Second Test – Lord’s: Oh dear, Australia.

Did anyone think it would get this bad? Or at least, this bad so early in the series?

Comments

  1. Watson
    Rogers
    Khawaja
    Clarke
    Smith
    Hughes
    Haddin
    Agar
    Siddle
    Pattinson
    Harris

  2. I reckon Dips is pretty right with the team – but I would have Hughes at 3 and Khawaja/Smith at 5/6.
    My cricketing comments were: 1) These Tests are bloody close together. I recognise the commercial realities, but 2 me that anticipation/tension of at least 2 weeks between Tests is what makes it such a unique and treasured sporting contest. This should be Shakespearean drama but TV and short forms of the game turn it into the Young and the Restless. I think we were spoiled by the Trent Bridge Test. I suspect it will be too much of a good thing (red wine/chocolate), and tears before bedtime in a few weeks.
    2) I have lost all respect for Micky Arthur. Like a lot of footy coaches who inherit a struggling team on the rebuild, I thought he was just unlucky – wrong place/wrong time.
    What did he think was going to happen when he hired extortionists instead of lawyers to argue his case? I am sure they will be on a hefty contingency (no win: no fee); so they will take no prisoners to blackmail a hefty payout. I hope Cricket Australia tell them to f off and give him nothing. I would have thought any modern sporting coach already has this scenario in mind when they sign on, so the early termination clause should be spelled out in the initial contract. Goes to show what a poor ‘people manager’ Micky is. He could coach South African yes men, with their culture of saluting authority, but not free willed modern Australians.

  3. I’d keep the same team as first test.

    Dropping Starc, whilst it seems the majority view, is a bit harsh and I reckon he will bowl very well with the slope at Lords. Add in his swing and abilit to wield willow then I reckon he is good for another test. I love Harris and reckon he is a true blue Aussie brute with the ball but dropping a guy after the first test reeks of desparation.

    Khawaja in for Ed Cowan makes no sense as he has done nothing to deserve his spot other than win his initial baggy blue cap for NSW. Cowan is a quality bat who was labouring under a flu. Yep he is as boring as bat sh*t to watch but his two get out shots were so out of character that the only plausible explanation is that he was “not right” for that test and probably shouldn’t have played but is the incumbent and should be given the benefit of that status.

    Chopping and changing teams was the hallmark of England in the late 1980s thorugh to 2000’s. Let’s not emulate that feat.

    Go Aussies.

  4. Agree on keeping Cowan. He was apparently extremely sick most of first test, batting was merely a break from vomiting. Usman will play at some stage in the 10 test series, but has had very little cricket of late whereas Cowan has been playing county games (without an enormous amount of success I admit, still getting to only 40 odd) for a few months. Don’t change just now, but young Ed needs a score or a stay in a partnership.

    Interesting to note that Arthur’s legal team are the same that a few years ago launched a $37M action on behalf of a David Jones PR person who claimed harassement against the then DJ’s CEO. Her claim was a serious one that elicited deserved sympathy, however her dollar request (or that of her lawyer’s) made her out to be greedy and it could be argued distracted people from the legitimate issues she raised.

    I think the same will happen with Arthur. His claims on a legal basis (although I don’t believe FWA can hear it) has merit; his dollar claim though makes him out to be greedy and affects his ability to be hired elsewhere I’d say

    Sean

  5. Cowan out, Warner should be in….. otherwise, leave the same .

  6. Would love to see Jackson Bird and/or Harris have a run but hard to see that happening as they are workhorse bowlers similar to Siddle who had a very good first test. I think the contributions of Agar, Hughes and to a lesser extent Smith in the first innings and the efforts of Haddin and the tail in the second have masked some of the serious issues we have.
    I worry when we go 3 down that we can rapidly drop (as happened in the first innings) to 8 or 9 down as Hughes, Smith and Haddin have suspect technique and temprament. I also wonder about Haddin’s glovework and decision making in general bringing him back in place of Wade seems a really strange decision even after his knock in the second innings (which I think reflected that with no expectation he was able to relax and chase the bowling).

