Why North Melbourne will win the premiership

THE OPTIMIST’S GUIDE TO SEASON 2012. PART TWELVE.

By Alex Wadelton

WHY NORTH MELBOURNE WILL WIN THE PREMIERSHIP

Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner. Spirit, Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit… Shinboner Spirit. Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit? Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner. Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner!! Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner, Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner. Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit Shinboner Spirit.

Coaching.

Brad Scott has all the qualities you look for in a great coach. Dogged backline career? Check. Premiership player? Check. Crazy eyes? Check. He also has that other intangible required: Shinboner spirit.

Players to watch.

Jack Ziebell has the potential to be the best player to don a North Melbourne jumper since Wayne Carey. Sadly, of course, The Duck had less of the Shinboner Spirt, and more of the more common garden variety Boner Spirit. Still, Ziebell is the sort of hard-nosed midfielder that can farm the ball out to flashier types. He also looks like Brendon Goddard, and he goes alright too.

If Daniel Wells played for Collingwood, his near death experience would have been one of the most talked about episodes of the off season. After a brilliant year where he started to quiet down all those harsh critics of one of the game’s smoothest movers, Wells discovered blood clots in his lungs that if undetected could well have lead to something much worse than being tagged an underachiever… death. Thankfully, he called on that renowned Shinboner Spirit to pull through. Just by getting back on the field he should prove an inspiration to all his teammates. And if he doesn’t, they clearly don’t understand or appreciate the Shinboner Spirit.

Drew Petrie is, at the moment, North Melbourne’s most important player. Whilst new captain and two-time best and fairest Andrew Swallow shoulders a lot of the midfield load, and Todd Goldstein is on the verge of All Australian stature in the ruck, it is Drew Petrie who has the ability to win games off his own boot. A fantastic contested mark, The Dish came back from career threatening injuries through sheer will power, determined effort and several large helpings of Shinboner Spirit.

Tactics.

Whenever they faced a top four team over the last two years it seemed like someone from North Melbourne would declare that they needed to make a statement. Sadly that statement invariably was “we aren’t very good”. So, to take this head on the Roos have distilled the best qualities of Glenn Archer, Wayne Schimmelbusch, Anthony Stevens and David Dench into a potion that all players will drink before they run out onto the ground. Fittingly it is called Shinboner Spirit.

Prediction.

The Shinboners will use the famous Shinboner Spirit to win the premiershipboner Spirit. Shinboner Spirit.

 

Next up: Why Port Adelaide will win the flag in 2012.

Comments

  1. WHY NORTH MELBOURNE WILL WIN THE PREMIERSHIP?

    What about Shinboner spirit / Shinboner spirit (and Shinboner spirit while we’re at it.)

    Great peice Andrew. Big laugh on the the Wayne Carey garden variety boner line.

  2. Pardon me Alex, sorry for addressing you as Andrew. All that talk of Shinboner spirit can leave you a little foggy

  3. Alex, I’ve heard that The Duck has been asked to front an ad campaign for a US lubricant called Boneshiner Spirit. Any truth?

  4. Andrew Starkie says:

    Alex, big call on Jack, but, i agree, he will be a player. He;s a bit one paced, but he reminds me of a young Buckley with his presence and ball winning ability. He hits in hard – hence his suspension for the first two games – and influences games.

    I like Pederson, he gives us versatility and an x-factor we haven’t had since the golden years.

    Really looking forward to this year – it’s finals or bust. No excuse this season.

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