THE PRE WRAP – ROUND XX

FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN

What a fortnight it’s been in Footy Eddie.  We’re not boastful by nature around here in The Wrapcave, but let us take you back to our pre-season call for the Coach most likely: This year the Deathly Dirge of the Coaches’ Carousel will be wafting down from Mt Lofty and along the Rundle Mall.  Yes coach Craig, it sounds for you.  I hope you were on it.  Last year we made the call for this year’s runner-up, Dean Bailey won’t you please go home.  The poor bugger was stuck with the barely discernable pulses of a Playing Group that was mooted to have Hearts That Beat True For The Red & The Blue.  Not to mention a schizophrenic & toxic administration.  We had Rocket on the 2nd line along with Whooser.  At least one of those is still very much alive.

But isn’t it good when it’s not your Club imploding?  And implode The Dees will.  For those who can cast a living memory back to the days the Long Room Mob hung The Late Norm Smith – yes Nurelle, that Norm Smith – out to dry at the end of their Old School Ties, the shenanigans at Melbourne won’t come as a shock.  It was a defeat at the hands of Richmond – a Richmond on the way to a golden era, but scorned for coming from the wrong side of the river – that triggered Smith’s sacking.  A much younger Wrap sat on the wing in Bay 13 as Swoops Northey, with nine majors, outscored the Demons off his own boot.  And believe you me – there’s a lot more water to flow down to Hobsons Bay before this wreck is scuppered to the bottom of Port Phillip Bay.  Along with a few reputations.

The only question remaining is a straightforward one.  And it’s about that question.  Was it a Dorothy Dixer or did it come out of the blue and Dean Bailey just answered it honestly off the cuff, albeit a little too honestly for some.

And The Fevola Medal.  Observe the following: Old Chicken Lips is going to take some beating and is the clear clubhouse leader at this stage.  We’re sticking with Chicken Lips, because it just can’t get any sleazier, but a betting scandal strikes at the very roots of THE GAME, and would certainly over ride a bit of sex & drugs.  Not sure that we’ve had a betting scandal.  A betting farce, sure.  But a $10 wager down at the TAB hardly ranks with John The Bookmaker and thrown test matches.  But then Maggotgate hasn’t been exposed yet.  (Then there’s tanking Wrap.  Is tanking match fixing? – Ed)

And while we’re on a roll, Gary Ablett Jnr will poll a record number of 2nd votes in this year’s Brownlow count.  Enough to win?  How many games did he play in?  Better get him in your trifecta.

The mailbag has been busy this week.  Here’s one from someone who has been following Collingwood for 70 years in the hope of celebrating Back-to-Back Black&White Flags.  He points out that –

1 – Melbourne cannot play football

2 – North Melbourne cannot draw a crowd

Get rid of both of them and if the AFL want to expand the game into Queensland and NSW they need to have more teams up there than losers down here.  Also if they are going to pay North to play in Hobart why not put the money into starting a Tasmanian team and all those players will stay there instead of coming to Melbourne. e.g. Ian Stewart, Royce Hart, Peter Hudson, , Graeme Wright, Daryl Baldock etc.  This would mean that a lot of young players could stay in their own state and it would be a better game.

PS – There would still be a lot of young blokes who would want to come to Vic just to play for the Pies.

Our Carringbush correspondent left out one or three outstanding representatives of the Apple Isle.  In fact at one time the spine of The Big White V was made up of Vandemonians.  Verdun Howell, Barry Lawrence, Ian Stewart, Royce Hart and Peter Hudson.  They played The Doc on the flank that year.

How many of us shared Cadel’s emotional choke after the time trials as he accepted the flowers and souvenir on the podium?  How many found the screen going blurry as he wore the Coveted Yellow Jersey down Le Avenue des Champs-Élysées?  Even if you’re not into extreme M&S sport you’d have to have been moved by his efforts to win an event that eluded even such Aussie Greats as Russell Mockridge and Hubert Opperman. And like Molly told him, he doesn’t do drugs.  Cadel Evans, the Pride of Barwon Heads, the quintessential Aussie kid wanting his rightful 21 days of fame, we salute you.