  7. Gordon Ricketts says:

    Watson
    Rogers
    Hughes
    Clarke
    Khawaja
    Smith
    Haddin
    Agar
    Pattinson
    Siddle
    Starc

    Would like to squeeze Harris in and Boof may risk only 5 bats? But went a bit conservative in the end. Starc adds variety, can be dangerous with ball and bat and deserves another chance. Khawaja has no end of talent and I expect Boof to push his case, but at No.5, am moving Hughes to No.3, he showed real grit in the first dig and was a bit stiff in the second.

  8. Matty Q says:

    Same team because I don’t reckon Boof will chop it around unless Cowan hasn’t recovered. Love to see Harris get a go as he’d probably make more runs than most of the top order. Micky Arthur should be made to write an essay to the board as to why he should coach and have Watson mark it.

  9. The Black Prince says:

    Watson
    Rogers
    Cowan
    Clarke
    Hughs
    Smith
    Haddin
    Agar
    Siddle
    Pattinson
    Bird

    Not a hope in hell Ed will play a get out shot akin to his first innings demise again in this lifetime…I just hope he gets the chance though. This morning went to have small wager on my Tassie mate scoring the most runs for Australia, and he wasn’t even in the market…Harris $67.00 & Khawaja $6.00. Maybe they know something we don’t! As long as Root gets a duck I’ll be happy, don’t know why but I developed a very healthy distaste for him at Trent Bridge….On numerous occasions I found myself asking why Warner didn’t hit him harder!

  10. Peter Flynn says:

    Dips is on the money.

    I’ll pick the same side.

    He is informed and not parochial.

    His posts are always meaningful and are thought provoking.

    Harris to handle the Lord’s slope.

  11. Not much Boof can do, Cowans will be dropped so expect a melancholy peice in the Australian tommorow from Gideon Haigh, I’d get the Marsh Bros in the X1 asap,

  12. Flynny – your post is ignorant, ill-informed and displays a complete lack of understanding of the game.

    Regards
    Caro

  13. DBalassone says:

    Watson
    Rogers
    Khawaja
    Clarke
    Smith
    Hughes
    Haddin
    Agar
    Starc
    Siddle
    Pattinson

    Would keep the same pace bowlers with apologies to Harris who I reckon is a genuine wicket taker, but a Starc bag might just be around the corner. Still feel a bit for Lyon, didn’t he take a 7 for in his last test? Also, not convinced Smith should be batting no. 5 for his country – but his first innings 50 means he is a certainty.

  14. Peter Flynn says:

    Thanks Dips,

    Hilarious.

    Cheers,

    PF

  15. Leave the side as it is. But for a few more runs (and a bit of luck) in the first Test, the Aussies could have snatched a famous victory. Ed Cowan will come good if he is allowed to open the batting (rather than “the cancer” Watson). Starc as a left armer using the Lords slope will be be a sensation. I’m expecting it to be over in 4 days with Aussies winning easily.

  16. There’s always two teams.
    The one you’d like and the one they’ll pick.

    Watson
    Rogers
    Cowan
    Clarke
    Smith
    Hughes
    Haddin
    Agar
    Pattinson
    Harris
    Bird

  17. Neil Belford says:

    My only difference to Haps team is the order

    Watson
    Rogers
    Cowan
    Smith
    Clarke
    Hughes
    Haddin
    Agar
    Pattinson
    Harris
    Bird

  18. Based on my extremely confident post about Ed Cowan & Mitchell Starc at 1.42 p.m. and how they will dominate at Lords, I think I might as well become a media adviser to Tony Abbott because he too has absolutely no idea. Back to the drawing board!

  19. e.regnans says:

    1. Rogers
    2. Watson
    3. Cowan
    4. Hughes
    5. Clarke
    6. Smith
    7. Haddin
    8. Agar
    9. Siddle
    10. Starc
    11. Pattinson
    Don’t change a winning* side.
    Same XI. Stability. Love.
    Captain Clarke says they’re “in a great place”.

    * it’s all in the context

  20. e.regnans says:

    * selectors evidentally enforced the strict dictionary definition of “winning”.
    All the best to Khawaja & Harris. Go get ’em.

  21. The Black Prince says:

    Further to my post at 1.17, it appears Tattsbet did in fact know something the rest of us didn’t…RIP Ed :(

  22. Peter_B says:

    GI – which of the Marx Bros did you want in the team – Groucho, Chico, Zeppo, Gummo or Harpo? “Duck Soup” might be a good title for the batting order. “Monkey Business” for Warner. “At The Circus” for Watto, Clarke and Mickey Mouse.
    I think Groucho’s quote of “I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that has me as a member”, just about says it all for Watto and Mickey.

