The Pre-Wrap: The less noise out of Punt Road, the better

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  The Artful Football League tops up its coffers with a tidy little earner from Saturday’s non-contest at THOF and THE TIGERS make an even tidier one from the sale of autographed Jake King Jumper remnants.  Bid big at the auction as it’s tipped that Junk Yard Jake will be back in the Diamond Valley League next season, and like a Pro Hart painting, will rocket in value.

The Collingwood Skipper takes a shot at RICHMOND for going the biffo when they knew the Collingwood players had too much at stake to retaliate.  Fair comment.  RICHO flew the flag from the commentary box, which is his right, and responsibility as a senior player.  However, SOTG would be suggesting that the less noise coming out of PUNT ROAD the better as their season slides from hopeful to pathetic through to disgraceful.

If you think RICHMOND are pariahs, try The Cold Coast Meter Maids.  Hawthorn Premiership Player Luke Hodge has told the recruiters thanks but no thanks and has joined a growing list of eligible players to do so.  So far they have lured one troubled Rugby League/Union star across.  And that cost them a pot of gold.

But he’s not on his Pat.  No one wants to go up there and they’re signing up everywhere as quickly as they can re-fill the Mont Blancs.

Are we the only ones to have noticed the improved performances from The Silvertails?  No, not their actual Football.  We’re talking about their acting performances.  Murphy has always looked like he had a promising career after Football treading the boards.  But now we’ve got The Fev doing it.  Some really top class performances from the ex-Dreadlock in Round XX.  The problem is that they’re on to it around at Maggot Central.  Not good for The Bluebagger cause, but it makes for wonderful theatre when Our Brendan throws the toys out of the cot after being denied a staged free.

The Coaches’ Carousel has a cheerier tune this week as it goes around for the final ride.  Triple Premiership Player and highly regarded coaching prospect Brad Scott has climbed aboard the Bouncing Kangaroo for the ride of his life in the driving seat at Arden Street.

That leaves only – that’s right Nurelle – RICHMOND.  The doof music coming out of Alberton Oval doesn’t seem to have lured Damien Hardnose back to Port and he’s waiting on the final word from TIGERLAND.  You’d have to ask yourself, what the bloody hell are they doing down there in the Deep Woods?

And the mailbox has been full this week.  The main topic has been the Green Round.  The umps were in green, the grass was green, and the pies were green.  Then the Artful Football League tuned on the lights and blew another novelty shop of black balloons into the stratosphere.

Notice Prez Brayshaw has turned up the heat on the AFL?  He’s requesting nine home games at The G and one at Fortress Sooby.  Never mind the Four Points, feel the gate he said.  The Doggies too are bleeding for the Ethical Stadium shareholders and management.  Are we going to see a mass exodus from the Boutique?  Or are just watching some positioning?  The Shinboners have their new facilities up and running, a new tough new coach and one of the best admins going around.  Watch this spaced.

We say farewell to two truly great Servants of The Game and Favourite Sons.  Scottty Lucas leaves us with fond memories of an unsung hero playing in one of the toughest positions on the ground – and at both ends.  He has saved as many games as he has won for The Whingy Hill Bombers.  And talking of saving, if ever a game was saved it would have to have been the 2006 GF.  Yes, that’s right, Leaping Leo Barry has hung up his spring-heeled boots.  For sheer courage Leo has few peers.  Scott & Barry, The Football World salutes you.

Speaking of leapers – Russell Robinson may find himself up with the Gold Coast Lepers the way he’s going.  Maybe not the most acrimonious departure, but certainly not the most harmonious.  No hatred Russell?  Oh really?  That dear Russell couldn’t see it coming may be one of the problems at Melbourne.

And a true Servant of the Club has joined Leaping Leo in the ex-players box.  Jarrod Crouch has hung up the Blood Stained Jumper and hugged his mentor farewell.  Mickey O had a tear in his eye again, but we like that in a man.

Over in the Land of The Great Unwashed Punter’ caution and Kiwi Bill’s deaf ear and blind eye allowed the To & Froms to pass 300.  Their Seth Efrican mercenary won his 4th toss of the Series and chose to bat on what looked to be a runfest wicket.  With the Baggy Greens to bat last, honours appear about even.  Then there’s the Freddie Factor.  Although his effort with the bat was far from auspicious.

But enough of my gabbin’. Let’s see who’s going to be the gun in Round XXI.