Aren’t you glad Our Great Game is not international?  Not international and burdened with the likes of Sepp Blatter, Bernie Ecclestone and Sharad Pawar.  When you consider the list we might have got off lightly with Andreas Demetriou don’t you think?  Although the AFLPA may not think so.  But let’s not give up on the Ayatollah just yet.  It would be un-Australian to even hint   that our boy can’t match it with all the above put together.  Just give him time.  You wait till he’s finished with the AFLPA before you consign him to a minor player in the Pantheon of Sporting Administration Tyrants.  Setting up the two new basket cases may lift his profile in the Rogues’ Gallery somewhat.  If the Suns’ poaching of poor old Adelaide’s Nathan Bock wasn’t enough, now The West Sydney Inventions have headhunted his replacement.  And you watch the unseemly brawl over the carcass of The Redlegs’ Disenchanted List.  This won’t worry the Ayatollah, but it’s going to piss off The Redleg Faithful no end.

BTW, if the Ayatollah and Angry Adrian want to know what a player strike would look like, just view the tapes of the Geelong v Melbourne match.

Mrs Wrap nearly choked on her corn flakes the other morning when it was reported that Eddie had dared anyone to approach the former Carringbush coach.  “Anyone who pursues Mick Malthouse for their coach next year will hit legal and moral implications”.  Moral implications!  Look, we’re the first to admit that our memory’s not as sharp as it used to be, so to save us looking it up, can anyone tell us off the top of their head who was in the Oval Office when the Carringbush Coach in Waiting stood out of football for 12 months after being drafted by then lowly Brisbane, so he could play for the pile of 30 pieces of silver Carringbush had offered him as a free agent the next season?  And weren’t they deep into negotiations with their present coach while he was still contracted to West Coast?  No doubt about it; you could lay London to a brick on it; no matter how many times you tap it and shake it, the moral compass at the Lexus Centre always swings to the Yarra Falls End.

And how many of us out there believe The Demons didn’t tank to collect priority draft picks?  Apart from Angry Adrian, Sepp Demetriou and Kevin Barlettt that is.  Fair dinkum, what’s it matter?  Who, when the opportunity has presented itself, hasn’t played for The Coveted Sylvan Shield?  If we all do it it’s fair to all, eh?  Besides, can anyone show us in the rules where it says you’re not allowed to cheat?

And just to show that there’s no standing on sentiment out there at Whingy Hill they’re getting ready to dump the Bendigo Bombers.  The same Bendigo Bombers that gave them Matty Knights.  (There’s no sentiment where revenge is at stake Wrap – Ed)

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be bathed in plenty after Round XX.

St Kilda v Freo at Ethelred stadium to open proceedings.  The Dockers were stiff to lose The Derby, but were well and truly jumped and dumped by The Hawkers.  Both losses at home; both matches they would have had positive thoughts about.  The dint to their Self Belief will be sorely felt.  They’re up against The Culture Club that has finally pulled its socks up, extracted the digit, put its shoulder to the wheel and nose to the grindstone.  (All in the one motion Wrap? – Ed)  With St Riewoldt BIT and Nasty Milne on fire we can’t see The Barry Crockers preventing their 3rd loss on the trot.  And it must be said, their run home isn’t looking all that comfortable.  The Feeling Faints, and watch the performance of maggot Rosebury; he’s making a solid late run for the Beitzel and is sure to be authoritarian & inconsistent.

The Moggies v The Metermaids at The Cattery early tomorrow.  Geelong will know they’re not playing Melbourne when the ball goes down at 1.40.  If only by the fact that their opponents tomorrow will throw a shadow.  But it won’t affect the outcome.  The Sleepy Hollow Millionaires.