  23. Cowan is such a likeable bloke, you want him to succeed but he just hasn’t quite. With Harris you could argue that any time he’s fit he’s got to play, since that is once in a blue moon.

  24. Brian Stuart-Nairne says:

    I agree with Peter Flynn. Drop Cown for Khawaja and bat Hughes at 3 and Khawaja at 5, Smith at 6. Despite Hughes’ fine effort in the First Test, he is, after all, an opener so first drop is where I would have him, for same logic as Cowan was at first drop. Harris should show his usual fire and bowl like a man trying to gain back his spot. Isn’t it great that we now have some good quickies from which to choose.

    Brian S-N

  25. Watson
    Rogers
    Hughes
    Khawaja
    Clarke
    Smith
    Haddin
    Siddle
    Pattinson
    Harris
    Lyon

  26. Two changes to a side which almost stole a win in the First Test.
    Is this an admission that those two particular selections were incorrect,
    or an attempt to improve the side (to give it a better chance of victory)?
    I hope the latter is the case.

    If fit, Harris should have played in Nottingham.
    I am still undecided on Khawaja, he gives off the same brooding body language of Watson; but the talking horse’s dismissals in Nottingham looked terrible.
    And despite his 5-wicket performance in the first dig, there are stillplenty of Knackers looking to drop Siddle.

  27. There’s a touch of 1976 about this antipodean week. I’m expecting little pyres of smoke from the back of Muirfield, and little Viv-pushes to race across the parched outfield to the mid-wicket boundary.

    [And is there a John Daly in Rory Mac, itching to get out?]

  28. John Sandy says:

    Cam, I agree with the Haddin comments. I think his excellent 2nd innings has masked his poor keeping and irresponsible shot trying to hit against the spin so early in his 1st innings.

  29. John and Cam, i concur re the Q marks re Haddin being in the test team. Is it simply a question of wanting an experienced ‘head’ in the team, covering for the recent departure of Hussey, and Ponting. Even more so in light of the alleged angst between Clarke and Watson.
    Is he simply there for the series in the UK, then his role reviewed upon return to Australia? There are people who consider Tim Paine our best keeper, and if he has recovered from his injuries, which have cost him lots of cricket the last few years, i’d not be suprised for him to return to the test side in our forthcoming home series.

    Glen!

  30. Tony Roberts says:

    Judging by the weather, pitch and outfield conditions, Australia is on top here. Even if England mount the 450-odd in the 2nd dig that their record points to, I believe that Australia could chase down 300-350 if time permits.

    Further to the comments I made on Monday about how recent narrow Australian defeats are much more honourable than the Hughes surrenders of 1981, check out this article by Rob Smyth from today’s Cricinfo:

    http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/652731.html

  31. No question that the Poms ended the first day in front. Any score over 320 will test the Aussie batting order – unless Clarke makes a large ton.

    I reckon the Poms have figured out that two batting scores of 300 or so will beat Australia every time. They don’t need to make 450 anymore.

    Pattinson was dreadful. Get the ball on the pitch son, then worry about sledging after that.

    Root looks like a Dickensian character from the work houses of old London. If his batting fails he could go into period dramas on TV as a pick-pocket.

  32. Tony, i read the article, finding the statistics deeply depressing. When there’s been 17 tests decided by less than 15 runs, and we’ve lost 11 of them, 7 in the last two decades, i’m left with questions re the resilience of those wearing the “Baggy Green”. Questions i’m not able to answer. It is disconcertingly similar to the close Grand Finals Colingwood could not win between 1964 and 1981.

    Glen! .

  33. Tony Roberts says:

    Glen
    The analogy with Collingwood’s GF losses is appropriate. As with Australia’s Test defeats, though, some of the Pies’ narrow losses (2002, for example) were excellent performances by teams that barely expected to be there, rather than gutless chokeramas (e.g. 1970 and 1981).

    Also like Australia in cricket, Collingwood’s near misses had the beneficial effect of spreading almost unanimous joy among most other followers of each sport. But, as Wilde more or less said, it is better to be hated than ignored.

