Almanac (Vocational) Life: A terrific opportunity at Malarkey

The Almanac needs a new in and under ball-winner (a coordinating editor) to make our large squad of flashy outside runners (let’s call them the writers) look good. Yes, we are hoping to find someone to look after


You may have participated in the draft at some stage. Equally, you may be getting a kick in a bush team somewhere. Maybe you are just interested in writing and editing. But we reckon you’re unlikely to have dismissed Malcolm Blight’s assertion that there are right hand and left hand footballs.


Most importantly though, to be suited to this position, you must have a deep understanding of the word ‘comrade.’


You need to be fascinated by the meaning contained in sport.


You need to know and love both sport (what we mortals play) and super-sport (elite, professional, mega-commercialised sport) and have an outstanding bull shit detector. Because despite what I’ve been hearing about sport and life over the last decade, “It’s not all good.”


You will need to have a natural curiosity and an understanding of the significance of history.


You will have your own enthusiasms and you will like all the good stuff in life, from music to Barossa shiraz to short par 4s.


You will need to have read enough books and journals (sports books and others) to convince John Harms that you know what idealism is, what romanticism is, what a community is, what a democracy is (in any context), what a dilemma is, what aesthetics are, and you need to have bottled at least one tear from either the opening bounce of Collingwood v Carlton earlier this year, the Doggies premiership (or the Tiges’) or Johnathan Thurston’s premiership-winning field goal. You will need to present this bottle at some stage during the selection process. If it is found the tears are actually the product of the bullying we-the-judges-accept-you manipulation of one of those fascist cooking or talent shows you will be allowed to finish your beer at the interview and then shown the door.


You will empathise with both Basil and Sybil Fawlty.


You will be suspicious of coach-speak, and even more suspicious of sports administrator-speak.


You will believe in excellence and attention to detail. You will direct the life of this site. You will make the Almanac concept your own.


If you are a good fit we can tweak the role to suit you – there are many possibilities in terms of duties, hours, responsibilities, opportunities.


Experience in the production of books – as a professional editor, graduate editor – would be good, but is not a prerequisite for the role.


This is not a 9 to 5 job. You will not be working for wages. It is a position of professional responsibility for which there is a salary. That salary is enormous in the context of human history.


If you are enthusiastic and capable, the role has the potential to expand. Your enthusiasm can facilitate that.


If you’re keen, and fair dinkum, and want to be involved in something fresh and deeply rewarding, please contact us by email. A response to this waffle – any response – may well be a window into your suitability for the role.



  1. I got sacked for only empathising with Manuel.
    A great opportunity for someone who lives 3,000 kilometres closer to the People’s Republic of Northcote and whose team hasn’t beaten Geelong twice in GF’s. Just look at the previous occupants of the position – Bon, Wavey, Cone Stole and myself – perhaps not.
    There must be 10,000 ABC, Fairfax and journalism graduates with pink slips looking for this sort of opportunity. Must be proficient in foreign languages (particularly South Australian). You get your own line of credit at the North Fitzroy Arms.
    Seriously – if I was younger, lived in Melbourne and was closer to parole I would jump at this opportunity. The proprietor and Knackers generally are the salt of the earth, and your heart will sing every morning as soon as the thud in your head stops.
    (*Previous applicants need not apply)

  2. That’s a brilliant (and from my experience totally accurate) job description.
    As you may know, I had a couple of years of a similar to this – on a Tuesday.
    I found it a playful, creative, ideas-driven day.
    A day of relating with and communicating with writers.
    A day of spinning wool.
    A day of sniffing the wind, anticipating the change.
    A day of reward for effort.
    A day of having a crack.

    Great fun – satisfying – as both the supported and as the supporter.

    Play on.

  3. Stone Cold Steve Baker says

    What about if you still have a carafe overflowing with tears of joy from Leon Baker’s final qtr of the 1984 VFL Grand Final?

  4. Reading one of Mickey’s Tales I was reminded of the time honoured golf club Honour Board.
    Would it be too much to ask for one above the green carpet putt-o-matic (dented) in the Board Room at Malarkey Towers? Ghosts of Editors Past and other notables.
    “2017. Patron – T.Handicapper. President – Theo. Secretary – H.Jarms (10 year badge). Treasurer – D.O’Donnell (CPA. B.Comm. Stawell 3rd). Club Champion – M.Wrap. Runner Up – R.Book. Ladies Vase – M de Hauteclocque.”
    I’m sure it would be an incentive for contributors and future editorial applicants.
    (*Past applicants need not apply).

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