FLOREAT PICA Match Report: Round 20- Essendon v Collingwood

legend (le¦gend)



1 a traditional story

2 an extremely famous or notorious person, especially in a particular field:  the man was a living legend

3 an inscription, especially on a coin or medal

a caption:  Go ahead make my day

[predic.]   very well known:  his speed and ferocity in attack were legend

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And so it came to pass that Regina and Gayle upgraded their memberships to Legends and also found themselves writing their first match report.

Round 20, 2010, is against a traditional enemy in a downward spiral with a pilot who has never been at a successful club.  The legendary Pies, on the other hand, are flying, 6 points clear on top of the ladder, 3 matches before the finals.  Whilst we were hoping that last week’s correspondent had managed to get in a yoga session before Friday night’s game to ensure our victory, there was not the sense of desperation attached to such superstitions this week as last.  Nonetheless, a second victory over those dodgy Bombers this season was a tantalising prospect.

According to Wikipedia, “…spring in Australia is magpie season, when a small minority of breeding magpies (almost always males) around the country become aggressive and swoop and attack those who approach their nests, especially bike riders other footballers. This species is commonly fed by households revered by discerning supporters around the country and is the mascot of several the greatest and most famous Australian sporting teams team.”

Apparently, the collective noun for magpies is: a tidings of magpies.  (I also discovered this in my research for the match report!)

First Quarter:

Now that the preamble is done, we can settle into the match against Essendon.  Usually Friday night TV is a choice between a murder on the ABC or the footy on Channel 7.  Tonight, we tune in to be entertained by a serial killing at the MCG on Channel 7.  Yep, we footy hate Essendon as much as we footy hate the Bluebaggers.

We were disappointed that our new favourite, Luke Ball, was not playing – although he may never quite replace our beloved Nathan – but, it was going to be interesting to see whether Medhurst had learnt anything from his time in the 2s – no, he is not a favourite.  And Jarryd Blair was back in – he plays with such enthusiasm and ‘desperation-to-stay-in-the-team’, you just enjoy watching him!

Our start was not good – those wretched Bombers got the first goal of the match within the first 30 seconds, and Denis Commetti had mentioned that Zaharakis name at least 5 times!!!  Surely, we were not going to end up in dangerous territory so early in the match !  Essendon was looking just a bit good – in the first five minutes.  Thank God it didn’t last beyond that  – Travis posted his first goal from his first kick – sigh of relief – and Leigh Brown and Wellingham started to make their presence felt.  Our boys were beginning to get their act together !!

We took control – Pendles was in the centre and everywhere else, getting the ball out with his usual grace and skill, Leigh Brown played like a “power-forward”, according to Bruce, and kicked three goals, Medhurst actually did some good things, Maxwell seemed to be playing all over the ground like a man who believes, rightly, he could be a legend, Daisy laid a couple of great tackles, Swan did what he does, Harry O and company on the backline were all over the Essendon forwards, and we ended the quarter with a 32 point lead, and good kicking for goal.  The highlight of the quarter – which elicited a “Something A Bit Special” from Bruce – was young Jarryd Blair’s clever little intercept about midway through, grabbing the ball, running through a “gaggle” of Bombers, sending it straight to Daisy, who then goaled. A nice bit of play ended as it should have – and all was right with the world!!!

Second Quarter:

The Quarter time break saw Timmy interviewing the Premier about the 40th anniversary of compulsory seat belts – a great initiative and excellent to see The Dons adapting their guernsey for the match.

It isn’t long, before the Magpie machine gets into gear again with some beautiful passages of play:  Medders to Didak to Bennie who clears it to Chrissie Dawes.  Wellingham to Cloke who kicks his second for the night.  Lovely pass from Tarqs to Medders but he misses to the right.  A left foot pass from Johnson puts Jolly on a slight angle – GOAL!!  Suddenly, back from the centre, Blair to Didak to Swan to Cloke who kicks a Buddie-esque sausage roll.  We are really enjoying this!

Dawes shows his prowess by slinging Dempsey in a 360? arc to win the free and then kicks truly to make it 18 to 75 half way through the 2nd quarter.  Essendon hasn’t scored since quarter time.  Heater is solid in defence (as always) and Jolly is dominating.  Swan is his ubiquitous self.

[Suddenly, Timmy announces that a contest with Swan in the 1st quarter has ended Za-ha-ra-kis’ season.  What is it with the Bombers supporters these days?  If that bloke whose name starts with Z (the sound of which has the same effect on Pies fans as fingers nails scraping a blackboard) had won an Anzac Day match for the Pies, rather than agin us in the manner that he did, he would forever have cult status akin to TOOOOOOOVEY and be on the road to being a Legend.  Instead, the injured Bomber wearing No. 11 hunches on the bench almost unnoticed by Essendon fans – an early end to a season they would all rather forget.  Shameful !!]

Back to the game:  more superb passages of play by The Pies:  Beams to Wellie to Dawes to GOAL!! Just before Essendon gets a goal, it is 18 to 81 with 8 mins 10 secs to go – don’t you love the symmetry!!

Finally, after 18 handpasses, Watson kicks the ball – well done, Jobe!  That’s what it’s for!!

The quarter finishes with Swan, Pendles and Wellingham having been brilliant across the ground; Leroy and Cloke with 3 each and Dawes with 2.

Third Quarter:

Jobe Watson may as well have saved his breathe as he attempted to rev up his team at the centre bounce for the beginning of the third quarter because the die was already cast – the Bombers were “gorn”.  By the end of this quarter, we had kicked the highest third quarter score of any team this season, according to Dennis.  And whilst the Bombers had the occasional good passages of play, we dominated the quarter.  Pendles continued to impress – he is really developing that Hird-esque sense of where the ball is going to be – and makes almost every time he touches the ball count.  Beames and Sidebottom teamed up well to send the ball towards our forwards.  Harry O took off on a couple of those great runs of his, side-stepping opponents along the way with ungainly ease,  Daisy kept on chasing and tackling, Macaffer and Blair just chased everything and everyone, Trav notched up his fifth goal and the tidings of Magpies flew further and further away from the grounded Bombers.  Not only were we murdering them, we were burying them !! Joy !!

Last Quarter:

Actually, with the Maggies leading by 14 goals at the final turn, the Bombers were not just dead and buried – they were cremated …… TO A CRISP!!  And this was just the start of the last quarter!  What a cakewalk!

The last quarter saw Cloke still taking marks but kicking behinds rather than goals.  Blair did his bit, though, as did Macaffer and Didak.  Didak’s talent was again on display – but a couple of times his exuberance went beyond champagne shimmy and bordered on arrogance – gotta stop that.  Pendles played as though he has all the time and space in the world.  The Captain, Harry and Presti weren’t challenged on the night.  Heater also scored, denying Cloke a record (for him) of 6 goals in a match.  Presti saved a goal brilliantly and Daisy was still playing his heart out at the final siren. The ump was just too slow and Essendon clawed back a point to fall to an ignominious 98 point defeat.

Final score:  Essendon: 10  4  64  Collingwood: 24  18  162

Did we enjoy this ???  Yes, we did !!!!

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Tidings of the season to all Floreat Picans!!

Regina and Gayle

PS 1:  Unlike the day after Essendon beat the “Aints”, Matthew Knights was not sighted in Maling Road on Saturday morning!

PS 2:  The votes for the Horsburgh have been provided to Steve Fahey.

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