Arma’s Club Corner – Edition 3

by Arma Nasco

Adelaide: Has recently launched “Super Seven” on Crows TV where they feature seven super moments from the previous round. It wasn’t hard for them to come up with a good set of seven from their opening round win. Looking forward to seeing if the “Super Seven” idea still has legs in the middle of winter if / when they’re on the receiving end of a hiding. Not saying that the video is a bad idea, just that putting a number on the highlights to be featured could be fraught with danger.

Brisbane: The Lions have a “Hyundai Kevin Murray Club” for supporters. I can’t remember too many Hyundais on the road when Bulldog Murray was playing, but even if there were, this is definitely a case of inappropriate sponsorship. Surely the “Holden Ute Kevin Murray Club” or the “Leyland P76 Kevin Murray Club” would have been a better fit.

Carlton: The kicking coach down at Carlton should be commended for his off-season innovation work. Whilst the Setanta O’Hailpin boot to the buttocks of Cameron Cloke should be marked highly on the kicking KPIs of accuracy and impact, it lacked the flair and innovation of Jarrad Waite’s effort on Luke McGuane. The reverse back-heel technique not only involved a significantly higher degree of difficulty, it also clearly struck the crown-jewels area which is naturally awarded bonus points.

Collingwood: Big Ed with a silent “H” recently warned Daisy Thomas “not to become the next Peter Moore” – which is not exactly like saying don’t be the next Doug Cox (younger readers may need the assistance of Google on that one). Moore did go onto win a second Brownlow after all.

Essendon: Bottle shops in Melbourne report an unprecedented surge in demand for Hardy’s Sir James Cuvee Brut. The call for a James Hird Knighthood has the champagne corks popping – could be a case of premature celebration.

Fremantle: For regular readers of this irregular column, you may remember that a slow news week at Freo had Arma’s Club Corner focussing on the apparent hirsuteness of the Dockers. Sometimes when you are right at the pointy-end of hard-hitting investigative journalism you are not entirely sure what has inspired you to focus on something so mundane. But that little piece of Peter Parker in you just smells a story. Well done to the Freo boys for being right on the front foot with the Leukaemia Foundation World’s Greatest Shave initiative – the preparation was very worthwhile.

Geelong: Has introduced “Tweet the Coach” where supporters will have their questions answered by Chris Scott ……. OMG, LOL, COL, WTF, LMAO, etc, etc. Apparently, he doesn’t respond to these tweets whilst the live action is underway – that would be quite distracting wouldn’t it? He has preferred to adopt the tactics of my good self whilst texting mates during games, opting to wait until after a goal is kicked and tweet responses whilst the ads are on. Just a good common sense approach by the coach.

Gold Coast: Has invited fans to “Pick their best 22” ahead of their inaugural game. With Bluey McKenna still learning all of their names, it begs the question, forget the best 22, can you name 22 in total?

Hawthorn: Mourn the loss of Des Meagher –a significant influence on the careers of many Hawk greats. Yabby Jeans’ frail state is not good news either.

Melbourne: Further news regarding Melbourne’s push towards 40,000 members. They have recently sought applications for additional casual membership sales staff. Given the trouble that they’ve been having with their phones, all applicants are advised that previous experience with two cans and a bit of string will be highly regarded.

North Melbourne: Andrew Swallow reports that, “Apparently Majak Daw has never heard of someone with the nickname ‘Punter’.” Sorry – best I could come up with for North.

Port Adelaide: Has announced a leadership group of nine. That’s right, nine. Decision making will follow the time honoured tradition of “all in favour say aye”. This could be the perfect defence for accusations of on-field “time wasting”…….. “Just hold on a minute umpire, we’re voting on who should take the toss this week.”

Richmond: Fighting Tiger Fund Update: Tiger Fan and sometimes-funny-man, Mick Molloy, presented Brendon Gale with a $5,000 donation to the FT Fund. Tapping into the experience from one of his better acting roles, he offered some proven fund raising ideas to Brendon.  He suggested that renting out the Punt Road car spaces to nearby business people would be an absolute winner.

Sydney: Reports are that the players were a bit miffed for more than one reason at the end of their Round One drawn match against Melbourne. With no winner’s theme song to play, someone at the AFL decided to blast out Barnesy’s “Ain’t No Second Prize” instead. Swans players may have thought that “Substitute” by The Who would have been more fitting.

StKilda: Speculating on the possible exit of Ricky Nixon’s clients, The Herald Sun reported that Peter Dal Santo (dad of St Kilda player Nick), said he was sure his son would “make the right decision” about his management. Resisting the temptation for a bit of “handy” schoolboy humour on this one, all that I can say is that Nick Dal Santo is not always known for his great decision making in off-field matters.

West Coast: Has reported that Mark LeCras (abductor) will be unavailable for selection for up to 10 weeks. They should be happy with this adjudication. Seems like a pretty light sentence for kidnapping.

Western Bulldogs: Has just announced the release of its own iPhone app. Among the bevy of features is Live Scores. “Shake to update”, they say. That’s right. Don’t like the current score, no worries. Just shake the phone and a new one will appear. Could have come in handy against the Bombers.

That is all


About Arma

Much-maligned footy banterer


  1. Arma,

    the Gold Coast Scums line up for the traditional rivalry fixture against Carlton on Saturday night would also qualify for their “Team of the Century” I would suggest.

    (Scums = reaction from a long term Geelong supporter)

  2. Aparently there are still a few ‘punters’ in Pakistan Arma.

    Reference: Tendulkar dropped 4 times

  3. Pamela Sherpa says

    Your North line is a beauty Arma. Thanks for the laugh

  4. I wander if the Gold Coast Scums will play in their traditional strip or their alternate strip for their first game?

  5. Thanks for the comments team!

    That is all

  6. Press reports failed to disclose that what LeCras absconded with was West Coast’s best chance of having a respectable season.

Leave a Comment