Pop! Goes the Punt: Caulfield Cup Day, Cranbourne and the Vic Derby – Reality Bites, the Generation X Guide to Tipping (aka ‘meh’, no collects last week)

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It makes me sick to my butthole to know there are children in this world who believe Jaden Smith is the Karate KidJenny Johnson

Kidz today.

To quote the American hip-hop act P.M. Dawn, “reality used to be a friend of mine”That is to say I completely lost my fking mind expecting Miley Cyrus1 to pick me a winner last weekend. Time to stick to safer ground.

Friday 18 October: Cranbourne Race 8 TAB iPad App Showcase (1400m)

9 Baker Boy ($10 each-way)

The Fabulous Baker Boys2 is an entry into (a) Michelle Pfeiffer3 and perhaps more importantly (b) Jeff Bridges.

(a) Michelle Pfieffer

I would argue that ‘Peak Michelle Pfeiffer’ was Dangerous Minds and Batman Returns. In one she plays Louanne Johnson, an ex-marine hired as a teacher in a high-school in a poor area of the city, trying unconventional methods of teaching to reach her students to a Coolio soundtrack. In the other she wears black and sexy and tight and shiny latex4

(b) Jeff Bridges

Jeff Bridges’ place in the Gen X pantheon can be summed up in three words – The Big Lebowski. Scratch that, it can be summed up in two. ‘The Dude’.

So, so many great scenes — such as when a cab driver plays “Peaceful Easy Feeling,” and Lebowski exclaims, “I hate the fking Eagles, man!” before being promptly ejected curbside (The Dude was more of a Creedence man).

Saturday 19 October: Race 10 Caulfield Cup (2400m)

18 Dear Demi ($20 each-way)

Let’s take a moment to consider Demi Moore’s pre-Cougar Ashton Kutcher contribution to popular cultureSt Elmo’s Fire5; About Last Night6; Ghost7; A Few Good Men8; Indecent Proposal; dating Bruce Willis at the height of his Die Hard (and Moonlighting) fame; her pregnant Vanity Fair cover9outside of Ethiopia and its allusion to Live Aid10, there is no other horse in the Caulfield Cup field that comes close to Dear Demi’s Gen X cred.

Saturday 19 October: Race 3 Sunrise Cup (1400m)

7 Melrose Place ($20 on the Heather Locklear nose-job) Didn’t get a run… meh

Melrose Place. Melrose Place. Melrose fking Place!

Melrose Place was an awkward spin-off of Beverley Hills 9021011 for the few short minutes it took to establish that Jane Mancini (Josie Bissett12) was way too good for the adulterous Dr Michale Mancini. From there on, it was required viewing (particularly during the halcyon Heather Locklear years and the seasons that featured Marcia Cross as the insane doctor-cum-demolitions-expert Kimberly Shaw) in the sense that a handful of us at the Old Collegians Football Club in Warrnambool would leave the track early to ensure that we were showered, changed and in the clubrooms in time for this.

Saturday 19 October: Race 9 Yellowglen Tristarc Stakes (1400m)

2 Xanadu ($10 each-way)

First up, it’s the only horse running at Caulfield on Saturday that starts with X… so that’s something.

I could make a further case for this horse by banging on about ‘Peak Olivia Newton John’ (1980-81: Xanadu and ‘Physical’), but instead Xanadu’s stronger link to Generation X is through the film’s producer, Joel Silver.

Consider this for a Gen X resume: 48 Hours13Brewster’s MillionsWeird Science14; Lethal Weapon 1-4; Predator; Roadhouse; and Die Hard 1-2.

Futures: Saturday 2 November: AAMI Victorian Derby (2500m)

Complacent ($20 the win)

And it’s a nice landing spot, this hammock of “good enough” that’s sandwiched between the Boomers’ “More, more, more!” and the Millennials’ “Me, me, me!” (Perhaps you could think of our rally cry as “Meh, meh, meh.”)—Whitney Collins, “Generation X’s journey from jaded to sated”, salon.com

 

 

1. Miley Cyrus had an unexpected advocate of sorts this week in Sufjan Stevens – although he did take her to task on her grammar.

2. Just so it’s in the minutes, The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989) was a good year ahead of Pretty Woman (1990) in terms of glamorising prostitution the lead male falling in love with a ‘working girl’ leading lady.

