The Pre-Wrap: A salute to Lloyd for memorable career

For the Philosophical Marngrook Follower

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie. Now here’s some Breaking News.  Lloydy may have played his last game in the Red & Black of Whingy Hill.  The story going around is that Coach Knighter wants him to play further up the ground (about fourth row in the W.H. Cookson Pavilion – Ed) where he can’t get a run at the ball.  If it’s true, we wish him well.  He’s been an Ornament to The Game and Favourite Son of The Club he’s served so admirably.  A Pin Up Boy and Most Hated Opposition Player.  He’s given us much mileage around here at The Wrap as well.  From his salary cap evasion as Hirdy’s Dot Com Twin and Pretty Boy II to The Head Sniper, he’s filled acres of good clean type.  As one of the most fulfilling & memorable Footballers, Matty Lloyd, we salute you.

Over in the City of Churches, The Basket Weavers keep on their merry self destructive way.  Not only will they commence 2010 without the silky Peter Burgoyne, they’ll be without the services of his little nipper Shaun.  Could this be the beginning of the stampede?

It’s been pointed out by locals down along the storm tossed Bass Strait Coast that we may have missed the big story last weekend, that the rookie thrown into the Finals for only his 4th game in the Black&White Verticals was another Gippslander.  Recruited from The Kilcunda Crayfish, Brent Macaffer joins Tyson Goldsack, Dale Thomas and Scott Pendlebury at The Gippsland Magpies.

The Victory are calling it a car park, now the Storm are saying the surface at The Dumb is rock hard.  They should worry. They get their new pitch next season.  We have to play on Collo’s Folly for years to come.

Here’s one from the Old Dart.  Where the England cricket team going to be staying when they tour South Africa?  With their parents of course.  Boom!! Boom!!  Now we can all get some sleep.

Over in the Home of The Brave, Our Kimmie joined the only other two Slam Mums, Our Yvonne and Our Margaret when she took the US Open in straight sets.  But the big news from Arthur Ashe Arena is that Bernard Tomic added the US Open to his Australian Open Junior Title.  We’d never burden him with the Next Llil Lleyton tag, in fact he’s apparently avoiding the Next Llil Lleyton tag like the plague.  Doesn’t want to be seen on the same practice court even.  You really wonder about the rarefied air they breath at those high altitudes don’t you?  Follow that up with his old man’s assertion that he didn’t practice with LL because Bernie has swine flu.  So what does that say about the Tumic camp’s attitude to the other players?  First we had Dagmar Dokic, now John Tumic.  Based on their behaviour, you’d have to ask yourself are boorishness and crassness prerequisites for tennis stardom?

Hey, did you see that the Australian Football Media Association gave Sam a life membership the other night.  And what a worthy winner.  His gracious acceptance speech would have to go a long way to lift his sagging eyelids & profile.  When it comes to puerile sexism, overt racism and unfounded elitism Sam, you have no peer.  Although the selection panel may be now regretting they hadn’t waited until the award could have been made posthumously, to all but the lowest common denominator you have been posthumous for years.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who is going to take one more step to immortality in this  the Penultimate Round for Season 2009.

St Kilda v The Western Bulldogs at THOF tonight.  This could either be a blowout or a tight tussle.  If The Saints strangle the Footscray attack and unleash their full forward potential, it will be a blow out.  They have that ability.  However, The Doggies are nothing if they’re not irrepressible.  More blue healer than bulldog, you never know when they’re going to come at you.  But Rossy Lyon will have his Lads primed for this.  There’s a rumour going around that Wayde Skipper may replace the injured Will Minson.  That will only make things easier for the Iconic Hawthorn Discard Zac Dawson. (And harder for Maxie Hudghton  – Ed)  Fisher on Hahn looks another key position winner.  And we’re tipping Brendan G will make Akka think twice about lining up for another season at the first available opportunity.  In the rucks, Gardiner & King should be too good for Hudson & Minson/Skipper.   Up forward a lot will depend on the most famous Knee since Dickie supported Darryl all those Summers ago.  Kossy & Nasty Milne have been quiet throughout the finals and TLSJOF would love to see them take some pressure off their Captain.  We’re saying they’ll rise to the occasion.  Nevertheless, they’ll have their work cut out.  The Doggies have a class rebounding and defensive backline.  Look, someone has to win, and it may as well be One Flag St Kilda as One Flag Footscray.

Good to see Ray “Mighty Mouse” Chamberlain getting a whistle off against the Garrulous McInerney for Maggot of The Year again.  And the dark horse Maggot McBurney beside them.  The danger in this game is for some of the St Kilda strongmen.  Brendan G and Big Kossy don’t mind mixing it and can look awkward at times.  If The Maggies are out of it, they may wish to drag a few with them.  Rossy will be sure to let The Boys know it’s all about TLSIS and scores are best be settled on the scoreboard.  That’s what it’s there for.

Geelong v Collingwood at you know where on Saturday night.  Doesn’t this one take you back?  Western District Blue Bloods v Blue Collar Collingwood.  There are some unkind members of the Football Public who are saying Collingwood are lucky to be there.  But who reads the Adelaide Advertiser anyway?  But they are lucky in a way, lucky Adelaide went back into their shell for half a game last week.  This Cat Combination is purring at the moment and you could count the positions in which Collingwood are going to win on the fingers of one hand.  (Two hands if you count the missionary position – Ed) It’s difficult to see where The Pies are going to win.  This Geelong side is all class.  The Maggies their share of it too, but they rely on GAD for much of their inspiration.  A noble and match winning ingredient, but strength & class do matter.  Scarlett & Taylor on Cloke & Anthony has to go to The Pussies.  Mackie, Harley, Milburn, Enright – same again.  SOTG will be watching the Big Tomahawk against a seasoned defender in Presti.  His form a fortnight ago was Buddy Awesome.  If he has arrived, lookout Collingwood.  And look out St Kilda.  Maxwell and Mooney could go either way, and if the Big Hairy Cat can swing into his game he can swing a match.  The Handbags lift when he’s in full cry.  Pendlebury & Johnson both come into the match under an injury cloud.  And take a goosy gander at the following division – Ottens v Wood & Blake v Brown.  You’d have to give that to The Pivotonians too.  Dare we mention Ablett, Selwood, Chapman and Ling?  Swan & Didak will be outnumbered 2:1.  Davis may find himself longing foer the anonymity of the HFF before the night is out and Dick & Thomas are boundary riders at best.  Good ones, but not game breakers.  Last week it was The Woodsmen’s young players who became men when they pulled on the Black&White Verticals.  They’ll need to repeat their performance again this week to prevent outing becoming a massacre.  You guessed it, we’re still not convinced about Collingwood.  As the Late Great Living Legend Captain Blood would say, they’re a very good ordinary side.   St Kilda & Footscray will be hoping for a Magpie Victroy, but it’s not going to happen.  There’ll be no Collywobbles, but in the end, The Hoopers will win convincingly.

Good tipping and even better punting

And remember, if you read it in The Warp you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I’m an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it’s my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

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