What’s with all the tennis grunting? I simply cannot stand those awful screams that are literally ruining good tennis matches.
If I wanted to listen to that sort of screeching I’d watch my kids playing or switch on that Pay TV channel that broadcasts Question Time in Federal Parliament.
Watching Maria Sharapova’s first round whitewash of Olga Puchkova the other day was like an hour-long session of fingernails scraping ever so slowly down a blackboard. It was simply excruciating and completely distracted from Sharapova’s devastatingly brilliant ground strokes.
I can’t remember any of those great shots but the screeching is still ringing in my ears days later, a bit like a Tony Abbott speech on feminism.
So why do players grunt? Bjorn Borg never needed it and neither did Margaret Court.
Yet some players can’t get through a game without sounding like a scratched record on steroids.
They seem to think it helps them psychologically or puts off their opponents. But many champions have won without screaming the house down and the tactic is now so passe that surely other players have got used to it.
The likes of Sharapova, whose grunts have been measured at 101 decibels, would win regardless.
Full-throttle grunting makes tennis almost impossible to watch without wanting to smash the TV. It’s almost as infuriating as those “woman of now” Kia ads; please don’t get me started on her.
Why hasn’t anyone done anything about it? (The grunting that is, although I’d also love to throttle that Kia woman).
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think anyone needs to make noises on a tennis court that wouldn’t be out of place in a Freddie Kreuger movie.
Their tennis should speak for itself.
For that reason, I probably won’t bother to switch on when Sharapova plays Ekaterina Makarova in today’s quarter final.
I’ll probably take the kids to Chadstone for some relative peace and quiet.
Cheryl Critchley is on twitter: @CherylCritchley