Almanac Life: Football and a dog helped
This is a true story. The subject of this piece is a friend who is happy for me to share this story. Jack is not their real name.
Jack spent 10 years addicted to drugs. He soon learnt that there are no real friends in the drug world and that no one in that world cares about you. He finally realised that they were only interested in themselves and were only too willing to ‘rat’ each other out if it improved their position.
Jack often reflects on how fortunate he is to have emerged from his long years of drug addiction still alive. He had been close to death several times. In particular, he has a vivid memory of the night he was cooking methamphetamine with some so-called ‘friends’ in Melbourne’s west, where he nearly paid the ultimate price for his habit. Some in the methamphetamine group became convinced he was an undercover cop or an informant and in their paranoia bashed him and threatened to have him cut into small pieces.
On another occasion where he had unwittingly sold bogus ice to a ‘friend’, Jack had to find $10,000 to save his hide. It was his girlfriend at the time who paid the money by taking out a personal loan. She was a wonderful person and he loved her. When her parents learnt about the loan they forced her to dissolve the relationship.
Jack had been devastated at the break-up. He knew that he wasn’t a bad person. He had always cared about others, never been a thief and never contemplated hurting anybody.
With the relationship breakdown Jack knew that he was on the way to losing everything and everyone who ever cared for him. He had to somehow get out of the world he was in and away from the bad people surrounding him in the dark world he inhabited.
Jack had tried before to break the cycle of his addiction by moving towns and managed to stay clean for a short time before succumbing again to his habit. Weary from fear and loathing and thinking a life without drugs was not possible, Jack had tried to end his life.
Thankfully, Jack’s parents were always there for him and he moved back home. With their support he went ‘cold turkey’. His mother bought him a dog.
Jack began taking daily walks with Brum his new canine friend, then riding his bicycle combined with attending the local gym. It was tough going but he persevered through the pain. His new best friend helped him focus and maintain a solid sense of purpose, grit and determination to get clean.
As days morphed into weeks and weeks into months Jack continued his exercise regime and also returned to guitar playing and song writing. He began to like himself a little more.
Jack’s daily walk or ride used to take him past his old football club oval. He often stopped for a short while and in moments of nostalgia remembered his time playing under age footy with the club. He wasn’t a star, but he possessed good skills and never gave up. Some might say he was one of those solid, dependable, serviceable type players. The sort of player that every team needs at least a couple of to support their more highly skilled players at one end and the rest of the team at the other end. The sort of player that fits somewhere in that middle. Always there when needed, always reliable no matter what.
On one of his walks with Brum in late summer as he paused for a short time outside the local football club rooms, Jack met a couple of former school and footy mates whom he hadn’t seen for many years.
They were friends that had dropped out of his life during his addicted years. His old friends actively pressed Jack to join the local footy club’s pre-season training. At first Jack was reluctant but with his parents’ encouragement he attended training. His mother bought him a pair of new boots and training gear. It took a few sessions for his ball skills and footy know-how to return, but return they did.
At training Jack met up with a number of other former mates that he had played underage footy with but hadn’t seen for many years. Soon he started to enjoy the sense of belonging that being in a footy team can bring. In the ensuing season Jack played in the reserves team and managed a couple of senior games. All in all, he had a good season and both teams made the finals.
Jack considers that getting back into the local footy club with its camaraderie, social connectedness and esprit de corp helped him combat the years of isolation caused by his addiction and concomitant mental health struggles. Establishing a regular schedule for training and playing gave him a sense of stability and purpose that had been missing in his life for many years. Jack says that getting mixed up with the footy club was a significant factor in achieving well-being and building resistance against the challenges posed by his mental health issues and addiction.
These days life is good for Jack. He has a loving relationship with a new partner and a daughter he loves dearly. After qualifying as a drug and alcohol counsellor Jack now has a satisfying job helping others free themselves from addiction.
Jack says that he has many to thank for his strong desire to get better and walk the road to recovery, none more so than his parents for staying the course with him. Then of course there is his best mate Brum and the culture of the local footy club. Maintaining a regular exercise regime, coupled with meditation and other support systems, have also been key ingredients of his success to a drug free life.
Jack considers himself one of the lucky ones.
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Great story Allan. I’ve known hundreds of addicts of all types in my recovery journey. Count on one hand the number that weren’t great people underneath. Just lost and trapped in the addictive cycle. Many of us play golf regularly – you need healthy addictions to replace the time spent on the unhealthy one.
The great thing about golf – beyond the walking and mental engagement – is that you get to chat and know people on the way around. Footy or tennis etc – you get to know people after the game.
Addiction is about isolation and secret escape that becomes its own prison. Recovery is about community and connection.
I really enjoyed your story Allan. That’s a mighty effort from jack and those who never gave up on him.
I enjoy you straight forward story-telling. It’s a lovely voice, always filled with empathy, whether for someone troubled or someone enjoying the moment.
Loved this Allan. A great story with real resonance thankyou
Thanks chaps.
Peter, I agree with all your thoughts/points. Someone very close to me struggled and didn’t make it so Jack’s story was a good positive one for me to write-up and share with others. Like you I’m a big believer in the benefits of sport (especially team/group), exercise and social connectedness to those suffering with addiction or mental illness.
I’m in my ‘giving back’ years so I’m helping an addiction centre (a fantastic org.) with their corporate governance and have just accepted a position on their Board.
‘Jack’ is doing well and getting into footy again in 2024. Not playing now but on the management/administrative side for a club.
A very moving, respectful and uplifting story to share Allan. Many positive points raised and it is admirable that you are contributing to people who have life experiences similar to Jack through your work at an addiction centre. Well done
Another great piece of writing Allan, and a lovely outcome for Jack. It shows that everyone has a need to belong where they are supported, whether in a family, with friends or even a club environment. Looking forward to your next story.
There is so much in this story and the comments. I thankfully have not experienced the depth of dispare with anyone I am close to. However, the dog, the game of golf, family support (both for the subject and his initial girlfriend), sporting club community support and the recognition of any addictive behaviour has initiated some reflection for me. I hope this makes sense. Great contribution.
Thanks for this story Allan, thanks for sharing
I would like to echo Pete B’s comments, particularly “Count on one hand the number who weren’t great people underneath.”
Life is about connection. Social connection and self esteem.
Thanks
Frank