General Footy Writing: A life of a Pie

By Danielle Eid

I was recently asked by Paul Daffey why I barrack for Collingwood. So I was inspired to write up a piece on why I am one of those Collingwood supporters you love to hate.

When my Dad came to Australia he lived with his uncle (my Godfather) and together they started the Collingwood side of the family. Mum was born here and grew up in Carlton, which caused Mum’s side to be Carlton supporters.

I’ve been told that when I was a baby Mum’s side would try to get me to say “Carlton”, they didn’t succeed. Mum isn’t into footy; she can’t last one quarter without pointing out how dirty the MCG roof is and she’s probably the only person in the whole stadium flicking through a Woman’s Weekly magazine during the game.

I still remember what Mum said when I bought my jersey two years ago:
“You paid a hundred dollars for a Collingwood jersey? If it was a Carlton jersey that’s different but you could have bought a nice pair of heels instead.”

Me? I was happily parading around waiting to show Dad when he got home.

So basically I had two choices:

CARLTON or COLLINGWOOD but, obviously Mum’s side didn’t bribe me well enough to join the Carlton Crew.

As I grew up I was ALWAYS closest to my Dad. When family would ask, “Who do you love more?”, I would always say “Dad” (not that I don’t love my Mum!) I was always with my Dad and my younger brother was always with my Mum. By the age of five I was a real tomboy! First out to kick the footy in the front yard and able to recall each Collingwood player in numerical order.

Footy meant bonding time, just me and my Daddy! I still remember the time he bought me my Magpie flag, Dad had to carry it because it was taller than me!

Then there were the good old days when I never had to walk up or down the MCG stairs because Dad was there to give me a piggy-back. The last time I considered a piggy-back was when I didn’t chose sensible foot wear for the footy but luckily he had parked close by.

Nowadays the ride to the footy with Dad has my Collingwood scarf flying half out the window (tradition) and the radio on the SEN station as we talk about possible outcomes for the game. If anyone understands my dislike for Alan Toovey, it’s Dad. He agrees with me in that, “Toovey, he’s just like McGough, a real idiot!”

Honestly, there’s nothing better then the atmosphere of the footy and spending quality time with my Daddy!

Countless Collingwood games and many years later I grew up into the so-called “typical Collingwood supporter”: hating Carlton, complaining about umpires and everything except the things done by so called “feral” Collingwood supporters who I wouldn’t even defend. And just to set the record straight “Yes I have ALL my ORIGINAL teeth!”

I may be labeled “a feral Collingwood supporter” by some but I’ll tell you that I’m no where near feral. Don’t trust me? Fine, I’ll expand on that.

I consider myself to be a “classy” Collingwood supporter and this is why:

First, it takes me just as long to get ready for the footy as it would for a wedding.
An hour and a bit for hair straightening (my hair is REALLLYYYYY LONG!) And then half an hour for makeup. Yes, you heard me: makeup. Let’s just say that “tomboy” is no more! I always look my best going to the footy; you never know if a certain player (Nathan Brown) might look into the crowd, especially with my constant pronouncement: “I LOVE YOU NATHAN!!!” (This is why I always sit bottom level front row!)

So that’s two hours and a half and then the deliberation of what jeans to wear.
Because of my jersey the top half of my outfit is taken care of, leaving me changing my jeans about three times before I’m happy.

Second, I don’t have a foul mouth. I’m not big on swearing; the most I’ll say is “boofhead, jerk, idiot, bloody hell, damn you, get stuffed”. If it gets really bad, I’ll say, “eff this” or “eff that”, but my vocabulary does not include the full sworn F-word. I’m no Gordon Ramsey!

My parents raised me in a respectable way and if I ever do let a word slip it’s usually when I’m alone. So unlike the so called “ferals” my mind is not in the gutter.

Feral definition: gone wild, savage similar to a wild animal.

Yup! I’m so NOT FERAL!! If you disagree feel, free to comment; I’ve been on the school debating team for two years!

So why haven’t I changed teams in my teen years?

The answer is obvious. Collingwood is like my drug (OK, not a good example) What I mean is that I’m addicted to the Collingwood Football Club. I love the jersey; the players are good-looking; and they care about their supporters.

After attending the Collingwood-St Kilda game in round 7, with my friends for my 17th birthday, I sent an email to the club about how upset I was that my big day was ruined. Not only did we lose, we were ripped to shreds! I then received a reply, the exact words quoted:

I’ve spoken to the boys and they are very upset about this situation, Danni.
They’ve sworn an oath that your 18th birthday will be a much more happy occasion

Martin Boles

My reaction (I suggest you cover your ears.)

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGG OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHH.”

Silence

Do not uncover your ears.

“OMG … NATHAN BROWN IS UNDER OATH…FOR ME…and so is DALE and DIDAK AND SUPERMAN.

“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! … OMGGG …

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

It’s a good thing I was sitting down when I got the reply!

I was pretty close to emailing them and saying that the only way I would forgive them is if they let Nathan Brown take me to my formal in September! Still,  I was really happy to know that they players so care about their supporters. (For more reference on caring players such as Heath Shaw read my previous Footy Almanac entry: Shaw, the Slipping Swan)

So with all mentioned above you can see that it was simply my connection with Dad that drew me to Collingwood. You can also see that I’m not the feral’ Collingwood supporter that everyone assumes I am. As for the future, I highly doubt that I’ll change my team; as far as I’m concerned it’s “Good old Collingwood forever!”

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club’s very own PRINCESS!! :)
A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism.
Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph.
Not your typical ‘Robot Journalist’
Loves Alex Fasolo

Comments

  1. Good piece of writing, something I can relate to with North Melbourne. Just want your opinion: Who do you think is better? Didak or Daicos?

  2. danielle says:

    Thanks Josh.
    Umm that’s a hard question because they are so similar!
    But I’d have to say Didak because he’s got that ‘twinkle toes’ thing going on.
    Didak seems to be effective everywhere he plays and brings a real spark to the team.
    You can tell he’s on my GOODLIST!

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