THE PRE WRAP – ROUND X

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  Since we last spoke Carlton, like an English summer, have been and gone.  And like an English summer, you had you get up early to catch it.  The Fuchsias snuck in BTNPM against The Chokers and are knocking on Heaven’s Door at 9th.  Over in the City of Churches they’re Crowing once more along Rundle Mall..

But what a long time a week can be in Football.  Never mind no Ablett, no Geelong.  Matty Scarlett, as aptly demonstrated earlier this season, is the backbone of The Cat’s defence.  And you thought they looked shaky enough without Tom Harley, eh?

Meanwhile down at Glenferrie Oval the heat in the kitchen builds to unbearable levels.  It is rumoured that Jason Dunstal, with 1,254 goals to his credit, is uncertain about his future rôle in the Football Department and on the Committee.  Jeff has said he is 100% behind the Club Legend, however he also hinted at the need to get one or two new faces on board.  On field, off field; take your pick, they’re playing Unsociable Football at the Family Club.

The invertebrates around at Jellymont House covered themselves in glory for once when they fined Bulldog Barry for his defensive headlock on Scotty Thompson.  Justice was not only done, but justice was seen to be done.  Now to see if The Geech has instructed the maggots to protect Bazza and keep an eye on Scotty.

Speaking of The Geech, anyone else notice that Triple Beitzel Medal Winner Scott McLaren can’t get  a major gig since his return from exile?  (For those who came in late, he awarded a potentially match losing free against Essendon’s Slattery under the Bowden Rule – Ed)  He’s down at the bottom end of The Bay on Saturday for the Geelong Melbourne no brainer.  (Another Scotty on the watch list Wrap? – Ed)

Are they really queued up behind Coach Knighter out at Whingy Hill, with knives unsheathed?  Wallsie seems to think so.  When questioned on the matter, the Club referred us to their legal representatives, those well regarded litigationists Downright, Lie & Procrastinate.  Senior Associate Sir Frank Downright issued a press release stating that everyone’s job is constantly under review in any well run organisation.  We asked if this was the new the committee is 110% behind the coach?  The reply came in the blink of an eyelash – If he performs he stays. If not, he goes.  It’s simple.  (The Club will) not be wasting time making up the numbers and I reckon the coach would agree. (Sheedy certainly didn’t – Ed)

After naming the claimant to Sheedy’s high office as non other than Favorite Son James Hird, Wallsie went on to praise Coach Knighter for his courage and foresight.  We heard you can get bad haemorrhoids sitting on the fence like that Wallsie.

BTW, The Matildas have won through to the final of the Asian Cup and earned a place in the World Cup version for women.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be on plane Zen after Round X.

The Bombers v The Bulldogs under cover tonight.  The Kennel Coughs are starting to string a few games together and last week’s little donnybrook will have only helped bond The Playing Group.  Even Akka’s homophobic trumpeting has been swept aside as the ranting of someone decidedly uncertain about her hair colour.  The Bombers are playing some good attacking Footy, and regardless of what some sourpusses and un-reconstructed Sheedyites around at Whingy Hill might think, it is a style of game that wins matches.  But they won’t win this one.  The Doggies are getting over their Whatever Cup Hangover and setting themselves for a Top Two Finish now that the Collywobbles have set in and Scarlett’s hammy is suspect.  Our Bazza v Scragger Fletcher, now there’s something to ride down from Strath Creek on your 3-speed Hartley to see.  It’s The Sons of The West from The Wrapcave.  And put Our Barry down for a lazy six.

The Corio Oval Kittens v Jimmy’s Redlegs at Kardinia Park on Saturday.  The Dees have rested Sully & Trengrove after the big strain on young bodies up in Darwin’s high humidity.  By a quarter to five in the dwindling daylight of Sleepy Hollow Jack Who will be wishing the match Committee had allowed him the same consideration.  Sorry Jimmy, The Kittens are purring right now.  Not even Buckley’s for this one.  And if you can be bothered joining the queue at SportsBet, the $1.04 on offer for The Moggies is better than you’ll get on an ALP win in the next Canberra Derby right now.

