“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth”–(Rev. 3:15-16)
It is not entirely inappropriate that the Book of Revelations that best sums up Carlton’s performance on Friday night. Insofar as the humpbacked wretch of the 2012 season goes, it is very much end of days.
This is something I’ve more or less predicted on this site over the past two months, but on watching the game against Hawthorn I couldn’t even work myself up into a rage-gasm.
This isn’t to say I didn’t feel let down. I did.
This is because Friday night was the first time I’ve been to a Carlton game with my brother since, well, the last time the Blues were seven different kinds of awful1.
To paraphrase Dickens it was the best of times and it also sucked a bag of dicks.
Honestly, I didn’t expect a great deal more than what I got, but mother of God, there is something fundamentally wrong with the Club.
So, let’s cut the shit, Carlton.
I could go line-by-line, here, but for for the sake of time, I will limit it to…
What in the name of Baal is going on with our forward line?
We are playing three ruckman2 and our leading marking target inside 50 is Eddie Betts.
In case you missed it, I’m going to type it again, this time more slowly.
We are playing three ruckman and our leading marking target inside 50 is Eddie Betts.
I’ve seen more than enough of John Barker’s work this year to convince me beyond any doubt that as a forward line coach, his stocks are on the lower side of worthless.
Why was everyone occupying Wall Street when Carlton’s forward line coach is on more than minimum wage?
Occupy Royal Parade!
Barker should do the honourable thing and find another job.
A random observation that has some relevance to all of this.
AFL players at media conferences are like Larry Emdur but without the depth, gravitas or clout. They simply stand their spot, pitch their lines and get the hell outta there.
Bryce Gibbs’s media conference this morning a case in point.
“We’ve played some OK footy3, but haven’t got a win. We need a win just to build a bit of confidence.”
“I have no doubt Brett will be here next year. He’s been fantastic. We’re working hard to turn it all around4.”
“Nah, my year hasn’t been as good as I would have liked. Hopefully I can get into the middle in the second half of the year.”
1. It should be noted here that two of our Essendon-supporting friends came along, simply to hear us spit invective at a predictably poor Carlton performance.
2.That should read three ineffectual ruckmen
3. If you could give me some examples from Friday night, that’d be great. And don’t mention anything from the last quarter – Hawthorn were just pissing on the corpse then.
4. Once again, if you could illustrate this with a Friday night example, it’d be most appreciated.