Why Port Adelaide will win the premiership

THE OPTIMISTS’ GUIDE TO SEASON 2012. PART THIRTEEN.

By Alex Wadelton

WHY PORT ADELAIDE WILL WIN THE PREMIERSHIP


In a dramatic development, the Port Adelaide Football Club has started a breakaway Australian Rules Football League that they might have a chance of winning- the Port Adelaide Football League. In the PAFL the Port Adelaide Power and the Port Adelaide Magpies are the only two teams in the competition. These two behemoths are sure to generate a fierce rivalry as they go head to head every week for twenty-two weeks, with a bye midseason for when State of Origin is played between Port Adelaide and Port Adelaide. When September roles around a unique finals system sees the Magpies and Power drawn against each other, with the winner getting a week off, with the loser getting the double chance and living on to play against themselves the week after. Then the winner of that match gets through to the Grand Final where the two best teams of the year will face off in an epic confrontation the rest of Australia won’t know they’re missing out on.
Coaching.
Port Power are primed for premiership prestige by Primus. But, oh, how things could have been different! Chris Scott must be fully spewin’ that he was overlooked for the Power job. Whilst the Cats are languishing with no losses so far this year, the Matthew Primus coached Power are undefeated and flying high. As Yazz and the Plastic Population in the classic 1980s dance hit proclaimed so euphorically, “The only way is up!”

Players to watch.
There is almost no doubting that if Travis Boak had been drafted by Geelong he would be considered one of the game’s pre-eminent players. Sadly for Boak he hasn’t yet had much of an opportunity to shine before the national audience. But with the Power on the up, the reigning best and fairest winner is surely due for some much needed recognition. Seen by most as a future Power captain, he has signed a deal to stay at Alberton that has delivered a much needed shot in the arm for those with arms. For those without arms, he remains a mystery.
John Butcher by name, John Very Good Player With Lots Of Potential by nature. When he came into the league, scouts raved about his contested marking but had doubts over his kicking ability. So far, they have been right about the first part but woefully inaccurate about his accuracy seeing as he has kicked 15 goals 1 behind in his first six games. That’s an astonishing 93.75% clip. To put that in perspective if Buddy Franklin kicked that straight he would have kicked 134 and 9 behinds last year. If we were to extrapolate that to his amazing 2008 season Buddy should have kicked 188.13 instead of 82.61. In summary, what a waste of talent is Lance Franklin.
Jackson Trengove tied with Boak for the John Cahill Medal, which is a fair effort for a twenty-one year old. He also tied with Jack Trengove of Melbourne as the best Jack Trengove in the AFL, which is a fair effort for a twenty-one year old.
Tactics.
The Port Adelaide Football Club “exist to win premierships”. Their plan this year is to follow in that tradition and win the premiership. An interesting tactic, I’m sure you’ll agree.
Prediction.
Port Adelaide will win the PAFL flag by a record margin.

 

Next up: Why Richmond will not finish ninth and win the 2012 premiership by accident.

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