Almanac Exclusive: 20th AFL team bids revealed

With the imminent announcement next week that the Tasmania Devils will be admitted as the AFL’s 19th club for the 2019 season, The Footy Almanac can exclusively reveal that talks surrounding a 20th club are extremely well advanced.

 

AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan, fresh from solving the North-South divide in Tasmania that has helped the Apple Isle finally get to field it’s own team, has told stakeholders that an odd number of teams and the resulting bye isn’t good for the game, and greatly affects the League’s ability to schedule split rounds, which are much loved by footy fans.

 

The favoured, and strongest bid has come from SANFL club Norwood. New Norwood president Malcolm Ashwood, who was part of the planning committee for the new National Reserves Competition (NRC), has orchestrated a compelling case for Norwood, while along the way personally raising the 12 million dollar licence fee single handedly. “Four nights of selling raffle tickets at the Cathedral Hotel and the Wellington Hotel covered that easily, with plenty left over to fund a new grandstand at Norwood Oval,” said Mr Ashwood.

 

Norwood President Malcolm Ashwood speaking at the Redlegs AFL bid launch.

 

Norwood CEO Dave Brown spoke passionately about what the Redlegs could bring to the AFL. “The AFL is sadly lacking in a sense of community. Norwood will be a community based club while still displaying all the traits of an elite, professional club. The city of Adelaide is crying out for a club of the people. The Crows cater for the elite, while Port cater for the bogans. We will be the club for everyone. We will be more South Australian than Coopers, Barrie Robran and David Hookes. More South Australian than Jamie Siddons, Ashley Mallett, Clarrie Grimmett, The Don, Michael Klinger and Patrick Dangerfield,” said Mr Brown.

 

The Norwood bid has much support from the AFL, with the commission keen for extra matches at the Adelaide Oval, now rated as the greatest stadium in the world ever built. Brown confirmed some games would also be played at The Parade, against “smaller club’s like GWS, Gold Coast and Essendon, keeping the club firmly a part of the Norwood community.”

 

When quizzed about the jumper clash with Melbourne, Mr Ashwood commented that it wouldn’t be a huge issue given any club that employs Troy Chaplin as an assistant coach is highly unlikely to last much longer in the AFL anyway.

 

A bid from a group with the working title “Geelong City FC” also has launched strongly and has some support inside AFL House. “With the majority of all Geelong Cats fans now living in Northcote and Colac, the people who actually live in Geelong need a club that actually represents them,” explained Geelong City spokesman Nathan Ablett. Geelong City would play all games at Kardinia Park, and train initially at Moggs Creek until a suitable training facility can be developed in Geelong.

 

The third and final bid comes from the NEAFL team the Northern Territory Thunder. While some on the AFL commission like the idea of a team based in the Territory, the Darwin/Alice Springs divide is considered a much harder fix than the Hobart/Launceston divide so successfully healed by Gillon McLachlan. The Thunder’s bid is considered highly unlikely to be successful, and a much more realistic chance of inclusion in the next AFL expansion in 2030.

 

The winning bidder will be announced during half time of the AFLX Grand Final.

About Luke Reynolds

Cricket and Collingwood tragic. Twitter: @crackers134

Comments

  1. Geoff Wilson says:

    Now that is very funny, gave me a good laugh at work. Well done Luke.

  2. Dave Brown says:

    Haha, I’m in!

  3. Rulebook says:

    Browny we’re gunna take over the world ! Well played Luke bloody hilarious

  4. Eric Weltner says:

    Very funny! Norwood in the AFL? Definitely had to be a piss take!

  5. Jamie Mason says:

    Is that a recent photo Rulebook?

  6. very funny…good luck on selling those raffle tickets,lol

  7. Jeff Milton says:

    A number of clubs in the current AFL who would like to have the underlying support base that Norwood has.

  8. Rulebook says:

    Photo taken about 3 years ago Mase by Marc Robinson and the art work by Brenton Klaebe

  9. Dan Hansen says:

    An AFL President who greets dignitaries wearing tracky dacks. I’ll support Norwood’s bid for that eventuality alone.

  10. Ah yes, well played, Crackers.
    I just love Almanac exclusives.

    THIS is what I want to read on a Friday arvo!
    Not stories and rumours about who may be traded where.

    Can you picture Rulebook at the AFL presidents’ dinner?

    Excellent stuff.

  11. Put a smile on my dial. Bloody ridiculous. But…………….it makes sense.

  12. Funny!!

  13. E.regnans says:

    Look out, world.
    Other scenarios thought to be possible only in fiction have recently come into our lives…
    Great job crackers.

  14. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    This gave me a Woodcock

  15. Mahatma Coat says:

    Enjoyed that. Thanks for the link Book. Who gets the credit for the Troy Chaplin sledge? Do you have a lesser opinion of Simon Goodwin these days for working with Chaplin? Or a higher opinion for what he’s achieved despite working with Chaplin?

  16. Pick the odd president out:

    A, Trump
    B. Rulebook
    C. Kim Jong Un

  17. Sam McEwen says:

    Hilarious. Clearly the Norwood Sturt bid should have triumphed in 1997 and Port should not be in the afl!

  18. Cat from the Country says:

    Just the kaugh I needed after being done by Sydney!
    Enuff sed.

  19. That was funny.

  20. Jamie Siddons is a Victorian. Ashley Mallett hails from W.A

  21. Phillip Dimitriadis says:

    That’s a cracker Crackers. Imagine Book as President of Collingwood? All the good, grassroots people might come back to the club.

  22. Can’t wait to see Malcolm bring Norwood some AFL premierships back to the Parade in a few seasons!

  23. Malcolm Ashwood says:

    Mahatma brilliant move by Goody if the dees win it’s a Simon Goodwin and if they lose its bloody,Chaplin.
    Danny track suits are back in town baby.Hey Phil I would have a crack and Campbell we are taking over the world.

  24. Very humorous.

  25. That’s gold…very funny and a great read.

  26. Looking forward to the clash between Norwood and ‘small club’ Essendon at the Parade

  27. Luke Reynolds says:

    Thanks for the comments. Was fun to write, thanks to Rulebook for being such a good sport about it all.

    Mahatma-Chaplin sledge was mine, inspired by Rulebook, of course

    Mickey-C. Kim Jong Un

    Lachlan- Grimmett, Bradman, Klinger and Dangerfield all hailed from states other than South Australia too….

  28. Never let the truth get in the way off a good story what scares me is some off what has been mentioned in the article has been mentioned in real life

  29. Funny read mate.
    On another note the season for the Bombers faithful is now complete with wins over Carlton and smashing the Pies twice, puss face might actually keep his job with consecutive wins since losing to the red and black freight train.

  30. Cameron Glenn says:

    Funny stuff. Im surprised there was not a bid from Wellington to allow a fierce rivalry with Fremantle and West Coast for the distance derbies of the AFL. Wollongong should have got a nod too and would form a fierce rivalry with Geelong in the Long Gong derby for the 2 regional cities.

  31. Luke Reynolds says:

    Cameron- brilliant, love the sound of the Long Gong derby!!!

  32. A compelling case could be made for a 3rd AFL license in the Eastern Suburbs

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