The Chokers v The Tigers under the Shadow of Mt Lofty on Saturday Arvo.  Port have been hit by suspensions and injury.  Daniel Motlop has lost his way again and Davenport has fallen foul of the invertebrates at Jellymont House.  The Tiges have swung the axe and lost Foley to injury.  Polak, Collins, Griffiths and the much maligned Tiger Tambling will be loading their gear on the Team Bus as it heads off along the Ballarat Road.  Look, we’re going to stick our neck out here.  Richmond are very close to a win and the wheels might be about to fall off The Chokers.  They’ve lost two games they should have won, and while they would be expected to bounce back at home, their fair-weather fans are notoriously fickle.  With Ward Rooney predicting showers for the City of Light we’re betting they’ll stay away.  The Tigers from us here in The Wraproom.  And at $4.85, they’re The Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Lions v The Magpies at The Gabbatoir on Saturday night.  The Maggies OTR v the Bad News Bears in freefall.  Are you kidding?  If Brown lines up on Saturday night, Boss Voss can expect a visit from the RSVPA first thing Sunday morning.  The love-in with Fev down in Adelaide last week didn’t work, and it was honestly stressful to watch the Brisbane Captain, obviously incapacitated, lumbering after the ball last week.  The honeymoon’s over Vossy.  The Magpies are looking decidedly juicy at $1.30, certainly better than Gunns.  They’re The Wrap Investment Opportunity of the Round.  (No Nurelle, not Gunns.  Collingwood)

The Feeling Faints v The Chardonnays on The Shifting Sands of Ethelred Stadium on Saturday night.  The sands have been shifting under Moorabbin as well, but The Sainters should be able to account for Adelaide.  Our South Australian subscribers will be quick to point out that The Crows have won two of their last three.  However, Wooden Spoon Favourites and The Brisbane Bears don’t stack up all that well against The Reigning Runners Up with something to prove in front of TLSJOF.  And if you think Carringbush without Neon Leon look a bit flaky against Brisbane OTR you could always pile the lolly on The Saints to Come Marching In at $1.26,.

The Barocca Enhanced Hawks v the Lakers at THOF on Sunday arvo for the early one.  The Unsociable Hawks have finally joined us for Season 2010 and it will be interesting to see whether they can sustain their run.  With three wins and a percentage of 94.8% they are within striking distance of The Eight.  With Steak & Kidney and The Chokers looking anything but September Contenders, Hawthorn, your time starts now.  Bradshaw & Kenneely out for possibly the season, would have to sound the death knell on Paul Roos’ Swan Song.  The Mayblooms to Ride The Bumps With a Grin.

The Bluebaggers v The Coasters at Carlton’s current home ground on Sunday arvo.  The flags are halfmast along La Via Lygon after last Sunday’s debacle against The Rampaging Hawthorn.  Torn apart on the ball and in attack, they looked anything but becoming, let alone coming.  Will they be able to regroup against The Weagles?  You’d like to think so.  The Blues Brothers will be looking for a decisive season-reinvigorating win, and if their beloved Silvertails are going to play a rôle in September they’ll need to plaster The Eagles all over the grandstand.  The Nat & Coxy might have a say in the extent of the margin and the Blues will need some redeeming efforts from their on-ballers and forwards who, let’s face it, wilted under some consistent bustling last week.  (Come on Wrap, wet their pants under fearsome pressure – Ed)  Josh Kennedy will be keen to show his old club what they gave up to have Visy Park – Home of the Juddernaut at the top of their letterhead.  It has to be the Blues OTR at home, although West Coast have won two of their last three.  That $1.20 would be better off in something solid, like Telstra shares.

The Barry Crockers v The Kangaroos at Sooby for the twilight match.  Contenders v Pretenders.  Put down the glasses.  This is about as one-horsed as a two team contest can become.  Freo are breaking hoodoos and the Self Belief is palpable.  The Pav is on fire and you can mark him down for a dead set Brownlow Chance.  Bomber Harvey has them absolutely cherry ripe.  Top Four beckons and the out of favour Shinboners aren’t going to get in the way.  Sure, Coach Bradley will have them circling the wagons, and they may make a better showing than they did against the other top sides who pummelled them, but the suspicion still lingers.  The suspicion that the Coach and the Playing List are not on the same plane.  They will be on the way home, and it will give them time to get into some D&M dialogue as to the direction the Team and the Club takes from here.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in the Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I’m an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it’s my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

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