  34. Tony,

    As a person who’s followed the fortunes of our cricketers for 40+ years, taking great plesseure in our victories, i’m inclined to also refer to Oscar Wilde, by saying ” I have the simplest tastes. I’m always satisfied with the best”. As such, i look forward to the Baggy Greens resurgence; one day.

    Glen!

  35. Andrew Starkie says:

    First day honours to Australia. Great start for Harris, let’s hope his body holds up. Bell leads fight back again. Arrived home from work and flicked on TV to see split screen comparison of Bell and Bairstow playing a drive. Chalk and cheese. Bell all right angles and eyes on ball, head still. Bairstow none of this. Sidds’ no ball was a knife in the heart. Poms on top before Smith did his business. Superb contribution from a player who probably isn’t sure of his role yet. Keep Eng under 330 and start well with the bat and the Test maybe ours for the taking. Cricket Gods should reward Rogers with Lord’s ton.

  36. Hey Cookie did I win the liquorice or do I have to share it the multitudes?

  37. Shane Watson could possibly be the dumbest bloke in the world.

  38. mickey randall says:

    With only two centuries in forty-two Tests Watson’s spectacularly mediocre Australian career must soon be concluded. Surely he’d be more impressive as a regular on QI.

  39. Interesting use of ‘could’ and ‘possibly’ Dips.

  40. Andrew Gaylard says:

    Watson’s decision-making costs another wicket through the unfortunate Rogers’ consequent prudence. Surely a team rule of “Watson doesn’t review” could be implemented, if someone still talking to him could let him know?

  41. The Black Prince says:

    Chris Rogers should never ever have to pay for another beer in his life if that selfish prick Watson is in the room! Hugh’s has just joined Watson in the ‘dumbest bloke in the world’ category Dips!

  42. Rogers took one for the team. Watson doesn’t understand there’s no I in team.

  43. “He was a man of supreme egoism and utter lack of scruple —who, to his overweening ambition, sacrificed hundreds of thousands of men. A man who betrayed even his most devoted assistants as well as those which he served. A man who gained his ends by trickery of a kind that was not merely immoral but criminal.”
    Liddell Hart on Shane Watson – sorry I meant General Haig (WW1)
    M Clarke knows a fair bit about leading from the rear also.
    Tally ho chaps.
    There must be a BlackAdder episode in this rabble.
    We need a new coach – sack Boof – send Brad Scott.

  44. Peter Flynn says:

    Watto cannot play another Test for Australia.

    Self-absorbed selfishness in the extreme.

    Impacted on Rogers and ‘inspired’ Hughes.

    Has been dismissed in this way about 20 times before.

    Poor technique. Poor batting brain. Weak. Pea heart.

    Not even Geoffrey Robertson could argue his retention.

    Doesn’t know where his stumps are.

    He is a simpleton infant in an adult body.

  45. Rick Kane says:

    There was a time, and I can vaguely remember it, when The Ashes used to be fun. It’s starting to suck #stopthepoms

  46. Rick Kane says:

    Siddle, getting wickets the old fashioned way – without the third umpire!

  47. Last night they located where Shane Watson’s cancer took root: Australia/s sphincter

  48. Shane Watson’s use of DRS is final proof for me that it is great for the game. Before DRS, cricket, like all sports, was just an examination of skill, courage and sportsmanship. But with DRS, Cricket now has a new test: a test of ones narcissism. DRS now tempts the egomaniac out of his lair and shames him for it. Shane Watson is DRS”s latest triumph. It has shown up Shane Watson for what he is. Long may it remain part of crickets processes.

  49. Absolutely outrageous. One of poorest states of mind – individuals and collective – that I’ve seen in any team or organisation.

  50. Agree with PJ Flynn.

    Watson is selfish, has poor body language, and is a sook.

