A Heavenly Forum

Oppy and Mocky were chesting the bar,

Looking down on the Tour from a heavenly star,

“Doesn’t seem fair we’ve all fought so long,

The Champs Elysee needs an Aussie Fair song.”


But things just don’t happen from man’s good intention,

Just a small touch of luck – some divine intervention,

So they called up a posse – the best of the nation,

They’d front up to God with a champ’s delegation.


Oppy piped up he’s the best that I’ve seen,

That squeaky voiced kid from down Bellarine,

Oppy said Don we all know you were great,

But Don shook his head – not that tough mate.


Lionel said boxing is tough but it’s quick,

Three weeks in the saddle – don’t think I could stick,

And Hoppy said tennis gives you breaks in the play,

That Tour’s bloody tough – six hours every day.


Maybe we’re old – Oppy confessed,

We’ll ask that new bloke – coached the modern day best,

So Yabby was summoned to check out the form,

And Yabby brought Bobby, and Bobby brought Norm.


One thing’s for sure we can say now we’re dead,

The view up here’s brighter than a hospital bed,

It’s tougher than footy – no-one on your side,

When you’re left on the Alps there’s nowhere to hide.


Only one other challenge took so many years,

Oppy said wisely as he poured them all beers,

The Yanks had us stitched with that America’s Cup,

And so Ben was asked how to sum these things up.


Bertrand was smart and the crew was all tough,

But Newport’s sea’s smooth – those mountains are rough,

And anyway mates – the Boss’s bound for hell,

Leaves a space on our podium one day for Cadel.


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