The Blues v The Fuchsias on The Ground That Once Belonged To The People.  The Demons OTR?  Are you kidding.  Even a fit Gary Lyon wouldn’t make a difference here.  Sure, they’ll have a dip, but it will only be a skinny dip.  The Melbourne Playing List were on strike last weekend, and nothing’s been resolved since then.  In fact the situation is even less to their liking after their Beloved Coach was lined up against the wall.  Sure, there’ll be the embarrassment element, but The Rattzbaggers will have factored that in.  The Silvertails comfortably.

Essendon v Sydney under cover on Saturday for the early one.  This is a must win for The Beleaguered Bombers if the are to avoid Glorious Ninth.  They have their Skipper back at the Centre Bounce, but have dropped the hapless Bellchambers again.  The Lakers are playing Bloods’ Football and look too accomplished for The Injury Ravaged Dons.  Steak & Kidney.

The Shadow of Their Former Selves Magpies v The Mighty Magpies at New Arctic Park.  Purists will be following this one with a certain amount of interest – possibly the last clash between these two combatants at Footy Park.  Apart from that it’s how far The Mighties.  Carringbush easily.

Brissy v The Pride of South Australia under the palms early on Sunday.  The Bad News Bears have been on the verge for a number of weeks.  The Chardonnays have been at the abyss all season.  We’re going for The Maroons in this one, and with bourses around the globe in freefall, the $1.65 on offer from The Bagmen looks as juicy as we’re going to see for some time.   The Boys From Old Fitzroy.

The Mayblooms v The Shinboners down in Lonny on Sunday at the traditional time.  The Boners have been thereabouts all season, but tend to drift off to sleep at crucial moments.  They gave The Miseries a fright last weekend, but this Hawthorn Outfit doesn’t scare easily.  To catch the clash between Petrie & Gibson it would be worth deckying down to Beauty Point on a crayboat and catching the bus up to Lonny.  The 1st ruck of Goldstein & Swallow also looks competitive, but after that The Mustard Pots look to have The Norsemen covered.  The Leafblowers, and if you want to pile on the ciggies’ money it should be safer than the banks at the moment.

West Coast v the Tigers at Patersons Curse to close off the round.  The Wasps have not fulfilled the promise they showed toward the end of last season and TLSPRF won’t be holding their breath in any hope of a miracle in this, the toughest road trip of them all.  Thursfield’s job will be made easier by the continued absence of Josh Kennedy, but Natinui’s inclusion nullifies that.  At $1.08 this is the one for the rent money.  The Weagles.

This week it’s Bulldogs who have been impounded.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

Despite the efforts of the World’s Finest Financial Wizards the GFC continues to roll along at its own inexorable pace.  We thought the words of Edgar Hoover from May 1930 may be of comfort.

While the Crash only took place six months ago, I am convince we have now passed the worst and with continues unity of effort we shall rapidly recover.

For followers of history, the world was still in recession at the start of WWII.

Which begs the straightened from George Santayana

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it

Please note – There’s sure to be a boilover this round, but we can’t see it.  Consequently there’s no Wrap Roughie of The Round for Round XX

 

 

About John Mosig

I’m an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it’s my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

Comments

  1. John Butler says:

    Welcome back TW

    Look what happens when you go away. :)

  2. Richard Naco says:

    Quote:

    “1 – Melbourne cannot play football

    2 – North Melbourne cannot draw a crowd”

    Add:

    “3 – Port Adelaide can not run a piss up in a brewery, let alone an AFL club. So why maintain the vanity?

    4 – Tasmania deserves its own team – one with its heart and soul totally based in and dedicated to a state which has been a heartland for the indigenous game for so long (as opposed to the fly-by-nighters which now ply their trade there at both ends of the isle from next year on). That heartland deserves to hear the living breathing beat of the game from far closer than across the gale-swept moat that is Bass Strait.”

    (Another name for your list of Tasmanian products: Richo – two generations of.)

    My transmigration of the soul (day trip version) tomorrow notwithstanding, this is a round for the heart rather than the head. And I completely concur that the roughies of the week will boil down to how much rather than who.