  51. Dips, re liquorice, will you be a team player and share it? Or will you do a Watto? The Knacker fraternity is watching…

  52. Quick quiz:

    1. Shane Watson is:
    (a) unbelievably unaware of where his stumps are when hit in front;
    (b) totally ignorant of the laws of lbw;
    (c) couldn’t care less about anyone but himself; or
    (d) all of the above

    2. If described as a ‘cancer’ on the team by departing coach, you should:
    (a) seek to show you are not by acting as a team player;
    (b) carry on the same way you were before
    (c) be an ever bigger example of a cancer than you were before

    3. Kevin Pieterson is
    (a) out of form;
    (b) due for a score;
    (c) an interesting test case in bringing back a divisive player into a winning formula;
    (d) sadly reflecting the views of all Australians and also all the English when he laughed so hard when Watson referred his decision; or
    (e) all of the above

  53. Cookie – my address is………………..

  54. e.regnans says:

    Love the DRS insight, Tbone.
    Sheesh. The magic mirror on the wall ain’t lying.
    No quick way back from here.
    Although team selection can’t make the runs, it can reward (& punish) behaviour. Perhaps it’s a good start to select only team players with the requisite decision-making skills and patience. Prioritise behaviour consistently exhibited over skills (i.e. back to the Ed Cowan future).
    Parenting 101.
    Teaching 101.

  55. Phil Dimitriadis says:

    And yet, he top scored and played the best shots of the innings. Watto is at best a number 6 and should never be allowed to open. Rogers, Khawaja and Hughes should just be used against Bangladesh, Zimbabwe and maybe New Zealand. They just don’t have what it takes at this level. Feel very sorry for our bowlers, including Watto, who’ve been magnificent under the circumstances.

  56. I demand a review under the LRS (Liquorice Review System).
    Dips and I picked the same team, and he was only 19 minutes in front of me. He got the first 3 in order, but he had Hughes 2 spots out of place and I was only 1 out.
    He got Khawaja in the right spot and Smith wrong. I got Smith right and Khawaja wrong.
    Therefore according to Hot Spot, Snicko, Liquorice Eye (doesn’t bear thinking about) and all things holy, I WIN ON A COUNTBACK.
    I WANT MY LIQUORICE (watto told me to say that). Or I’ll take my obscure posts and comments over to Big Footy and then you won’t have no Eagles to rubbish and you won’t get my weekly sook over Woosh and injuries and stuff and Sean Gorman won’t have no one to make fun of and there will be no one else old enough to understand most of Mr Wrap’s stuff (shane told me to say that too).
    I WANT MY LIQUORICE.

  57. Liquorice-gate could be my downfall. Peter B’s not going to go quietly

  58. Cookie, PB is under pressure: the Swans landed in Perth yesterday.

  59. I asked him to cover the game for the site, too. He must be convinced I have it in for him. Not like someone from WA to be paranoid about a decision from the east

  60. Sean, Pieterson gut laughing at Watson like that shows that, for all his foibles, he has a great appreciation for champagne comedy. It was gut laughingly funny that Watson would contest that LB. The man is a d@#*^bag. Career wise, I believe its now 8 DRS’s that Watson has wasted just on LB’s and you’d think that he’d wise up that he’s flushing his standing in the game down the crapper. Surely he’s now getting to the point of no return in salvaging what’s left of his reputation.

  61. Peter B – I got Hughes out of place by two spots, but because he only lasted 8 balls it’s actually only one place askew.

    I’ll race you for the liquorice next time you’re in Melbourne. A forty metre dash up Lennox St, Richmond!

  62. Luke Reynolds says:

    Thought P.Hughes had turned the corner after his effort at Trent Bridge. Last night’s dismissal was the Hughes of old. We clearly don’t have 6 batsmen up to Test standard at the moment. Time to bat Haddin at 6 and bring in Faulkner. Faulkner doesn’t give his wicket away easily and would at least add some fight to the batting line-up.

  63. Dips, good idea. I’ll set the marks and frame the market.

  64. Steve Fahey says:

    Luke is right -we don’t have 6 batsmen up to Test standard, and don’t have 12 players up to Test standard (we could probably field 8 bowlers if they were ever all fit plus Clarke).

    A more positive dressing room and team culture would have had Hussey still at 6, where he was desperately needed in both India and this series. The standard of our batting was only matched by our use of the DRS and our behind the wicket catching – we don’t even drop them, they just go between the blokes looking at each other/leaving them.

    Bloody hell. What will happen if the class Pom batsmen find form ? Lots of credit to our bowlers collectively, although one seems to have a stinker each innings. It was Patto’s turn in the first innings.

