John Harms’ Celtic Dream


‘Twas Thursday night – the Match Committee,

Down Corio way – the windy city,

Chris said “its tough – this coaching lark”,

“No finals played on Kardinia Park”.


Need fresh ideas – a new game plan,

Not ‘forward press’ nor ‘man to man’,

Now Bomber’s gone to Windy Hill,

Need fresh ideas to fit the bill.


To supplement the best we’ve got,

We’ll try to find another Scott,

We’ve taken Chris and North’s got Brad,

Seems no more Scottsmen to be had.


Stayed up ‘til late on Friday night,

When Scottish talent came in sight,

We’ll sign him up – next Brownlow Medal,

No more cannon fodder – for Rafa Nadal.


And so arrived young man in hurry,

Cat’s new recruit was Andy Murray,

He’ll give the Pies his biggest serve,

When games get tight he’ll hold his nerve.


Now you might call this coaching folly,

With Murray’s serve to Varcoe’s volley,

It gives Cat fans the double chance,

If September rivals deck our pants.


Pre-season training’s plain to see,

Across the road from MCG,

The Scottish play’s our new face-saver,

January champs – on Rodney Laver.



  1. John Kingsmill says:

    There’s a discussion on footy poetry on a thread called Where to now, Adelaide at

    Come, visit. Either click on this link or copy/paste it into your browser. If it doesn’t go straight there, go to the Adelaide forum and look for the Where to now, Adelaide thread.

  2. John Kingsmill says:

    Update on the footy poetry discussion on the Adelaide board at Big Footy.

    Moderator Vader, deemed the thread “Where to Now, Adelaide?” to be too bizarre and too irrelevant in terms of the goals of the Adelaide Board and locked it.

    I negotiated with him politely and he agreed to unlock it.

    He’s shifted it to a lesser site on the Adelaide Board, The Backyard, where it now lives and continues to grow. Please visit. and read the whole thread. Don’t despair early – it gets more interesting towards the end. I don’t think you will be disappointed. And feel free to inch along this literary debate on BigFooty.

    You’ll find it at:

    If that fails, go the Adelaide site on Big Footy. then The Backyard subsite and look for the “Where to Now, Adelaide?” thread.

    All clicks are important in cultural wars..

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