THE PRE WRAP – ROUND XVI

FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN

 

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  In the Ayatollah’s absence Angry Adrian has grown another leg.  (Or at least a foot – Ed)  He’s flagged the banning of the Slam Dunk.  And when you see Melbourne’s Trengove applying it you can see the merit in the move.

They blood’s starting to ooze again down at The Culture Club.  When will they ever learn?  Those old wounds are never going to heal as long as they keep picking at the scabs.

And their woes don’t end there.  The Iconic Zac Dawson, along with a raft of players that includes Sam Gilbert, Raff Clark, Farren Ray, Dean Polo, David Armitage, Andy McQualter and, yes, Justin Koschitzke.  The Old Kossy’s up for grabs.  Should be an interesting trade table down at Moorabbin come season’s end, eh?  A pile of mediocrity isn’t a pretty sight.

Who said soccer was a man’s game?  (Women’s soccer is the fastest growing sport in Australia, growing at the rate of 6-8% annually Wrap – Ed)  Certainly not The Matildas?  And have they waltzed into everyone’s hearts over in Deutschland?  Kyah Simon slammed home a double header, the 2nd at the death, to upset The Icebergers and move into the Quarterfinals in the Sheila’s Soccer World Cup. (Haven’t you got a cat called Kyah Wap? – Ed)  The Tillies take on The Turnips at nine on Sunday night if you want to catch Les Murray’s unbiased call.

Speaking of Uncle Les, hasn’t some of the tarnish of Frank Lowy’s ill-fated, taxpayer-funded $34m World Cup bid rubbed off on him in a big way?  Hopefully we haven’t heard the last of this.  Don’t you just love it when the World Game runs up its true colours?

All eyes are on the peloton over where the cheese is as aromatic as it is gooey.  Our Cadel is tipped to go that one better this time around and if you don’t believe in the Cycling Gods by now you’ve got a mind like a steel trap.  Once more El Contador was felled in one of those domino crashes that have plagued this year’s event.  But Our Man Cadel has finally found himself in a team that can look after him and it makes you wonder how many Yellow Jersey he could have hanging in the Poolroom by now if he’d had the right sort of support earlier in his career.  But that’s only conjecture.  We’ve got to get him over the line this time around.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be mean & lean after Round XVI.

The Coasters v The Cattters over on the trailing edge of The Fatal Shore to open proceedings.  Still heading the Table by dint of the number of games they’ve played, The Handbags slip aboard the Indian Pacific to meet this season’s Big Improvers.  Corey, Varcoe & Hunt replace Mackie, Gillies & Brown.  The Weagles have lost Big Lynch from the goalsquare but have replaced him with Big Natt.  Something more to occupy The Full Back of The Last Decade.  And they’ll miss the cool marking and ball reading skills of A. Mackie.  Then there’s Long Tom Lonergan on La Cras.  Down the other end Glass is in career best form.  His dual with the jPod will be worth hitching across on the mail truck to catch, and could well hold the key to this one.  Poddsy had more than one chance to sink Bambi’s Brave Bombers last week.  He only needed one shot to wobble true and The Dons would have come home with an Honourable Loss.  Cox, Selwood & Kerr v Ottens, Ling & Corey?  The aforesaid.  However, to balance that The Moggies look more dangerous across half forward.  Except for Kennedy.  Consider the psychological elements of this one.  The Weagles are at home but are coming off the bye.  The Tabbies have to travel and are coming off a loss, albeit a narrow one.  Look, it’s our studied view that The Bagmen have erred in this one.  We feel the whole is greater than the sum of the parts over on Paterson Fields.  Steak & Kidney beat them by just over a couple of goals over there early in the season, before they’d settled down.  The presence of Lynch will be missed but The Geelong Backline is looking a bit undermanned.  The inclusion of Hunt will stiffen it but we’re still going for the Homeside.  And at $2.05 they just scrape in for Roughie of The Round status.

The Hawkers v Brissy down on the Apple Isle at the Traditional Time.  Ellis is back for The Mayblooms and Milne has been recalled.  Chance and Lisle are out with injuries.  Hawksley & Banfield have replaced Bewick & Golby in The Visitors’ line-up.  The Maroons were as gallant last week as the Mustard Pots were abysmal.  As soon as he knocked off work, Jeff would have been at training on Tuesday & Thursday nights.  The sight of that GoldenBrown apparition moving amongst the gloom of the stock-broker Georgian high-rises of Waverly will have spurred The Hawks this week.  After last week’s call on The Cats we’re reluctant to suggest the rent money, but giving up the weed won’t hurt you if The Mayblooms implode.  At $1.08 they look better than the banks at the moment.  Hawthorn.

The Metermaids v The Bloods at Metricon tomorrow night.  The Tinseltowners have responded savagely to reverse their slump over the three rounds, although one of those was a straight kick loss to TRP.  The Homeside has also made some changes, including the return of Rischitelli.  They ran with Freo for half a game last week and they’re getting better with each passing round.  Little Gazza is set for his 2nd Brownlow and The Bagmen have them out at $5.    Now that’s a real roughie.  And not one without a real chance.  They have inherited Llil Lleyton’s fanatics for the winter season and won the hearts of the Whole Football World with their courage, enthusiasm for The Game, their electrifying talents, and let’s not forget their downright comic antics.  In the boilover of the round – and even if they do blow their chances for The Coveted Timber Trophy – we give you The Wrap Roughie of The Round – The Gold Coast Suns.

