Round 1 – Footscray v Collingwood: Magpies win but Jack fudges up

by Dannie Eid

Ahh, finally I get to see my men in black and white show me their stuff as a possible foreshadowing of the rest of 2010, the year of Scott Pendlebury.

Big Bad Barry has the first shot on goal, turns out to be a shocker, pheww!

Daisy whacks the first goal of the match through, that’s how you do it Bazza!

FLY, SUPERMAN, FLY!! Jack takes a delicious grab, although I didn’t know it was going to be the only delicious grab of his game.

The delicious grab proceeds forward into the hands of Wellingham, GOAL!

Hahn sends his first in a quick reply.

O’Brien tackles, strong, hard like a monster sending the footy to Superman who gets his first to many woops and cheers on my behalf.

NO! NO, NOT HIGGINS, DON’T KNOCK HIM OUT HE’S IN MY SUPER COACH TEAM!!”

Davis and Hall both score respectfully as does cheer squad favorite Didak.

SWANNYYY bombs one through, another from Didak and then Medders scores which means more whooping “WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Dad changes the channel to watch the last few minutes of the North game. Gee those boys embarrassed me! I was asked who would win and I said North, then asked “Are u sure” and I said “yeah!” Well at least they came back a bit.

We flick back to the Collingwood game, someone’s scored…and I don’t know who, ahh FUDGE!

Then I get kicked out of the lounge room, away from the Panasonic Viera! How mean is that!!

Murphy puts one away and it becomes clear that it’s a battle of the goal scoring, it’s a shoot out and I wish so bad that I was there!

Steele Sidebottom shanks one, although he is looking very fine these days, not sure what happened but he was rocking those trackie dackies during the prank on The Bounce.

HIGGINS! YEAHHHH WOOT-WOOT….I mean ohh damn u Shaun!!

Pendles flys like a ballerina landing in a pirouette, while Cooney has a less graceful landing.

Hall kicks goal number three…MEDDERS!!! YEAHHH U TEDDY U!!

Wellingham goes down and doesn’t move…I cover my face with my hands, I can’t watch, I can’t see players in pain!

The players get into each other; Leigh Brown is testing Barry Hall.

Sharrod your courage makes me proud and Barry, I know it was an accident mate.

As for Jack Anthony

ARGGGHHH EFFING HELL, JACK STOPPING DROPPING YOUR EFFING MARKS MAN!!!

Lights, Camera, ACTION

Start of the third term and the game takes a turn.

It went from crisp and clean to…just messy.

REWIND to the clean flow boys, REWIND!!

Gia splits the middle, Ohhhh snap!

PENDELS!! YES!! THAT’S MY SUPERCOACH VICE CAPTAIN!

GOALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

(Sammy Mitchell is my captain; you should have seen my cheering for his every touch against the Dees!) lol

JACK!! AHHH (INSERT F-WORD HERE LIKE 3 TIMES) EFFING MARK THE EFFING BALL, (INSERT F-WORD 2 TIMES) LIKE SERIOUSLY (INSERT F-WORD ONCE)

AND LEIGH BROWN!! WHAT THE (INSTERT F-WORD ONCE) IS WITH THAT HANDBALL!! AAAAGRGHHHHHH EFIING HELLL!!!

Lake- Bang! GOAL

SWANNY BANG! BANG! TWO GOALS!

DIDAK!! SNAP- CRACKLE- POP!!

*SQUEALING*-  this means Jack SUPERMAN Anthony has  the ball.

WHAT THE EFFING?…AHHH FUDGE THIS!!

I guess he’s having a bad day, add the yelling lecture from Mick and it’s a VERY BAD DAY! Lucky he didn’t hear my yelling, he wouldn’t have thought I was cute.

Medders gets goal number FOUR! I’m so PROUD!!

The final frontier!

Hahn gets the first for the last.

Didak replies- BAM!

‘Come on my PRETTY MAGPIES, you can win this YOU’RE SO PRETTY!’

In response to my cooing Trav Cloke kicks one after a 50 from Minson.

Swanny chucks in a third- YEAH BABY

Minson makes up for the fifty with a goal for the Doggies.

Neon Leon sheds light through the goals..TWICE!

All throughout the game the boys have been throwing their bodies around, getting under packs, attacking like girls at a sale for high-heels!

Now that’s dedication, that’s a game of footy!

COLL- 129             WB- 93

I SMELL A PREMIERSHIP!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo

Comments

  1. Interesting report Danni, good to see you haven’t changed your style from last year.

    Yes it was a great win by Collingwood, and next weekend I can see them making short work of Melbourne. Jack Anthony will return to form in that match. And good on Paul Medhurst. I tipped him to retire before seasons end (don’t yell at me for that) and he done well to silence his critics yesterday.