  65. Patto is hyped. His opening spell for the series was deflating. He hasn’t recovered.

  66. Peter Flynn says:

    Luke and Steve are right.

    Can Watto be banned from using DRS?

    DRS stands for Don’t Refer Shane or Don’t Refer Simpleton.

    Phil, making 30 can often be more culpable than a single-figure failure.

    Watto was set and it was the last over prior to lunch.

    We will look back on this period and call them the Watto Years.

    He must be dropped.

    I’m now going to be following Bubba Watson.

    TBone, great take on the DRS and judging character.

  67. Mark Doyle says:

    More over-reaction from the peanut gallery of Australian sport’s followers! I did not see much of last night’s cricket, but I presume that Swann must have bowled well. The Tour De France and the British Golf Open were much more appealing.
    Notwithstanding that the Australian Cricket team performed well in the first test, this is an inexperienced team and inconsistency is not surprising. It seems to me that most of the Australian batsmen have a limited overs game strategy of getting on the front foot and hitting hard through the line of the ball and scoring off every ball. Most of them lack patience and the ability to judge the movement of the ball. The bowlers are also inexperienced and not bowling well in partnerships. Unfortunately this is probably our best team and the only blokes likely to improve it in the next couple of years are Tim Paine, Pat Cummins and Fawad Ahmed. There are no other batsmen who are better than the six batsmen in the current test team.

  68. No over-reaction. On that deck G.S. Chappell could have played that attack with a tooth-pick. But, more to the point, Ian Healy would have needed little more than a cocktail umbrella. It was set up for blokes with character and temperament to find a way of getting on top of the opponent. This is a contest. Not a benefit in which sigma runs has some value. It all has context.

  69. Peter Flynn says:

    I think Mark D makes some good points in his second paragraph.

    The inability to construct an innings and the technical flaws are proving very costly.

    Swann bowled OK. He will bowl better for worse figures.

    Who would’ve thought that Bresnan would be batting at the start and at the end of the day’s play?

  70. I would not say that the batting line-up is too inexperienced:
    S Watson: 42 Tests;
    C Rogers: 3 Tests, but almost 20,000 First Class runs with 60 centuries;
    U Khawaja: 6 Tests;
    P Hughes: 25 Tests;
    M Clarke: 93 Tests;
    S Smith: 8 Tests;
    B Haddin: 45 Tests.
    My point is that there have been plenty more inexperienced line-ups than this lot.

  71. Peter_B says:

    Editors,
    Could you introduce a system of deleting the first paragraphs of Mark D’s posts.
    After the gratuitous insults he sometimes makes sense.
    I WANT MY LIQUORICE.

  72. e.regnans says:

    10mins til the play starts on Day3.
    The Apple ad is saying: ” this is what matters.”
    Gee I’m looking forward to this day of cricket.
    I’m not watching for the win anymore. Or to see poms squirm (bugger it).
    No no.
    Watching for signs of fight. Signs of character. Moments will come along today during which a light will be shone into the dark recesses of players’ minds and bodies. Who will stand up?
    Yes, grasshopper, sun will rise again.
    But on whom will it shine?

  73. PB,
    You get me that Swans-Eagles report and we’ll talk liquorice.
    Yeah, that’s right, hard ball.
    SC

  74. Peter Flynn says:

    Did anyone think it would get this bad? Or at least, this bad so early in the series?

    YES

    Will a ‘promising’ Australian batting ‘tyro’ make a 50 in the 2nd dig?

  75. PF – no. He’s not in the team. He probably isn’t born yet.

  76. Andrew Starkie says:

    Eng 3-30 and 3-28 and lead by 550. I feel sick.

    Bell manipulated referral system. Again, I don’t believe in walking, but he showed no class. If you look at any camera angle enough you will eventually create doubt. From the naked eye and most angles it was a catch. Should’ve taken Smith’s word for it? Maybe. Eng would’ve been 5-170.

    Umps have had poor Test. Series, actually. Rogers should’ve referred, but couldn’t because Watto, selfish as ever, had used up one ten minutes before.

    Root and Bresnan showed Aust how to play Test cricket in the first session. Patient. Focused. Respectful of every ball.

    We last held the Ashes in 2001. What has happened to batsmen in Aust since? Why do half our batsmen – Watto, Cowan, Hughes, Smith – have such poor technique? Can’t be simply due to 20/20.