  3. John Mosig says:

    The Gale Brothers – Benny & Mickey – were Taswegians too. Paul Sproule – Essendon & Richmond. Ray & Jervis Stokes crossed the Pond to play for The Tiges in the 50s. The mercurial Brent Croswell was recruited from Campbell Town. Not to be confused with Daryn Cresswell who played up in Sydney. Collingwood folk hero John Greening was from the Apple Isle. Tassie Bob Johnson, from the era when full forwards were heroes and full backs were villains, played in 3 Demon Flags under Norm Smith during the last Demon revival. There’d have to be heaps more. How many have we missed do you reckon RN?

    And hey, I’m forgetting Disco Roach. Now there’s a Tasmanian. Could he take a hanger or could he take a hanger? They say he learnt his skill watch gannets stalk a school of mackerel..

    Maybe they can transfer Port Adelaide to Darwin and give them the NT as their exclusive recruiting base. Now that would see a different style of football develop.

  4. Great wrap, Wrap.

    I’m on to you – had a red wine with Frank Levy the other day.

  5. Andrew Fithall says:

    Collingwood 1990 premiership players Graham Wright and Doug Barwick.

    Mr Wrap. Good to have you back. Loved the line:

    Geelong will know they’re not playing Melbourne when the ball goes down at 1.40. If only by the fact that their opponents tomorrow will throw a shadow.

    I laughed.

  6. John Mosig says:

    He said he ran into you the other day. You disappointment me with the company you keep Dips. You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses ……..

    I’d forgotten those two Andy. We might have a Vandemonian Team of The Century come up here, eh?

  7. Craig Davis from Ross – cousin of Brent Croswell, but aren’t they all cousins in Tassie?

  8. John Mosig says:

    Good point Mark. We’ll slip him in on the opposite flank to The Doc. I think we’ll come up with the Greatest Team of The Century of All Time by the time we’ve finished.

    Spine from the back – V. Howell, B. Lawrence, I. Stewart, R. Hart, P. Hudson.

    HF line D. Baldock, R. Hart, C. Davis

    Centre line D. Barwick, I. Stewart, G. Wright

    1st Ruck P. Jones, B. Crosswell,

    Anyone got any more?.

  9. Skip of Skipton says:

    N.Riewoldt is a Taswegian by birth and blood. As is Cousin Jack.

  10. Richard Naco says:

    But “… aren’t they all cousins in Tasmania”. (Except, possibly, Ben.)

    It’d be a good excuse to finally have a team in a green uniform playing in the AFL, if nothing else.

    Time for me to have an early night.

    Big … apologies; that should read: BIG … day tomorrow.

  11. Dinahcat says:

    Richard, do hope you have a fulfilling day tomorrow in your maiden trek to the Cattery.
    I took two newbies from OS last week, what a marvellous intro to our game!
    May the Cats (in particular SJ) turn it on again! A total eclipse coming up?

  12. John Mosig says:

    St Nick a Taswegian – hadn’t thought of that. He’ll have to go in the ruck. We can’t shift the Greatest CHF Ever.

    Can The Moggies top the double ton for two weeks in a row? What’s the collective memory like out there? Did The Swans under Tommy, with Warwick in short shorts, just miss out topping 200 points three weeks on end?

  13. Skip of Skipton says:

    John M. You are correct about the Swans in ’87. If the Cats are switched on like last week then I can’t see how they won’t crack the double ton again.

    Don’t know about D.Barwick on a wing, he was a genuine forward flanker. R.Eade(Sandy Bay) or D.Pritchard(Sandy Bay) both multi-premier wingmen at Hawthorn.

  14. John Mosig says:
    August 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm
    Good point Mark. We’ll slip him in on the opposite flank to The Doc. I think we’ll come up with the Greatest Team of The Century of All Time by the time we’ve finished.

    Spine from the back – V. Howell, B. Lawrence, I. Stewart, R. Hart, P. Hudson.