Bambi’s Bombers v The Endangered Species on The Paddock That Grew for a Saturday night extravaganza.  The Tiges jumped the Bomboras the last time they met back in the Dreamtime Match.  The Dons snapped a five game losing streak last round when they took one of The Cats nine lives for season 2011.  They’ve brought Dyson in to replace last week’s hero Welsh, whom you’ll remember did a hammy halfway through last Saturday’s match.  I’m afraid The Tigers look too unsettled to catch The Gliders unawares in this one.  They just don’t seem to be going on with the job in the 2nd half of the season.  Jack’s been quiet and he won’t get any respite from Scragger Fletcher.  They can’t get their ruck settled and have robbed CHF to fill the gap left by the injured Brown.  Last year’s ruck hope Angus Graham is still in the Selectors’ bad books.  The Dons on the other hand turned in a studied display of Our Great Game to snatch the match away from The Hugely Fancied Handbags in the early stanzas, then held out for not only a Famous Victory but a Meritorious Win.  The Long Suffering Struggletown Faithful need not abandon all hope for this one, and Punters should keep their hands in their pockets.  Richmond have the players to turn their season around as unexpectedly as The Marshmallows did last weekend.  The wood box around at Chez Wrap will be loaded with Mallee roots from the Harp Woodyard and the Loungeroom will be decked out in the Yellow&Black of Tigerland but we’ll be tipping Essendon for the office competition.

Carringbush v The Shinboners at Victoria Park for the early one on Sunday.  Grima & McKinley have forfeited their place after The Roos’ loss to The Saints last week.  The Maggies have lost the best full forward to come out of Brighton Grammar since Warwick Capper.  One of the best halfbacks in the caper has been shifted back into attack to cover the loss.  Look, after what The Woodsmen did to The Squawkers last week it’s hard to see North making a game of this.  Don’t know about The Sweep.  That will probably come out of the match under cover later in the day, but you can ink in The Pies for the win.

Port Power v The Culture Club in the Shadows of Mt Lofty on Sunday arvo.  The Feeling Faints should win, but you never know with them do you?  Schulz nearly got The Tealers over the line against Brissy at The Gabba, but they choked when it counted.  And if any team can choke the life out of a game of Football it’s St Kilda.  They look juicy at $1.25 too, but you can never trust Port.  Keep your hands in your pockets but go for The Sainters in the staffroom tipping competition.

The Scrays v The Blues under cover in the gloom to close off round XVI.  The Doggies put one together at last when they dismantled Melbourne last week.  The Silvertails did an even bigger demolition job on The Tigers.  As impressive as The Tricolours looked, The Miseries have the form and consistency.  Juddy’s searching for his 3rd Brownlow and Waite & Kreuzer, flanked by Garlett & Fast Eddie give Carlton an avenue to goal denied The Homeside.  True, Bulldog Barry will be too big a handful for Thornton, but The Blues’ defence is solid all round.  And there’s always Scotland to call on should it require stiffening.  It’s the RattBaggers for us.  Too tall, too skilled all over and veritably oozing Self Belief.  They’ll need to remember they’re not playing Richmond this week, but they should be professional enough to remember that.

 

This week it’s The Stevedores, The Crows & The Fuchsias who have the rest.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

 

With the Matilda’s in the spotlight, and The Opals, The Diamonds, The Southern Stars and The Hockeyroos always close to contention on the Global scene, we have to wonder how much we owe Dame Germaine don’t we?  Where would the sheilas be without the prophetic words of one of our greatest exports.

Yet if a woman never lets herself go, how will she ever know how far she might have got?  If she never takes off her high-heeled shoes, how will she ever know how far she could walk or how fast she could run?

And just to show what sort of load The Tillies carry into Sunday’s game against Sweden, let’s consider the words of Christabel Pankhurst –

We are here to claim our rights as women, not only to be free, but to fight for freedom. It is our privilege, as well as our pride and our joy, to take some part in this militant movement, which, as we believe, means the regeneration of all humanity.

Phew!!  Heady stuff.  We lean more towards more earthy feminism here in Wrapland.   Try this one.  The ‘fastest woman in the world’ at the 1960 Olympics where she won three gold medals, was Wilma Rudolph.  She wore metal braces on her legs as a child.  She was respected and loved wherever she went and by whomever met her.  This is one of hers –

My doctors told me I would never walk again.  My mother told me I would.  I believed my mother.

But our favourite women in sport quote comes from our own Cathy Freeman.  When France’s Marie-José Pérec told the media Cathy was scared to meet her in the 200m of the 1997 World Athletic Championship in Greece she said –

I’m only frightened of one person in this world, and my mother’s not running in Athens.

Weeze luvz ya Cathy

 

About John Mosig

I’m an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it’s my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

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