  77. I can’t count up to 583.

    The great ally is the heat. Not sure London has ever had 34 degrees, if they can bat into the morrow.

  78. PS What happens in these pages if at lunch tomorrow Australia is 4/414?

  79. Peter_B says:

    Step A – Keep calm public face by claiming credit for shaming team into greater efforts.
    Step B – Organise PO Box to hide statements having placed mortgage redraw facility on Poms at $1.01.
    Step C – Consider relative merits of bank robbery and drug importation.

  80. e.regnans says:

    When people the world over expect you to fall l.b.w. and you then fall l.b.w., it raises some fair questions.
    As a former 2nd grade park cricket outswing bowler, I explained exactly how I’d dismiss S.Watson to CJ here as we lie on the Sunday night lounge room floor. I was thinking 4 probing outswingers followed by the off cutter (I could never swing it both ways).
    Her question: “if you know this, surely he knows this. Surely he’s expecting it. Why isn’t he prepared for the l.b.w.? Why isn’t he changing his game? Isn’t that his job?”

  81. Very good from Swann. But not very good from Rogers.

  82. Just turned the telly on – 2/32. Oh dear.

  83. Peter_B says:

    If Australia are 4/414 at lunchtime tomorrow:
    a) the rapture has happened – praise be to God;
    b) the ratsak in all the chicken tikka in NW1 has proved successful;
    c) Ashton Agar came in at #6 after Khawaja went for a patient 8.

  84. Matty Q says:

    Boof told the boys to let the ball go but forgot to add “except if it’s on the stumps.”

  85. MattyQ – I am sitting here looking at the computer screen and the TV screen searching for inspiration.
    Fancy writing a quick 700 words for me – “why the Australian cricket team is better than the West Coast Eagles.”
    I am in desperate need of ideas.
    I WANT MY LIQUORICE.

  86. The Black Prince says:

    Is there anything remotely similar in world sport to that of walking through The Long Room to and fro the playing surface? I would imagine it to be a very special experience.

    The jungle drums are already beating down here…bring back Ed.

  87. Rick Kane says:

    Is this Australian team the Melbourne Demons of the cricket world?

  88. GWS???

  89. Rick Kane says:

    Melbourne because they’ve been playing the game for over a hundred years …

    The umpires, the DRS, sportsmanship. All these concerns are of little moment compared to the simple fact that there are two sides out there and only one of them is playing decent cricket.

    Lunch break and some respite. The Graham Norton Show is on 10. I’ll put on the kettle, have a laugh, turn back to the cricket, have a sigh and a cry then hit the sack thinking happy thoughts like gee, that Hodge can kick a pigskin can’t he.

  90. Peter Flynn says:

    Putrid.

    The Watto years won’t be fondly remembered.

    Usman picks up our token 50.

  91. The Australian Test cricket team has brought shame on our nation.
    It is one thing to lose…it is another to go down without a whimper.

    Hopefully, Ryan Harris can get on the park at Old Trafford.

  92. Flynny,
    The “Watto years” will be remembered less fondly than
    the WSC years, when we struggled to field competitive
    teams. But at least there was good reason for that: 15
    or so of our best were playing for Kerry.

  93. Not good enough. I can cop that. What I can’t cop is blokes walking (no, trudging) off the field after a dismissal. Never, ever, ever, show your opponent you are hurting. Never ever, ever bow your head a crawl to the dressing room like a beaten dog.

    We have shrinks, medical scientists, nutritionists, coaches, specialist coaches, and the best equipment in the world, but none of that will help if the blokes playing for Australia show the opponent that they are already beaten.

    Lift your heads boys, dig in and have a go.

    The worst part of watching the cricket last night was listening to the Pommy commentators being all squelchy and soft and patronising about our batsmen. They were saying things like, “That’s better, play with a straight bat.” and “Yes, these blokes can bat when they put their minds to it.” Phewk!!

    We need to look for the soft English underbelly and expose it. Its there. No question. Its written all over the red cheeked face of their pompous captain. Cambridge wanker. (Or maybe it was Oxford).

  94. Interesting looking at yesterdays Age , where Simon Katich made it clear he’d not retired. Imagine the shennanigans with he, Clarke and Watson on the same team !!