  2. Steve Healy says:

    The Dees will win next week, strange things happen in footy.

    Don’t get too optimistic after one round young Danni, although it is the Collingwood way.

    Nice report Danni, you’ve captured the game well yet again

  3. Danni – I just love it when Pie supporters call the Premiership theirs after one round. It usually ends in tears.

    The disturbing thing about this year is you could be right. Horrible thought.

  4. If anything Danni, your style is more Danni-like. No-one’s style of writing is as unique and full of free, unsupressed emotion as yours. Maybe that’s something to do with the fact you’re the only teenage girl at the Almanac.

    If I was on the couch next to you, I’d wet myself laughing.

    Keep it up Danni.

  5. Steve Healy says:

    Don’t forget Susie, Adam, shes still 19

  6. I thought Susie was 20?

  7. Close enough anyway.

  8. Damian Watson says:

    Well done Danni,

    I liked that sentence about Shaun Higgins, you still managed to keep your faith.

    Are you heading to the match next week?

  9. Danni will hate me for this.

    Also, I think I can safely say that out of ALL the people in Supercoach who picked an entire team based on players’ looks, you’d be by far the most serious.

  10. http://www.afl.com.au/news/newsarticle/tabid/208/newsid/91266/default.aspx

    Funny how they didn’t use Ablett’s body for that picture..

  11. They’re not even in the comp and I hate them.

  12. Steve Healy says:

    If Ablett goes, they should fixture a round 1 Geelong V Gold Coast clash next year at the MCG, or even if he stays they should, it’d be the start of a great rivalry

  13. Damian Watson says:

    Although you have to take into account that the odds of the Gold coast recording an upset are extremely slim even with Ablett in the midfield.

    Would it be ideal to fixture a lowly team to face the Gold Coast in their opening match?

  14. Damian Watson says:

    Of course there is that trend with new clubs entering the competition commencing with a win, not that the fact indicates anything:

    Sydney def Melbourne

    Brisbane def North melbourne

    West Coast def Richmond

    Adelaide def Hawthorn etc

  15. Steve Healy says:

    Nah, I reckon they should get the best game possible when coming in to the competition

  16. I hated the Gold Coast before, but, oddly, I don’t hate them more now. I just pity them – their efforts are petty and laughable. I mock them. Kinda like the girls who photoshop their faces over Kristen Stewart’s in a pic of Bella and Edward.

    And I am still a teenager – for a meagre month or so. May 13 is the terrible day when I finally have to realise I’m a … *gulp* … grown-up :-(

    I’d love to see a Geelong-Gold Coast opening clash. If Nathan is still at the club then (let’s face it: absolutely nowhere near a guarantee) I bet he is “injured” or “ill”, so conveniently doesn’t have to come down.

    I reckon Mooney, Chappy, Hunt and Selwood would probably end up reported by the time the final siren sounds, and Linga and Bartel would be reported by the match review panel. It would SO be worth it :-D

  17. Josh Barnstable says:

    Selwood reported?? Haha that’ll be worth seeing.

    Geelong v Gold Coast on a Friday night to start Round 1 sounds like a great prospect.

  18. 17 – When Selwood gets ticked off, he gets ticked off bad. Just look at the 2009 Qualifying Final where he clotheslined Gilbee twice in 30 seconds. Vicious ;-p

  19. Danielle says:

    Thanks for the comments peoples!! :)

    1. Josh! HOW COULD U SAY THAT ABOUT MEDDERS!!! i admit he lost his touch last year but i didnt think he’d retire.
    Great guy too, embraced me straightaway when i asked for a photo! :)

    2. Steve, keep dreaming, im sorry but the PIES are HOT HOT HOT!! and your Dees…are NOT NOT NOT. LOL
    ‘young danni’ lmaoo umm im older than you!

    3. Dips, lol i know what u mean but any happiness i can bring to year 12 is worth it even if its saying that my boys will win the flag right after round one!
    :)

    4. Adam lol, yes i do write very…different! but aslong as its entertaining everyone im happy. :)
    and yes u would have ROFLED at my live performance of emotions throughout the game, to me theres no such thing as a poker face lol.

    8. Damo, yeah i know it was bad but atleast i remembered to get angry at him, even if it was kinda fake lol. :)

  20. Steve Healy says:

    sorry Danni, for some reason ‘young danni’ sounded cool

  21. Great report Danni, I like how you used delicious, marvellous effort that.

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