    HF line D. Baldock, R. Hart, C. Davis

    Centre line D. Barwick, I. Stewart, G. Wright

    1st Ruck P. Jones, B. Crosswell,

    Anyone got any more?.

    A Lynch C Robertson C Bond ‘Scratcher’ Neale, S Atkins: all from Wynyard Football Club. Lynch was quite handy.

  15. Richard Naco says:

    Dinahcat (et al):

    Thank you. It was a sensational day, although my wife told me that I looked like death warmed up when she collected me from Sydney airport at 10:15pm (I’d been up since 2:15 am, and had been away for almost 18 hours by that time). I also badly needed a shower by then as well, because I’d dressed for the the predicated cold wet weather instead of the gloriously warm sunny day that had been Geelong’s that day.

    Kardinia Park is absolutely the best place to watch footy in my experience. The bond between the players and fans is obvious & very very strong, and I was fortunate enough to blunder on to it from the players’ arriving at the ground (where they willingly mix with all who seek them). A bloke who travels down from Albury for every home game simply described as “community”, and he was spot on. The Cats are just so much more than just a footy club or a (sudder) sports entertainment franchise. The atmosphere in and around the ground was amazing, the sight lines great, and the only downside of the stadium (imo) is the dodgy graphics on the big screen (which I found largely illegible). The infamous lights were not required, even during the inevitable eclipse.

    I was rapt with the respect shown to Bruce’s little mate by the crowd, and with Gaz himself for coming out on his own during the fourth quarter of the VFL game and making himself accessible to fans of both clubs in the GA area (mind you, the ground was only 10% full at that time).

    It was the first time that I’ve been to any footy game where the number of people in the visiting club’s colours on the paddock outnumbered those in the stands. It was very much a universal navy & white dress code, and the total and utter silence after each of the Suns’ goals was eerie (but also deafeningly articulate). I was also amazed at how the entire crowd in my Bay (beside the Cat’s bench) all seemed to know each other, greeting and farewelling literally everybody by name. It appeared that I was the sole exception, the social pariah (and I don’t really need a logical explanation of the social dynamics).

    The City of Geelong surprised me. I was expecting something far dowdier & down at heel, but it was quite enchanting & amazingly clean (there was absolutely no litter). The age and heritage of the place is very visible down Moorabool Street (especially), but the older buildings all seemed to be in very good states of repair. There are some very decent places to get food as well, although I couldn’t find an apple cake for love or money (I always have one during visits to Melbourne to the point where my son thinks it’s seriously breaking tradition if I don’t, and they are not available anywhere here in Sydney).

    I walked a long way that day, including out and around the inner suburbs, but I spent pretty much the whole day on my lonesome. Funnily enough, while it was only while waiting at Avalon to fly home that I actually got to sahring the passion by talking with a fellow Catter. This bloke was from Sydney as well – a former son of The Pivot – and he had flown down in my flight that morning. There were quite a few Blues’ fans who also did the one day trip, including one who transitted via Avalon rather than Tullamarine. Needless to say, he appeared quite content by the night flight north.

    Twelve hours in a place gives me no authority whatsoever to make any judgements on the place or its people, but I would very much like to revisit Geelong for its own sake. Undertaking a future pilgrimage to once more immerse myself in the total Cats’ experience is a given.

  16. Skip of Skipton says:

    Good on you Richard Naco. Daubed in blue and white face paint you pilgrim. Yes, Geelong isn’t the shithole that those from the big shithole credit it to be, yet it isn’t far off.

    I reckon we organise a real devotional sabatatical to the holy city next year. None of this FIFO which displeases the womenfolk, but a fair dinkum liver and kidney thrashing pilgrimage of three days or such.

  17. I enjoyed reading of your exploits, Richard. Sounds like you embraced the whole tribal experience at KP. Poles apart from how I found Subi, where you thumbs up the dozen or so other Catpeople you may meet!

    Maybe a gathering of Catters next time you venture south….a Clowder?

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