Answers to the Aus v NZ 3rd Test Quiz

The Almanac’s 3rd Test Match quiz received a lukewarm response, nonetheless we thank everyone who bothered. The winner was William S Town of Williamstown. Congratulations William on a marginally better effort than the 7 other entries. For the record, the answers were:

1. False: Boof the Wonder Dog is not the name of the Australian coach.

2. Geoff Marsh acquired the negatives in 1986. They still come in handy about three times a year.

3. A) Bubbles the Monkey is chairman of the Australian selection panel

4. C): Neither Wayne Weidemann nor Ken Cunningham ring the St Peter’s Cathedral bells. They are rung by Darren Jarman.

5. True: Someone actually read Michael Clarke’s Ashes diary from cover to cover

6. The Shane Warne Foundation is best applied in several layers.  Available for purchase online and from David Jones.

7. D) Somewhere between 11 cents and $47 of every purchase is donated to charity

8. C) ‘Pink balls have enjoyed rigorous testing at night’ said the bishop to the actress

9. True: Despite it’s spherical shape, leather cover and stitching, the pink cricket ball behaved remarkably like an actual cricket ball, although at night it swung more than Keith Miller on tour

10. 1 b) a pink cricket ball, 2 d) planes landing, 3 c) Rundle Mall, 4 a) Snowtown

11. Correct: Both Kerry Packer and Richie Benaud rolled in their graves when Channel 9 conducted a viewer poll to determine which commentator visited the Adelaide scoreboard

12. The person pictured is Darren Lehmann.  Shrek is a fictional character in an animated DreamWorks movie.

13. E) Commentator references to the ball being pink outnumbered that of the Adelaide Oval’s atmosphere, Victor Richardson Gates, the old Adelaide scoreboard, Les Favell and the church bells combined

14. Correct: Cricket Australia stated the night test was just an experiment.  Had Australia lost the result would have been expunged on the compelling basis that ‘it was all just a bit of fun’.

15. True: Something hit Nathan Lyon’s bat. Chief suspects on Nigel Llong’s list include; a seagull, a blowfly, a big booger, an unnecessary ‘l’ and the Voyager space probe

16. Correct: Despite exhaustive efforts by news subbies, none of Pink Floyd, Pink Fit, Pink Panther, Pretty in Pink, In the Pink, Tickled Pink, Pink Bits, Pink Slip and Ink Pink You Stink made a plausible cricket headline

17. True: Nine’s technological wizardry with early 2000’s graphics was referred to in glowing terms by air conditioning salesman Mark Taylor as ‘3D in 2D on HD’.

18. The acting Australian fieldsman pictured is Grant Baldwin.  He is a sports masseuse visiting the country with his father Alec who is promoting his latest movie (ironically titled ‘Blind’).

19. True: Grant Baldwin last played cricket in the Ringwood District Cricket Association on 14 March 2009

20. True: Justin Langer has no clue how to eliminate draws from test cricket but is confident Christopher Pyne will fix it

21. Correct: Justin Langer would also like to solve conflict in the Middle East but needs a bit more time on that one too

22. A) Australia reached peak stupidity when Mitch Starc batted with a broken foot with 2 runs to win, followed by D) Mitch Marsh’s 2nd inning dismissal, C) Shaun Marsh’s 1st innings dismissal, B) the team masseuse fielding

23. False: James Brayshaw’s favourite song is not the Smiths’ Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before (Brayshaw is more a Wham! fan)

24. To field for Australia in the 1st test against the West Indies, send a stamped self-addressed envelope with your name, contact number, email address and $50 to Cricket Australia


About Jeff Dowsing

Washed up former Inside Sport and Sunday Age Sport freelancer. Now just giving my stuff away to good homes. Not to worry, still have my health and day job. Published & unpublished works fester on my blog Write Line Fever.


  1. James Grapsas says

    Hi Jeff. Would it be feasible to show the questions alongside the answers?

  2. Grant Baldrick.

  3. It’s in the mail

  4. Hi James.

    You may not be familiar with the work of John Clarke (of the Clarke & Dawe political satire spot seen on TV for many years). His ‘quiz answers’ column have also been around for a number of years (in The Age). I freely admit this concept is a blatant rip-off and probably not even half as good.

  5. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    There’s some irony in the above, I’m just not sure where.

    I’m struggling to work out which Smiths songs *don’t* apply to Brayshaw.

  6. Jeff…
    Regarding this becoming a regular thing (as per my comment in your
    previous quiz): Excellent stuff.

  7. Kath Presdee says

    Actually the substitute fielding spot will be the subject of a new joint Cricket Australia/Channel 9 reality series. Contestants will face a variety of “pressure tests”: providing the refreshments for the Cricket Australia family at tea interval on Day four of the test; facing a session in the commentary box without deviating from standard cliche; correctly self-selecting as either a ” Julio” or “Nerd”, visiting the scoreboard and having correctly re-tuned their television to the new Channel 9 channels.

    Viewers will select the substitute by voting via the Cricket Australia app.

  8. Dave, if you send another $200 you will also get to bat at number 6 for Australia.

  9. Kath, be careful what you joke about.

    Nice work JD. I can’t believe no one has proposed the Justin Langer Philosophy Club as an idea. Matt Hayden and Andrew Symons would be walk up starts for the panel. It couldn’t be worse than the Verdict.

  10. Well played JD.
    Peak stupidity must have been difficult to split.

  11. Brilliant JD, love it.

    Watching last night, couldn’t believe we were placing our faith in Marsh, S.

    Worse was realising that the Kiwis were placing theirs in Mark Craig

    Like two bald men fighting over a comb a wiser man than I once said.

    Could any two less likely folk hold the fortunes of their countries?


  12. I think there’s a TV show in there JB. Haydos & Andy’s Fishing Expeditions? (first on the hook the often misunderstood Clarke shark).

  13. Fielding in a Hobart test ? Would Joe the camera man get a berth ?


  14. S Marsh v M Craig was quite the battle for the ages Sean.

    On limited viewing I thought Mitch Santner seemed the boy most likely to.

  15. Brin Paulsen says

    Many laughs JD. Great stuff.

    Also, having watched the replay over three hundred times now I’m comfortable in saying that it was the extra ‘l’ that hit Lyon’s bat. It actually passed so close to the body that Nathan almost became Llyon.

  16. Funny funny piece

  17. Luke Reynolds says

    Bubbles the monkey in fine form today selecting N.Coulter-Nile in the Test squad on the back of NO first-class cricket this season…

  18. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks JD superb although I reckon we are being unfair to monkeys re Baldwin fielding,Starc batting and now Coulter Niles selection all completely mind boggling to say the least and make,Shaun Marshs selection look completely logical.Wonder what price,Watto got from the Marshs for the photos ?

  19. Selecting bowlers on the basis they can send it down at over 140 clicks is a new one.

    I really hope Pattinson can get back to the bowler he was before the injuries but one would also have to question how sound that selection was.

    Fitness and form are so passé…

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