The Middle Australia Report

Middle Australia (The Editor and The Chairman) have been writing their Friday afternoon sports report for years and distributing it to their band of keen email followers. They are confident that they are ready for to bring it to the world. Here is the first instalment with its comment on cycling and cricket.

Temptation Island: Bali Ha’i

A funny thing happened after the film and before the match on Saturday night. This is the story of how one man (we’ll call him Neil) was tempted to switch from footy culture to Arts culture…while the footy season was still underway!  

The People’s Elbow XXII: … **** it!

This edition of the People’s Elbow contains Princes Park terrace language.
To paraphrase Socrates “By all means, follow a club. If you get a good club, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

Crio’s Q: “Deus Absconditus”

If you don’t mind, Umpire! As usual, the umps have copped a bashing this AFL season. The “deliberate” epidemic at Subi the other week generated another outburst of “worst ever” vitriol on talkback radio. We all seem to recognize a bad umpire….but what makes a good one? Last year, under the magnificent title “Deus Absconditus”, [Read more]

AFL Round 22: The Wrap

On Friday night The Grey Army was on the march once more, taking another step along the road to oblivion as they ran headlong into The Tiger, who just happened to be heading in the opposite direction.

Footy Poetry: Josh

Matt Zurbo is at a footy-watching, beer-drinking, rock’n’roll, Saturday night thirtieth.

AFL Round 22 – West Coast v Collingwood (Floreat Pica): Pies midfield needs to get hands dirty

By Rory Adams A visit to Subiaco is like a throw back to the old surburban grounds in Melbourne. Facilities are adequate as long as a quick beer or coffee is not needed as these amenities feel quite archaic compared to the MCG or the Docklands. Once seated however the ground has a much better [Read more]

AFL Round 22: St.Kilda v GWS Giants: Joining the Delusion….We can do this, too

I’ve been hanging around with the Geelong Cat boys too much.  Their mindset is beginning to rub off on me.  I was quite happy hanging in the Saints reality of seeing this year as essentially over and beginning to build up for next year.  But Flynny’s chant of “We can do this” has resonated via [Read more]

Local footy: Off on the Rabbito Express

Mrs Derrinalphil and I decided to make the big trip and go out to the Rupertswood game. The “trouble and strife” asked “how do we get there?” Not by the “Rabbito Express” unfortunately. Up until the late fifties a steam train would leave Spencer Street station very early on a Sunday morning and travel up [Read more]

AFL Round 22 – Richmond v Essendon: Even the Tigers are better than us!

I am at a loss trying to come to grips with the 2012 Essendon dieback. I watched most of the game against Richmond,  sometimes it got too bad for me and I stopped watching. Let’s not forget how much we love to thump the Tigers, and how much we love to laugh at them when [Read more]

AFL Round 22 – West Coast v Collingwood: Eagles 4 Denmark 0

WEST COAST EAGLES V COLLINGWOOD SUBIACO OVAL – 5.40pm WST – Saturday 25 August 2012 This is the third week of the very preliminary finals.  In an even season it is all about getting your best players fit and in form, while obtaining the best possible grid position for the start of the September Grand [Read more]

VWFL Grand Final: Darebin up the creek without a Premiership

      When I started working as a cadet journalist on the Knox-Sherbrooke News back in 1985, one of the first stories I wrote was about women’s footy. The VWFL was in its infancy and the Ferntree Gully Kangas were struggling to find their feet. The competition had a handful of teams and faced [Read more]

AFL Round 22 – Gold Coast v Carlton: The Coach doesn’t kick the ball!

I aged ten years tonight; ten years, truth-be-told, I cannot spare!

Eat up! Eat up! And play the game.

  It was one of those nights when a few middle-aged blokes get together to talk about old times in sport. John was a new fellow to join the group and everyone’s eyes lit up when he said ‘I saw Bradman bat once’.   John’s view of  Bradman was when the Indians played a Test [Read more]

AFL Round 19 – Hawthorn v Geelong: Oui are Geelong.

    I should have had a spring in my step as I strolled through the canal-enveloped streets of the Belgium hamlet of Brugge -the place they call the ‘Venice Of The North’. I had spent the previous fortnight savouring all the delights that a Mediterranean summer can offer. The Bride and I bounced the [Read more]

AFL Round 22 – Richmond v Essendon: Schadenfreude

The German term “schadenfreude” is beautifully efficient – a single word when in English we need seven (taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others). Richmond was hardly efficient last night but the ease with which the Bombers were brushed aside was breathtaking. And enjoyable.  As Essendon’s abortive 2012 campaign played out its last dismal rites, the schadenfreude flowed [Read more]

Sydney v Hawthorn preview: Boiling Point

In recent weeks I’ve become shyly aware that I’ve taken my eye off the footy. Haven’t talked about it much; haven’t reflected on it publicly; haven’t offered any excuses. Just slunk off into the shade really. But internally, I’ve been musing, struggling with the idea of how to whip myself up into some kind of [Read more]

Don’t take the mickey Mick

So I bet you are all wondering, why is Travis Cloke playing so badly? Well you can stop racking your brains and coming up with that list because Mick Malthouse thinks he knows the answer. Yes Travis has been double teamed in the past and yes last week the delivery to the big number 32 [Read more]

When the North Adelaide Roosters were kings

In this wonderful reminiscence of the era, Michael Sexton recalls the 1972 Champions of Australia series, when the North Adelaide Roosters improbably beat Carlton.

Jordan Childs chases first win at Tatura

Shane Goss travels to Tatura to watch New Zealand hoop Greg Childs’s son, Jordan, looking for his first win.