AFL Round 11 – Gold Coast v North Melbourne: The Mighty Rising Damp

The Shinboners have become the AFL’s version of a Dan Brown novel – they start out well enough but you’re guaranteed a disappointing finish – but to denounce North any further would do injustice to Gold Coast’s endeavour and evolution as a club.

The long road back to partial fitness

I’m standing at the top of the player’s race and I’m nervous. There are demons out there for me to face and, as bad luck would have it, they’re not from the Melbourne Football Club.

AFL Round 6 – Gold Coast v Fremantle: Mr Ebb

Jamie Simmons (who can write a line) with some rather amusing observations of Mr Ebb and his Dockers.

AFL Round 1 – Gold Coast v St.Kilda: Impostor

Lions fan Jamie Simmons went undercover into Suns territory and was impressed by a team rapidly coming of age.

Wife, Miss Universe and Everything

Igor completes his best self-analysis to determine why he can be found watching Brisbane pre-season training at 8am. His answer will resonate with everyone.

Brave Nude World

Brave Nude World To all the readers of this article (yes, both of you), I offer a pre-emptive apology as I attempt to tip toe my way through the veritable minefield of potential puns and double entendres that lie ahead. I would like to assure the more conservative among you that no effort will be [Read more]

The Dark Months

  by Jamie Simmons Is it March 24th yet? Anyone? No! How about now? Forgive me Almanackers if the largely incoherent ramblings that follow appear to mark my early descent into madness. I am normally a proud man (well, as proud as a man who walks to the shop in Star Wars themed slippers can [Read more]

Order of the Almanac (Early observations from the inside)

Until now I have kept largely silent. Serving my apprenticeship like all new Almanackers. Soaking up the knowledge of those that have come before me. Graciously accepting my thrice daily ration of tepid water and pie crust, before turning back once more into the lesson plan. Studying match reports from older versions of the good [Read more]

Empty crowd has a silver lining

by Jamie Simmons The burdens of my beloved Lions 0-7 season status are as obvious as they are many. Not least of all the whimsical barbs I’m obliged to endure from my wife who insists that I, patriotically adorned in club colours, would invite less derision by exiting the premises in a kaftan and slippers. [Read more]