of the pre-season, as well as some early home-and-away games, due to an overseas trip, Nick has impressed all with his commitment to ensuring that his form can be richer and last even longer than his holiday tan (and with his complexion, that’s saying something). Another who stood out like a beacon was Charlie ‘Umpires’ Pet’ Richardson who continued his Moore Medal form by winning many free kicks and giving the ball back at every ball-up.
They say that the third quarter is the ‘Premiership Quarter’. In all my years of covering footy, I haven’t been able to ascertain the origin of this term. To me, it’s up there (or down there) with ‘lower your eyes’ in the footy cliché stakes. I know for a fact that my eyes have remained in the same place for my entire life, and I would think that applies to most people1.
Anyway, the third quarter of this match saw The Blackers pull away from their opponents by applying relentless pressure and by finally capitalising on their opportunities. More than one goal was created by forwards defending the outgoing ball and all players should be proud of the fact that from the stands they appeared to be one Black unit. The only sour note of this period was Huw Lacey getting crunched in a marking contest and having to be taken off the field in a reasonably groggy state. Although Huw wanted to continue playing, he failed a quick test when the medical staff asked him how many goals he had kicked. He did in fact answer correctly by saying ‘two’, but when he followed it up with ‘and I think that’s enough’, it was clear he needed a rest.
The final stanza was a steady affair with our boys happy to maintain their lead. Whilst it did appear at one stage that the game would peter out, a goal from 45 metres after baulking two opponents by ruckman and Moore Silver Medallist, Andrew Willingham, was the sealer that the crowd needed to raise their damp fists to the heavens.
The victory was affirmation of the work put into the season thus far, and eventually an acknowledgment of the task ahead. As the Blacks pulled away through intermittent rain, it became clear that the club would be in a Grand Final in two weeks time, and in the VAFA Premier A division in 2013. The feeling of having one dream conquered, yet another one close, but still far away is a rare one, but the club has been there before in recent times. Fortunately, in 2012 the expectations are higher and the celebrations of 2007 were not matched on Saturday night. It’s fair to say that Ray Wilson’s credit card is thankful.
Saturday Sept 22 – Grand Final v St Kevin’s or Beaumaris. Wear black.
1st
2nd
3rd
Final
Uni Blacks
1.3.9
4.7.31
8.11.59
11.14.80
St. Kevin’s
0.1.1
1.3.9
1.4.10
1.7.13
Goal Kickers
Foster 3, Lacey 2, Matthews, Flight, Slabbert, Lahy, Willingham, Gaylor
Best Players
N Batten, Mahon, Willingham, Weekley, Lahy, Delahunty
1 Having said that, it has been suggested that soon after Adam Pitt took his VAFA Mark of The Year hanger at Beaumaris this season, the eyes of a member of the crowd popped out of their head and rolled onto the field. Fortunately they were able to get them back, but only after Jordie Foster tried to use them as dice.

About The Black Hack

Loves scoops. Hates deadlines

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