3. Please, no “entry into Michelle Pfeiffer” jokes in the comments. 

4. Baby Boomers, spare me the Ertha Kitt bullshit. Michelle Pfeiffer. Every. Day. Of. The. Week.

5. Starring Gen X royalty Demi Moore, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy… as well as the worst actress of our age, Andie MacDowell.

6. The film is being re-made next year with the remarkably unfunny Kevin Hart in the Rob Lowe role. Pass.

7. Sure it has its place in pop culture, but Ghost is a truly awful film that resurrected the awful ‘Unchained Melody’, returning the Righteous Brothers to the charts.

8. “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!”

9. The photo was taken by Annie Leibovitz who sued Paramount Pictures over this parody.

10. I was fortunate enough to be in London for the sequel  ‘Live 8′, and even more fortunate to be stuck in the queue and missing Coldplay’s set.

11. Models Inc., a spin-off of a spin-off was a spin-off too far… despite it starring Australia’s own Cameron Daddo.

12. At this point I should apologise as I only know the names of the actresses, not the actors. My chronological order of Melrose Place crushes goes: Josie Bissett; Courtney Thorne-Smith; Daphne Zuniga; Heather Locklear; Laura Leighton; back to Josie Bissett; back to Laura Leighton. Today, I’d probably settle on Courtney Thorne-Smith (on the proviso you overlook According to Jim and a recurring role in Two and a Half Men). Side note: Alyssa Milano doesn’t count, despite her recurring role as Dr. Michael Mancini’s sister, as she remains filed under Who’s The Boss.

13. It’s easy to forget just how huge Eddie Murphy was in the 80s. Huge. Grantland’s Bill Simmons breaks down Eddie Murphy’s career arc here. 48 Hours kicks off “Phase II: The Apex”.

14. When you’re 13-15 years old, you have your fair share of crushes… and then you have that one crush that just fks your shit right up. Kelly LeBrocka. Kelly LeBrock. Kelly LeBrock. 

 

a. I’m all for suspending belief at the cinema, but Gene Wilder with Kelly LeBrock in Woman in Red… COME ON!!?

 

 The Carnival to date: $200 outlay, $82 return, - $118 in the hole.

 

About The People's Elbow

I'm just trying to make a difference in people's lives - get off my sack.

Comments

  1. Naked golf caddies one week and Michelle Pfeiffer doing the cat crawl on the piano lid the next week. Pure gold. You have got me interested in racing again much more than Crio’s 15/1 winners. Memories are risk free.
    Rupert is offering you a motza as his Page Three editor in Oz?

  2. Nutsodeluxe says:

    Apparently there was something in there about movies, TV & even (allegedly) horseracing, but all I can think is Kelly LeBrock. Kelly LeBrock. Kelly LeBrock.

  3. I was blissfully unaware of the 80s and 90s. Friends of mine used to meet for Melrose Place evenings. I haven’t seen one ep. That sort of thing died fro me with the demise of The Box re-runs (10.30am each weekday during my second year at uni).

    I thought Ms Pfeiffer’s principal contribution to popular culture was that a successful afternoon with the agate (when the boys held their catches) could result in a Michelle.

  4. Jez Rawlins says:

    How could you not have mentioned Michelle Pfeiffer in Tequila Sunrise??? Wowee.

  5. PB: Am feeling good about Dear Demi at odds.

    JTH: Melrose Place evenings were great, but very much in the context of its time. It does not hold up at all well over the course of time… first time I’ve heard of getting a ‘Michelle’

  6. What that shows Litza is that we come from different sides of the popular culture tracks.

  7. JRaw… Massive oversight on my part, so very sorry.

  8. Hey, gotta given Andy McDowell ‘Groundhog Day’. She plays her role perfectly in the all time classic.

  9. Yes, Kelly LeBrock and Gene Wilder was a stretch,
    but she was married to Steven Seagal for 10 years.
    In real life.

  10. Give me the Jamie Lee Curtis scene in “Trading Places” any day.

  11. Dips, I see your Jamie Lee Curtis and raise you a Phoebe Cates in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”.

    Smokie, I can imagine the Steven Seagal relationship a difficult one to get out of without mutual consent.