    Glen!

  95. Tony Roberts says:

    Hey, lay off Watto, guys! (Where’s Mark Doyle when you need him?)

    Anyway, Swayze-Boy’s got at least one other fan – someone from Jonestown has drunk the Kool-Aid (see my post to Peter B’s attempt to get the plagiarising contract for Watto’s homework).

  96. Craig Down says:

    Alex Doolan.

    He, given the state of the cupboard, is worth a throw. Right-handed.

  97. DBalassone says:

    Bowling to Watto is like bowling to a giant pair of pads in front of the stumps, just a matter of time before you hit the target and get the LB.

  98. DBalassone says:

    M. Doyle says to the peanut gallery “There are no other batsmen who are better than the six batsmen in the current test team.” I disagree. If Mickey Arthur can sue for unfair dismissal then I think about 10 Aussie bats have a case for discrimination in the hiring process.

    I can name 10 better current batsmen than Steve Smith:
    D. Hussey
    Warner
    Cosgrove
    Doolan
    Ferguson
    Quiney
    White
    Klinger
    Bailey
    Even Shaun Marsh

  99. Maddison, Forrest, Byrne, where do they sit in your rankings ?

    Glen!

  100. The Australian cricket team brought shame to our nation when they were winning too.

  101. Andrew Starkie says:

    Spot on Dips. CMon Aussie! Dig deep.

  102. Damien

    David Hussey is the clear stand out for me. A real tragedy that he lost form last year like he did. Could have really bolstered the middle order. And yes, all those guys are a better bat than Smith. I like Smith, but he’s not a test bat – never will be. His best bet is too hone his leggies in the nets and turn himself into an allrounder, otherwise its curtains for him

  103. Rick Kane says:

    If the Ashes series Test venues were songs representing Australia’s status in each game then the First Test might be called, Trent Bridge Over Troubled Waters and the Second Test, Hey Lords, Don’t Ask Me Questions. What are good songs to represent Australia’s status for the next three Test venues?

  104. Mark Doyle says:

    The peanut gallery is alive and well with illinformed comments. Some clown called smokie has no understanding of experience at international test level and equates Chris Rogers’ first class record with a test record; I am surprised that he did not include the grade and junior records of Rogers as part of his argument.
    There is another clown called dbalassone who has named a number of batsmen to be better than Steve Smith – this mythical person obviously is an inarticulate intellectual moron who has no understanding and appreciation of cricket.
    This website seems to desire a negative opinion of sport and sport’s people.
    Where are the positive comments about fantastic performances in the British Golf Open by Phil Mickelson, Ian Poulter and Adam Scott; plus an excellent performance by the English Cricket Team and the best Tour De France race in 20 years with fantastic performances of aggressive racing and team tactics from the teams of Saxo-Tinkoff, Sky, Movistar, RadioShack, Cannondale and Orica Greenedge and superb individual performances from Chris Froome, Nairo Quintana, Joacquim Rodriguez and Peter Sagan, which were not possible without great efforts from their ‘domestiques’.

  105. Matty Q says:

    Troll Doyle strikes again.

  106. Look, whilst I put on my long red shoes and big red nose, could someone please access Chris Rogers’ grade and junior stats?

  107. Andrew Starkie says:

    Smokie, don’t give up on Rogers.

  108. Chris Rogers’ dad John played a few games for NSW… top score 70-odd. I played veterans with him for West Perth a few years back before I got too old for veterans and he was a really good player still. One day Chris dropped by to watch. Keep him in the team.

    That Matty Q sounds like an uncultured idiot who should keep his opinions to himself.

    I don’t know whether to be nice or nasty.

  109. Peter Flynn says:

    Coulrophobia

  110. Rick Kane says:

    well called Mr Flynn,

    Coulrophobia is defined as an abnormal fear of clowns

    “Clowns to the left of him, clowns to the right, MD is stuck in the middle with us”!

  111. Rick Kane says:

    By the way Mr Doyle, or The Headmaster as I prefer to know you, I did acknowledge the English Test side’s skills as the reason they’re beating us (and any other permutation we might put up). So I guess I’m not a clown. Sir.

  112. Mark D – its hard to soar like an eagle when your surrounded by turkeys.

Leave a Comment

*