11 random observations from the first week of the finals: No dwarves were harmed in the making of this article

It is great to have the footy back. Not a peptide to be seen, no interviews at Stephen Dank’s house (why does he lock a little gate we can all step over?), and people talking about, (I don’t know, crazy idea here), THE GAME!

With no theme save the quirky and weird, much like Collingwood’s selections and coaching Saturday, some things I gleaned from the weekend:

  1. As far as I can make out, no dwarves were set alight over the weekend, and whilst that as a measure of success could be seen as coming from a fairly low base, I think we’ll take it.
  2. There’s no I in TEAM! Yes, but there is one in ‘side’ and ‘line-up’, and a Y in ‘players’.
  3. There’s also an I and a ME in Clive Palmer.
  4. Carlton bought back in a bald bloke, with 2 Brownlows, a Premiership captain, a Norm Smith medal, who has been in lots of recent TAC advertising and has a missus who reads the weather. You’d think the Richmond players would have noticed him and tried to curb his influence.
  5. If the Pav played in a Melbourne based side, we would be banging on about what a champion he is every week. As it is, we all laud Nick Reiwoldt taking marks on the wing, running quite a lot and missing set shots.
  6. Geelong, a side with notorious sledgers like Mackie, cheeky show-offs like Stevie J, hard nuts like Chappy, free-kick magnets like Selwood and who won flags with blokes with a touch of mongrel in them like Mooney and Scarlett, get upset by the Dockers’ tactics? Spare me.
  7. The Cats play Freo at home, then Port at the G? Consistency, thy name is Demetriou.
  8. No one does “He’s the Messiah, we are saved (again)” better than the Melbourne Football Club.
  9. Could we check whatever the hell it is that Nick Duigan puts in his salad rolls? I want a B sample taken.
  10. Does anyone remember, way way back last Friday, that the replay of last year’s GF saw the Hawks completely carve up the reigning Premiers to the tune of nearly 10 goals, without Buddy and Cyril? That they are fully fit, the week off, have one of the finest finals players in Hodge running things across half back, have numerous avenues to goal and are filthy hungry after last year? Who would have thought they’d be off Broadway and under the radar.
  11. In the same time it took Rudd to say “I lost”, Richmond gave up a 5 goal lead, Apple released 2 new iPhones, a Kardashian got married and divorced, 2 more movies about a hostage situation with an American President came out, a 20/20 game was played, Serena Williams completed her 3rd AND 4th round matches, One Direction wrote and released a song and Shane Watson looked in the mirror and said “geez, I’m good” and practiced his DRS referral sign 53 times.


About Sean Curtain

"He was born with a gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad". First line of 'Scaramouche' by Sabatini, always liked that.


  1. Very good

  2. Plenty of zingers Sean, and a good number of bullseyes. And good to see you’re still targeted Nick R … he brings out a vicious side of you that appeals this end.

  3. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Great Stuff as always Sean Spot on re your Sledge of Andy D
    Nick DUIGAN coils start up a business selling Home Made Salad Rolls
    S Watson only 53 Times ?
    Amusing well done Sean

  4. Pretty sure it was Pavlich Rudyard Kipling was thinking of when he wrote “If”.

    If you had played your home games at the G
    (except for the Dees of course. Whoops. Sorry – ed)
    Yours would be the Earth and all the media gigs and models that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a deadset fucking champion (according to Tony Shaw and Mike Sheehan), my son!

  5. Ken Richards says

    Haven’t the Demons suffered enough? It’ll take 2 years for them to learn Roos’ game plan.

  6. Thanks T Bone.

    I’ll keep banging on about Nick R, although I fear his mantle of the one who cannot ever be criticised and is seen as an all round champ regardless of anything he does on the field or off it is slowly being passed through the Ch 7 corridors to Jobe

    David, player taken before Pav in the draft? Aaron Fiora to the Tigers. Ouch


  7. On Jobe, what happened to him being stripped of his brownlow? He won the fricken thing with a shitload of who knows what in his viens, so shouldn’t that make him ineligable?? Also, I’m pissed that Essendon came 9th and not last. I assmue they were given 9th so that they’d get a higher third round draft pick, and that’s all good and dandy, but I want them copping the indignation as well. Shit, after all they’ve done to screw everyones enjoyment of this season they deserve the spoon (and they derserve it to be shoved you know where.)

  8. T Bone

    The phrase that we need to worry about is “of who knows what in his veins?

    We don’t, and neither does Jobe, hence this stupid situation where the players and Hird feel vindicated, and ASADA don’t know.

    They took something, many things, don’t know what and how much, but of course, it couldn’t be Jobe’s fault, could it. He’s such a top bloke, the rules don’t apply to him they way they apply to, say, Stuart O’Grady, Bulgarian weightlifters or any non-Aussie swimmer who took a Sudafed, who we were quick to crucify


  9. Andrew Starkie says

    So, after all that, Melbourne get the best coach in the. All was worth it.

  10. Andrew Starkie says

    supposed to read: …best coach in the game…

  11. Andrew

    As good as Roos clearly is, I don’t think having a coach take on a role that demanding at a club needing so much work, who wasn’t interested until recently, swayed by the cash and admitted it was impacted by his current employer cutting his pay, to be the fit.

    He’s clearly the best available candidate around in terms of pedigree and ability. But he has to be truly motivated and in for the long haul.

    The Dees have had false dawns and fallen by touting saviours before. I truly hope for the good of their fans and the competition it doesn’t happen again


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