Round 4 Winners and Losers

Round four is done and dusted in round five is right around the corner. Before you partake in football on Wednesday be sure you are up to speed with all the happenings from the weekend just past.

Winners

 

Essendon

The Bombers must have heard the ‘worst 3 and 0 start in history’ whispers and thought “bugger this”

Essendon started their Saturday afternoon clash with Carlton as $7 underdogs, despite being undefeated like their opponents.  Judging by the ensuing performance, no one has felt this disrespected since Bonasera went to the police first. The underrated Bombers went on to stun the heavily favoured Blues by 30 points at the MCG.

It was a case of the usual suspects in the middle. Captain Jobe Watson continued his impressive start to the year, adding another 31 touches and 13 clearances to his seasonal tally. Watson now sits second in the competition for clearances, behind Ra from the Gold Coast. I haven’t got this confirmed, but I’m sure I saw the words ‘Brent Stanton’ written on the Sherrin in black texta.

Up forward it was Stewart Crameri who scored 5 goals from 11 scoring shots before getting hamstring tightness. I think those two things are related. If you’re going to get injured, the best way is surely as a result of having too many shots.

The point flag

The unheralded star of the weekend, making no less than 232 appearances. Lance Franklin and Stewart Crameri can each lay claim to the title ‘publicist of the year’

If the point flag was an actor, then this weekend’s games represent the following milestones in its career.

Brisbane v Gold Coast (19 behinds): Quits his studies. Tells father he wishes to be an actor.

Geelong v Richmond (20 behinds): Plays ‘bird in tree’ and ‘bus shelter’ in amateur theatre production. Watches 47 year old woman named Magda play role of Pippi Longstocking. Broods over the fact he didn’t get the role.

St Kilda v Fremantle(21 behinds): Plays Pippi Longstocking in next year’s production (Magda had gout). The seven people in attendance refer to it as a triumph.

Melbourne v Western Bulldogs (23 behinds): Noticed by talent scout during final show. Talent scout tells him he is the next Clooney. Smells strong scent of liquor on talent scout. Disregards this.

Collingwood v Port Adelaide (26 behinds): Gets role playing ‘Cop 3’ in action flick. Total screen time = 2.47 seconds

Adelaide v GWS (26 behinds): Plays marine named ‘Jones’ in futuristic alien invasion film. Gets one line. “We are all going to die”.

Sydney v North Melbourne (28 behinds): Plays deadbeat father in coming of age indie film. Gets a few nice reviews from critics.

Carlton v Essendon (32 behinds) Gets role in latest Spielberg film. Mentioned on E! News as one of ‘hollywood’s up and comers’.

West Coast v Hawthorn (37 behinds) Draws comparisons to Brando. Wins Oscar. Begins dating Scarlett Johnasson.

 

Having more than 30 disposals

17 players had 30 or more touches in round 4. Brisbane Best and Fairest winner Tom Rockliff led the way, notching 37 disposals, 10 clearances and 7 tackles in a 65 point win over the Suns. Port Adelaide’s Kane Cornes also joined him with 37. Dane Swan showed signs that he was getting past his sluggish start as he collected the pill 36 times. The previously mentioned Brent Stanton matched Swan’s efforts, adding 17 marks in a performance critics are calling ‘uncontested’.

 

Daniel Kerr

The Eagles midfield maestro was the only player who came close to having as many disposals as there were behinds in his side’s clash with Hawthorn Saturday night. The 3 time top 3 finisher at the Brownlow Medal (maybe his nickname should just be “close”?) was in sublime form, with 33 touches, 9 clearances and a goal. If he keeps playing like that he is well on his way to a fourth top 3 finish.

 

The Premiership race

The fight for flag seems more even than it’s ever been over the past few years, with a whole host of teams in the discussion. The Eagles, Swans and Bombers are all undefeated after four rounds; Carlton, Adelaide and Fremantle are 3 and 1. Hawthorn, Collingwood and Geelong all sit outside the top 8 but are more than likely to see September action. Two things seem clear at this early stage. It’s going to be a fascinating year with a host of teams competing for the coveted top four spots, and if the Eagles can finish first or second and book themselves home field throughout the finals it’s hard to envision them not taking part on the last Saturday in September.

 

Losers

 

Carlton

It only took a week for Carlton to pole vault straight back into ‘are they for real?’ territory. The Blues went down to the Bombers by 30 points and collected a litany of injuries along the way. Carlton play some impressive football, but seem to always have weeks like this that leave you wondering if they’ve got what it takes to actually win the flag.

 

Melbourne

In losing to the Western Bulldogs the Demons lost what seems to be their only real chance at a win until their round 13 clash with the Giants.

The Demons fixture for the next two months appears as follows:

St Kilda

@Geelong

Hawthorn

@Sydney

@Carlton

@Essendon

Collingwood

Bye

 

Ouch….

 

Injuries

Speaking of ouch, it was a horrible round for injuries. Gary Rohan suffered from a ‘don’t show me that ever again’ leg break, ending his season and casting a shadow over his career. Port’s Robbie Gray also had his season ended as he ruptured his ACL in the closing seconds against Collingwood.

Gary Ablett, Jarrod Harbrow, Andrew Carrazzo, Michael Hurley, Jared Petrenko and Bernie Vince are all likely to miss weeks as a result of incidents on the weekend. There was so much carnage that viewers could be forgiven for thinking they were watching a three day long Michael Bay film.

 

More interviews with parents

Seriously whose idea is this? Why is this still happening? Did you know Cory Dell’Olio’s parents are very proud of him? Seven’s Saturday “arvo” football continues to be memorable, in a ‘what a train wreck’ kind of way. Someone should let them know that perhaps all that time spent on Wikipedia should instead be spent focusing on preparing to cover the weekend’s games.

 

About Adam Ritchie

My name is Adam. I started watching football with two fellow parapsychologists in an abandoned firehouse. When we’re not watching footy, we’re running our own pest control business. What do you mean I stole that from Ghostbusters?

Comments

  1. Adam, do you know what Fev’s folks have planned this weekend?

  2. Richard Naco says:

    Earl: denial.

  3. John Harms says:

    Adam, Nice pace. Very entertaining.

  4. Adam Ritchie says:

    I’m not sure about his folks, but I imagine Fev will be spending it working on his tango.

    Cheers John!

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