Middle Australia Rule(s) Committee

North Melbourne small-forward Brent Harvey has been offered a four-match ban for two separate incidents: a three-match ban for striking West Coast’s Daniel Kerr and a one-match ban for striking Kerr’s teammate Adam Selwood in the Kangaroos’ season-ending loss in Perth yesterday.

Middle Australia Rule(s) committee.

Rule 1. Smacking an annoying opponent

There are players, who once nominated for their annoying/dickhead qualities, would attract no penalty to the perpetrator for a well-deserved smacking either in or off-play, because it has obviously been justified on the basis that they are dickheads. For example, Kerr, Ballantyne, or the Collingwood football club.

An addendum to Rule 1 (smacking an annoying opponent) was proffered by Mr Mark Batina and states, that further to Rule 1(Rule 1:1 smacking someone), some players by virtue of their deeds, good standing or top bloke status, should be exempt from penalty for hitting anyone because of their stature in the game. Or in Harvey’s case his lack of stature (physical).

Applying that rule: Harvey should get let off for hitting Selwood because he is an ornament to the game and has free reign to hit anyone. Secondly, as Kerr is an habitual dickhead, any hit should be deemed penalty free. Therefore, Harvey should be exempt for the hit on Kerr under Rule 1 and have free reign on Selwood under Rule 1:1 By our reckoning he is even.

The Editor

Comments

  1. Andrew Starkie says:

    Truer words never spoken.

    The BIg Unit should’ve got months for his cowardly act on McMahon. Tribunal is all over the place.

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