“Out” or “Not Out”

Hamlet latest soliloquy on being given out LBW when playing for Denmark v. XI of the Neighbouring States.

Hamlet: Am I out, Polonius?
Polonius (batting at the other end): I fear it, sire, the man said, Chuck
Her up.
Hamlet (retiring): Then I must go, yet ‘tis a monstrous thing
That all this great and momentous issue
Should hang upon one churlish umpire’s nod.
How now, my Lords! That ball had bias on it
And if my leg had been in front, as twas not
Would ne’er hit the sticks; no- not by yards
It did not pitch straight; it was rising high
Besides the man is bowling around the wicket.
Yea! I can summon up a million reasons
Which being pondered on, do clearly show
The verdict of yon purblind idiot false. Well well!
The things an allegory
How incident doth wait on carefulness
And all precautions used! I took one leg
I wisely questioned if my toes were clear
And all for this. Oh, the pity of it. I was firmly set
As any oak tree in yon sylvan glade: the ball
appeared
To me as large as the full harvest moon
That sails above the hay-stack.. I purposed
To make a hundred when that echoing yell
Both from the bowler and the wicket-keeper
(A pre-arrange duet of knavery)
Checked me in mid success, and cut me down.
What weak kneed umpire could resist that roar?
Give me my glass, I’ll take my grief with wine,
There’s not a doubt on it, I was bustled out.
This cricket is a passing beastly game!

Leave a Comment

*