NRL – It’s time Benny hollered for a marshall and sent young Anthony to the Sound
Archie’s highly-secret strategy to turn the Bronco’s season around by sending their star half to a glacial ground and employing a pack of llamas to put the spit and polish on his game and let hit talent abound
A few weeks ago when we were having a couple of slow news days up here in Queensland the sports pages of the Pineapple State papers were festooned with stories about Benji Marshall having a go at young Anthony Milford ‘Sound’ for being a slacker.
For days on end the punters of the pill-press in the state were up in arms about Benji bagging young Sound by calling him a bludger on the training track, and every bugger and their grandma chimed into the debate. Even God himself – aka Benny, or Wayne Bennett to you southern cockroaches – jumped into the argument head first, dourly declaring that if Mr Marshall wanted a future at the Broncos then he should shut his over-sized gob and keep his bloody opinions to himself.
To a man and his missus the members of the maroon army agreed, with opinion polls from Coooktown to Cooloongatta showing that Queenslanders thought Marshall was an out and out arsehole, and that Milford Sound was the man. Arms were linked across the Queen’s land, and from Southport to Sarina the chant of ‘Give Benji the Flick Benny!’ rang out, intoned by millions but sounding as if it was sung by a single voice.
And so, being the man of the people that he is, Benny did, and Benji was banished to the Queensland Cup, where he was made to dress up in a silly red and white jersey and run around a hacked up old field at a dump called Redcliffe, up the top of Moreton Bay where the convicts were first incarcerated in Queensland the the Bee Gees performed their first falsetto dance tunes, until mosquitoes drove both groups away, the jailbirds to Brisbane where they formed a footy club and named after a septic tank steed, and the Gibb brother on to fame, fortune and – with the exception of bearded Barry – early deaths in the world of disco, divas and discount drugs.