  12. Phil Dimitriadis says:

    I might find your articles hysterically funny Litza, but I’ll be damned if I let you have a go at Ghost. You’re talking about the man I loved, P.Swayze and just for that I’m going to share this with you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU9p1WRfA9w
    It will help you take your mind off the Righteous Brothers.

    Jamie Lee, Kelly and Phoebe were good, but the girl who played ‘Sunshine’(Lela Rochon) in Harlem Nights smokes them all!

  13. Malcolm Ashwood says:

    Litza don’t follow the races but enjoy your preview and I must admit amazed that a man of your talents hasn’t heard of a Michelle, 5 , for

  14. Sorry, Phil, I stand by my claim that ‘Ghost’ is 127 minutes of awful, just as ‘She’s Like the Wind’ is four minutes of awful. Patrick Swayze would’ve been well advised to stick to the ‘Roadhouse’ genre of film (although my introduction to him was the made-for-TV Civil War drama ‘North & South’, which was great).

    My unawareness of a Michelle is causing me much embarrassment this afternoon…

  15. I’ll see your Kelly LeBrocks and Jamie Lee’s, and raise you a Sean Young in the back seat of the limo in ‘No Way Out”. Or as a doe eyed, heavily mascaraed replicant in Blade Runner.
    Be still my beating heart.

  16. …I’ll pay that.

  17. I am really starting to enjoy this thread…
    Peter B, it is slightly tragic what has become of Sean Young…she ritually gets thrown out of post-Oscars parties which she attempts to gate-crash, and has spent time in rehab.
    Still, you can’t take Bladerunner away from her…

  18. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says:

    Saturday 19th at Caulfield

    Polanski in Race 1
    Rockford (Files) in Race 1

    or for the Russ Meyer fans, Jiggle It in Race 9

  19. Fair go Smokie, young Sean has got a long way to go to catch up with some of us in the Self Destruction Stakes. I only started drinking in the hope of catching up with her in rehab.

  20. mickey randall says:

    Are we forgetting Sean Young’s performance in the seminal film noir classic, Ace Ventura Pet Detective?

  21. I’m disappointed you did not manage to fit Wonder Years into your piece.

  22. I didn’t forget – it’s one of the ‘hidden’ hyperlinks.

  23. Mickey, Ace Ventura, and Sean Young’s role in it, will never be forgotten.

  24. Rick Kane says:

    Phoebe Cates 1 vote, Sean Young (including Stripes) 2 votes and Michelle Pfeiffer 3 votes.

    But in the big league, Molly Ringwald, Kathleen Turner, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Rae Dawn Chong and my fave, Susan Sarandon. Just saying!

  25. Phil Dimitriadis says:

    Ooh Ricky. Kathleen Turner in ‘Crimes of Passion’. Bad movie, great err…performance.

  26. Luke Reynolds says:

    Michelle looked great in the Cat-Suit in ‘Batman Returns’. But what an awful movie with a terrible Catwoman origin story. It’s all about Anne Hathaway for me as the definitive Catwoman in ‘the Dark Knight Rises’. She was everything Catwoman/Selina Kyle should look like and be.

    Totally with you Litza on Josie Bisset as the standout on Melrose Place. But they were all handy. Liked Heather Lockyear back then and still now. Amazing how she has kept her looks!

  27. Kath Presdee says:

    I remember some Melrose Place nights with friends. Sad really. Young professionals in Canberra racing home to grab a quick bite then off to a friend’s place to ogle Jake (memory believes he was played by Grant Show) – who by the end of the series had bedded each of the female residents. And we can’t forget Billy, played by Elisabeth Shue’s brother Andrew, of the cute lisp and the tug of war between Heather Locklear and Courtney Thorne-Smith.

    And to buy in on the Swayze, it is not Ghost but Dirty Dancing for those of us of the Gen XX variety.

  28. Found the Wonder Years thread. Ahh, Winnie, while not that appropriate to discuss her on the current theme of the thread – what a nice young girl!

  29. John Butler says:

    Kath, very brave of you to present a female view in the midst of this sausage fest.

    Vote 1 M Pfeiffer

    Demi has always seemed like such a strange combination of try-hard attention seeker, trailer trash sensibility & career savvy . This mix probably reached its inevitable conclusion in the travesty that is Striptease.

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