Keep The Rules The Way They Are

(An ode to Kevin Bartlett and the Rules Committee)

by Michael Viljoen

 

(Sung to the tune of Just the Way You Are – B. Joel)

 

 

Don’t go changing the rushed behind rule

We’ll try to keep the ball in play,  Mmm

Sometimes I fumble across the goal line

Disguised in my own precious way

 

Don’t wait as lab-coats wave their surrender

Kick it in and catch them off their guard,  Mmm

Place your hands gently between his numbers

But keep the rules the way they are

Don’t go trialing a new substitute rule

They’ve taken interchange too far,  Mmm

Taking possession from the ruck duel

Doesn’t do nobody harm

 

I don’t want clever interpretation

Call my advantage, I’ll say, “ta”,  Mmm

It’s in the spirit to let the game flow

So keep the rules the way they are

 

(Bridge)

How long for prior opportunity?

As if Kevin Bartlett even knew

Even as a player you changed the rules, KB

You couldn’t stop at one or two

 

 

Keep play in motion, that’s the agenda

Make changes plain, we’re not that smart,  Mmm

While on the subject, here’s my suggestion

Just keep the rules the way they are

 

I don’t want clever interpretation

Make changes plain, we’re not that smart,   Mmm

Last quarter comeback, throw away the whistle

But keep the rules the way they are

About Michael Viljoen

Michael immigrated to Australia as a boy in the late ’60s. His dad, having never seen a game of Australian Rules previously, stepped off the boat Thursday, found a job Friday, and Saturday was terrace side watching the VFL, Carlton v Geelong. He liked it so much he went back to the VFA on Sunday, Williamstown v Sunshine. Consequently, Michael was virtually raised at the MCG.

Comments

  1. John Mosig says:

    I liked it just the way it was too Michael. Now they want to make the game shorter. I’ll bet they don’t drop the prices, eh?

  2. Alovesupreme says:

    The paradox about the concern that quarters are lasting too long, is that one rarely sees a reference to the major reason – that the post-goal television break has been extended to 45 seconds (or longer). With a six goal quarter (to be conservative), there’s a minute and a half added to the elapsed time of each quarter, without any adjustment to the 20 minutes playing time per quarter.
    At matches, you can sense the crowd’s frustration as the umpire waits for the (delayed) signal, that the commercial has concluded, and the producer has been able to slip in a few seconds replay of the goal.

Leave a Comment

*