Almanac Poetry: Lockdown Limericks


There was a young man named Dimma
Whose eyes held a deadly glimmer
When he played he was hard
With complete disregard
But now he’s a coach he’s a grinner.



There was a young man named Trent
Led the Tigers in their ascent
To a feast of crow
And a joy overflow
In that 2017 event.



There was a young man named Jack
The gun of the Tiger attack
“Doesn’t matter how far
Or where the goals are
I’ll kick ‘em to Tassie and back!”



There was a young man named Dusty
Who hunted the ball robustly
Skill without end
With a fearsome fend
“I’m breaking away, just trust me!”



There was a young man named Lynch
Who flew and never did flinch
“I can take a big mark
And light up the park
And kicking goals is a cinch!”



There was a young man named Grimes
Who stopped them from scoring oftimes
So smart and adept
With a quick intercept
And his timing is so sublime.



There was a young man named Titch
Who darts with each muscular twitch
He’s clean and he’s quick
And he knows how to kick
Look out – he’s doing the switch!



There was a young man named Dion
Whose name should be lit up in neon
He’s a ball of meat
Who can’t be beat
And his jumper’s got number three on.



There was a young man named Bachar
Who became a backline dasher
When he thumped Jed Lamb
He took it like a man
Cause Houli’s no balderdasher.



There was a young man named Baker
With the face of an innocent Quaker
But he’s small and quick
And releases each kick
On the bounce like an LA Laker



There was a young man named Balta
Who sprints and never does falter
He streaks at pace
And delivers the ace
And leaps like a steeplechase vaulter



There was a young man named Shai
Who likes to run and play
Takes a glance outside
And a step to the side
With a duck and a weave he’s away.






The Tigers Almanac 2019 .
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  1. Excellent John, and an extra point for robustly. The only thing I didn’t like was the whole damn thing. Now, if it had been about the mighty Hawks I would be gushing with praise. Onya

    To show I can roll with the spirit of other teams singing their own praise (said through gritted teeth) may I add a verse about a player who heralds from down our way. Preston that is.

    There was a young man named Kane
    A hard nut non-stop running train
    With a bullant’s bite
    And Punt Rd fight
    A forward’s eye and a midfielder’s brain

  2. John Green says

    A deft touch, Rick. Sounds like young Kane could go a bit.

  3. Well played,John v clever ( has been popular on Tiger Facebook pages )

  4. Love it, John.

    I have been known to sing the odd Limerick, ahem.

  5. John Green says

    Smokie, I suppose you’re aware that Richmond legend Jack ‘Skinny’ Titus ran the Limerick Castle Hotel in North Melbourne. In fact he died of a heart attack in the pub in 1978 after breaking up a fight in the bar.

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