Footy Dogs

We live in dangerous times.  Fukushima could implode sending tons of highly toxic nuclear waste into the Pacific Ocean.  Syria’s murderous civil wars could flow over its borders into a full-blown Middle East war.

Some ABC pinko wusses even think that the Jordanian abattoirs treat our lamb chops poorly before they Sam Kekovich them.

But we only need to look in our back yards (literally) to see the pending holocaust of animal cruelty.  Consider these mutts:

Gogs Chappy

“Chappy”is Peter Flynn’s dog.  I remember because when Flynny slept on our couch he kept Shandy the Wonder Dog awake all night with his snoring.  Shandy tried barking to get Flynny to wake up, but his pleas were drowned out by the Flynn snores.  The next morning Flynny told us that it had never bothered “Chappy” his loyal pooch at home.  But does that loyalty extend to buying a new red and black coat to keep out the Kyneton cold next season?

Dogs Bombers

Is this Chappy’s future?  No its “Lord Jim” who was the top dog out at Windy Hill for many years.  Those spoilsport dog catchers at AFL House (Australian Feline League) have ordered Lord Jim to spend the next 12 months in quarantine.  This is the ‘before’ shot from one of those ‘before and after’ pictures they have in the canine bodybuilder mags.  Apparently Lord Jim went from a Chihuahua to a Doberman in a season, and they ran out of wool to knit him a new jumper.  Andrew Else says the AFL were lacing Lord Jim’s meatybites with HGH (Hungry Greyhound Hormone), but we remain suspicious.

Dog Buddy

Rick Kane’s former pet “Buddy” was last seen wandering the nightclubs of Bondi saying “where’s my bitch?”  We understand that Buddy will not be going hungry any time soon.

Dogs Heath

Unlike Danni Eid’s former lapdog “Heath” who is now seeing looking for scraps in dustbins all across Western Sydney.  “Bad dog, Heath.  Bad dog.”  Danni tried everything to stop Heath chewing the furniture and crapping on the carpet.  But sometimes you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.  I am sure Danni will find more obedient pooches willing to sit on her lap during Pies games next season.

Dogs Woosha3Which sadly brings me to “Woosha” who was a faithful hound much loved across Western Australia for over 20 years.  Sadly he had become incontinent and unable to scratch himself.  He was humanely put down last month.

IMG_1332

“Shandy the Wonder Dog” and I have got a one year contract extension from the Avenging Eagle.  But she says she expects a much better performance on and off the field from both of us in 2014.

I know the photo is a bit revealing, but I still reckon he looks better than the Kim Kardashian shot in Litza’s post.  Well endowed isn’t he?  Must be genetic.

Personally I think its time there was a ban on naming dogs after footy players.  The RSPCA (Really Slow Pooches Careers Annulled) always thinks they can find new owners.  But I’m a one dog man.

Who wants to come home after another humiliating loss with nothing better to do than kick the dog?

 

Comments

  1. PB – you raise a very pertinent question here:

    PF – what is the name of your dog now that Chappy has gone to the hated Dons?

    George (Horlin Smith)?
    Jimmy?
    Johnno?
    Me Old Mucker?

  2. I like my dogs with dual names, and no name at Carlton really inspiring me vis-a-vis dog name… closest would be ‘Dog Duigan’ or ‘Josh Bootsma’ if I decided on a poodle.

    After the Red Sox win today, I think I’ll stick with my original choice ‘Dustin Pedroia”.

  3. Peter Flynn says:

    Cheers PB and Dips,

    Chappy is still Chappy.

  4. David Zampatti says:

    I’m suitably humiliated, Pete. A few weeks ago, my wife and son bounded happily through the door with a small brown thing they announced was henceforth to be called Mundy.
    It was, they enthused, going to live with us. In our home.
    A Tenterfield terrier/ Jack Russell/Chihuahua cross. Grows to 5-6kg. Mundy? What were they thinking???

    Surely Ballas. Or Hayden.

  5. DZ – if the dog is a Jack Russell then Ballas certainly fits for temperament. Don’t worry about the dog being called Mundey, you can tell people you named him after the day of the week you bought him, when he follows Ross to Carlton in 2 years time.

  6. Good luck to little ‘ol Buddy as he barks his way down the windy boulevards of Sin City. I hoe he isn’t dogged by cheap photo snapping puparazzi in his quest to be that decadent town’s top dog.

    Can I take this time to wish another Hawks hound, the plucky little Ellis, all the best in his new home? By the way, Xavier means, new home so maybe this little terrier will get the more chances to shine, to be best in show.

  7. Our dog is named Harley after Tom, my younger daughter’s favourite player at the time. This was 2000 so long before any Geelong success.

    She must have seen something in Tom at the time as he went on to be a wonderful Geelong player and great captain, and Harley has been the most super dog.

    My older daughter’s preference was Bizzell!!

    Sometimes it works out!

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