THE PRE WRAP – ROUND XIV lite

FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  Just to prove that a week’s a long time in Footy, Footscray have a new full forward and Jana Drama, in a publicity coup reportedly underwritten by the Appalling Football League to the tune of $1.8m over two years, has been signed up for the Gold Coast to do the banner run-throughs.

Never mind the hair flicking, over in Seth Freaking Afrika the World Football Blatter continues to go down the septic.  With the whole world watching, FIFA refuses to seek technical help to solve incorrect goal calls that are clearly obvious to the naked eye.  The question has to be asked, do you want this game in your country?

And are we the only ones confused by how it comes to your country?  ‘World Cup Money Trail: Lobbyists to Make Millions” bellows Melbourne’s Righteous Morning Broadsheet.  The Football Federation of Australia chief executive Ben Buckley assured us the Association’s completely transparent in its dealings with government, which we are sure they it is, but when he tells us that “it is widely accepted, common practice among governments, many businesses and sporting organisations to provide symbolic gifts to visiting international delegates” you start to wonder if he has a firm grip on the handle.  Isn’t using lobbyists to secure contracts and providing symbolic gifts what got the RBA note printing branch into trouble?

Attn Hutchy, Quarters & Co – let’s settle this draw thing once and for all.  What’s wrong with a draw?  Did anyone catch the Kiwis celebrating their drawn game over in SFA?  They were over the moon.  You’d think they’d just won the Cup.   Now if that doesn’t get you wondering which code is the code for your kids, nothing will.

What’s all the kerfuffle about Judd not even getting a reprimand but Steven Baker getting whatever weeks for the same offence?  And Jack Riewoldt’s playful attack on Tayte Pears injured arm being ignored while Baker gets cumulative time.  If the Star Chamber at Jellymont House stands for anything it stands for inconsistency.  And if anyone expected the invertebrates running the show to display common sense, fairness and human dignity they should take a good long cold shower and a start a course of reality pills.

While we’re on attacking a player’s injury, if he’s on the field of play isn’t it reasonable to consider that he might find himself risking contact to the injured part of his body during the course of play in what is after all, a collision sport?  It’s not like Johnson or Pears were in the hands of the trainers at the time of the incidents.

But isn’t the role of Maggot Central implicit in all this?  Prepared to hand out 50m penalties at the slightest sign of player frustration or an infringement of a couple of centimetres over the mark, they are able to ignore something as unedifying and blatant as taggers mauling star players out of the game.  And let it be said, it’s going to cost someone a flag one day.  (It may already have – Ed)  This could have and should have been nipped in the bud some time ago.  One free kick would have done it.  That the Culture Club, and let’s be honest here, in one of its more cultural moments, have to deal with this as well may be poetic for the keepers of the annals of OGG, but TLSJOF certainly don’t deserve this added angst.

We’re not sure about Coach Knighta’s call for another field umpire to keep an eye on off the ball incidents.  Isn’t that the job of the two non-adjudicating maggots?  They may not have unleashed the windsock as much as they thought they had out there at Whingy Hill.

And it has to be asked, has the deathly dirge of the Coaches’ Carousel been drowned out by all the razzmatazz?

But enough of my gabbin.  We’ve only covering the one match in this lite edition, so let’s see who it’s going to be – The Bluebaggers or The Maroons?

The Silvertails v The Boys from Old Fitzroy.  The rumour mill has it that Brown is out with a busted hand and Fevola is out with a busted jaw after the Bad Brendan turned up to a club social function and Jonathon did what captains do – took control of the situation in the old fashioned way.   But even going along with the official version, the Bears trot out tonight without their two key forwards.  They’ve made multiple changes, as have their opponents, who it must be said, have been equally disappointing this season.  The return of O’hAilpin & Murphy should do it for The Miseries.  Sure, they’ll miss The Kreuzer but with the Three Mousketeers in the forward line they’ll kick a bagful.  Sorry Roy Boys & Girls, it’s the Bluebaggers, and at $1.25 represent some real value.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in the Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I’m an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it’s my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

Leave a Comment

*