AFL Round 15 – Collingwood v Carlton: Not driving miss Daisy

Two weeks before the Collingwood v Carlton match my Carlton supporting uncle and I bought our tickets. Knowing Melbourne and its psycho weather we picked undercover seats in the nosebleed section just to be safe. Lucky we did.

I struggled to pull my thin short-sleeve Collingwood jumper over the singlet, two thin long-sleeved tops and thick hoodie I was wearing. The only good thing about the nosebleed section is that you’re too high up for the boys to see you look like a frumpy padded Eskimo.

I don’t do public transport, or freezing cold weather but I was willing to sacrifice this for the footy. Getting onto the tram waiting for my stupid Myki card to do its thing on the scanning pad the tram decided to jerk forward knocking me into my poor uncle who as usual laughed at my awkward moment. Great start lol.

As we walked toward the beautifully lit MCG flicking raindrops started to drop. Walking to gate 5 we spotted a journo facing a camera. Forgetting to even look to see which journo it was I got ready for my 5 seconds of fame as girl who played: ‘the excited fan walking past in the background.’ I got close enough to hear the journo talking then waved my scarf around while passing by. If anyone has this footage let me know lol.

There are certain things as a Collingwood supporter that I am expected to do. One of these things is to give the ‘you ain’t shit boo’ look to any Carlton supporter who makes eye contact. I stopped at the merch van for a quick badge purchase. “Can I get Grundy and Elliot?” I felt like I was ordering a Big Mac lol if only it was that easy to actually get Grundy and Elliot. I pinned my badges to my scarf next to my Pendlebury and Buckley badges as we walked into gate 5.

The fireworks that went off when my boys ran through the banner, LOVE LOVE LOVE! It made it so dramatic but I think it was Collingwood’s way of the club saying “Sorry for dragging yall out on a Sunday night in the freezing cold, here have some fireworks!” I’ll take apology fireworks over Carlton’s “Sorry we suck and lost again, here have a snag.”

By quarter time captain Pendles had scored two goals and my boys looked in control. We moved down more than a few rows, as close as we can get to the front while staying under cover. We can afford to, since hardly anyone showed up. Though the crowd was light the noise and frustration was not. Having moved to a more open area I looked around the immediate vicinity only to see all navy blue…like that was gonna stop me.

A navy blue Judas, the long-sleeved number 39 was “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!ed” every time he got near the footy. That’s brings us to another thing I’m expected to do as a Collingwood supporter, boo former Magpie players (and Mick) who go to Carlton for money . When Thomas took a mark and got ready to have a shot at goal, the boos, especially mine, were haunting. The Carlton bloke right behind me found this amusing as I was a lone Magpie. “That’s right Collingwood fans boo your little hearts out” he mocked knowing that I could hear him. Oh, are my boos too timid for you? Okay let’s kick it up a notch.

I sat up a little straighter cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled; “CASH WHORE!!!!!!!!” “CASH WHOREEEEEEEEE!” “CASH COW! I LOVE YOU MISS DAISY!” My uncle who had never seen ‘footy Danni’ before and the three Carlton supporters a few seats down in our row leaned in and looked over. STUNNED. The Blues behind me, SILENT. Did those blokes actually think I was going to be intimidated by all the blue around me and stop booing? Lol I gave them one better.

Suddenly Carlton came back and my first thought was- oh shit, Bucks losing against Mick? I can’t deal with that! Judas Thomas singing after a win against US being all “Da, dada, da HELLLL NO!”

The rest of the game was so intense you forgot there was only 40 thousand something there. The umpiring was disgraceful and I’m not just talking on some Collingwood decisions but there were at least seven free-kicks that Carlton didn’t get.

When Sidey kicked that sealer I jumper out of my seat screaming and waving my arms in the air like they did on ‘The Price is Right’ when they announce “IT’S A NEW CAR!!!!!!” I swear to Eddie if Larry Emdur was anywhere in sight I would have bear hugged him.

You’re doing good Bucks, You’re doing good.

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo

Comments

  1. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Funny Dani

    Bio – “Admirer of Jon Ralph”, better hope Litza doesn’t find out.

    For Daisy, the Price Was Right.

    Did the merch van ask if you wanted any Side(bottom)s with your order?

  2. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    That’s a ripper Danni. I love how you get all biblical on the traitors. Good on you for sticking it to the Baggers. They so desire to express that smugness from the 20th century especially since they signed Methuselah Malthouse. We are on the right track. Great report :))

  3. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Good stuff Danni great passion for your club and good on you for getting stuck in to Money Bags Miss Daisy Thomas

  4. Danielle says

    Thanks Mark :)
    lol come on, even Ralphy knows I love Ralph.
    Haha its was A mixed merch van and the lady that served me was in Carlton gear, my first thought was I hope she knows her Collingwood players or she’ll have to read every badge.

    PHIL! How awesome was that win?! Haha I had to defend our honour. When a Carlton player almost ran into goal and missed I said “what an idiot, nobody near him, he could have run in more and he still missed” the two blues behind me replied “that’s exactly what I was about to say” haha I think they had somehow accepted me after my brave cash who’re outburst haha, that really shut them up.
    Go Pies!

  5. Danielle says

    Cheers Malcolm :) I just couldn’t help myself lol

  6. Dave Nadel says

    Good on you Danni. I can’t bring myself to boo Daisy but I’m sort of glad that you do.

    I think that Karma will deal with Daisy. Collingwood is a lot closer to winning a flag (although not this year) than Carlton. There is a good chance that Daisy’s fellow Gippslanders, Pendles, Goldie and Blair will end up as double Premiership players. There is no chance of Daisy achieving this.

  7. Danielle says

    Aww Dave you’re too nice I can tell!

    Haha god-willing one flag for us while he’s playing for them would be the ultimate cop that son!

  8. daniel flesch says

    Danielle i wish you could go and boo our cash whore traitor L. Franklin for me. Round 18 at the G. I’d be most grateful. 800 grand a year not enough for him ; had to get a million. Sheeesh !

  9. Danielle says

    Daniel if I find myself at a franklin game I will be happy to! Lol
    Although im sure it wouldn’t be as funny as his Swans are right up there in contrast with Daisy’s Blues :(

  10. Great Read haaha!

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