The Dogs v The Cats under cover tonight.  The Moggies are resting a few, and why wouldn’t you.  They can’t fall off the 2nd Rung and it’s been a long campaign.  And maybe, just maybe, they’d rather face Footscray than Collingwood in the 1st week of September.  The Bulldogs have regained Higgins & Giansiracusa for this crucial match.  Last week they performed well against a team that, while not up there yet, was trying its heart out in front of its home crowd.  We’re saying that playing a team that isn’t trying will be even easier.  Mrs Wrap says with Mrs Higgins Little Boy Sean in they can’t lose.  That’s right, we feel The Bagmen have got this one terribly wrong.  At $2.30, The Western Bulldogs are The Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Blues v The Redlegs at Unethical Stadium at the traditional time.  This is a no brainer.  The Silvertails are eyeing a Top Four Finish.  The Redlegs have their eye firmly on Back-to-Back Sylvan Shields.  It would be a great joke if The Dees won.  On both clubs.  But it won’t happen.  The Miseries.

The Pride of South Australia v The West Coast Eagles at Crow Park on Saturday Arvo.  The Coasters are playing some good Footy as we enter the home straight.  But so are The Chardonnays.  We’ve been down to Cash Converters and slipped the electric jug and the toaster across till Monday.  At $1.14 The Mighty Adelaide Crows are The Wrap Safe as Houses Investment Opportunity of The Round.

The Lions v The Chokers at The Gabbattoir on Saturday night.  It’s hard to tell if they’re taking things seriously over at Alberton. Oval if you think they’re a mess down at PUNT ROAD I’d suggest you catch the Overland across to the City of Churches and check this mob out.  Boss Voss will have the welcoming committee ready for them and shouldn’t have any trouble holding them to Glorious 9th.  The Lions.  And if Cash Converters had taken the old Victa we found in Nana’s shed we’d be on them too.

RICHMOND v The Hawks at The G on Saturday night.  They’ve finally had enough of Taylor around at Glenferrie Oval and they’ve had to leave out Campbell & Morton.  Around at TIGERLAND, with his coaching career flashing before his eyes, Coach Jade has brought back the ex-Fremantle pair Polak & Simmonds, along with Kelvin Moore White, Silvester and Post.  It looks more like a shuffling of the deck chairs and it’s hard to put much faith in THE TIGERS.  However, The Mustard Pots have hardly impressed this season.  As a tipping proposition you’d have to lean the way of The Mayblooms.  But TLSPRF will be there in numbers and not without some hope.  The Leafblowers, but don’t bet on it.

The Feeling Faints OTR v The Shinboners for the early one at The Dumb on Sunday.  As a sign of the changing of the guard, Luke Ball & the loyal Maxie Hudghton have been omitted.  Frankly we felt Luke had done enough to hold his place but Roscoe must know what he’s doing.  It also speaks volumes for the new Team Ethos at The Culture Club.  Around at Arden Street they’re giving some game time to the kids.  And more strength to their arm fore it.  But The Junction Oval Seagulls will win this on the bit.

Carringbush v Steak & Kidney on The Paddock That Grew at the traditional time on the Sunday.  The Pies feel they have the wood on The Swans and on their present form they would have to start very warm favourites.  However, never underestimate Coach Roos and The Bloods.  They’ve given 1st & 2nd a real fright over the last three weeks and thumped the bejesus out of THE TOOTHLESS ONES.  They’re not without a chance.  Having said that, The Woodsmen have nearly a full complement and have swept all before them since The Squawkers jumped them back in Round XVI.  SOTG will be watching how the two Collingwood giraffes team up and how much extra drive they will give the Magpie Magicians.  They’ll also be watching the performances of Maggots McLaren & McBurney: two controversial whistleblowers tipped to feature in the Late September Action.  As good for Football as it would be, The Pies aren’t about to let this one slip.  Carringbush.

The Barry Crockers v The Mosquito fleet on the balmy Indian Ocean shores late on Sunday.  Dean Solomon conveniently shot himself in the knee rather than be part of any action that would see his old team miss out on September.  The Bombers on the other hand have lost another big man in Ryder and an up and coming defender in Dempsey.  The Dons played above themselves last weekend and will need to do so again if they’re going to play beyond August.  This Playing Group is a credit to Coach Knighter and his charges would walk through fire for him.  Freo would like to win, if only to give their Long Suffering Faithful some glimmer of hope for 2010.  With their season on the line we’re going for The Bombers to be too slick, too fleet of foot and too committed.  And once they break Fremantle’s spirit, to go one and pile up some percentage.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

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About John Mosig

I’m an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it’s my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

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