Confirmation from Canberra’s Crematorium

– for Kevin Rudd 24/6/2010


The king is dead! The king is dead!

confirms the crematorium,

audaciously the mutineers

defied the moratorium.


There’s laughter in the parliament;

there’s dancing in emporiums,

his deeds will be confined to pages

scribbled in scriptoriums.


A puppet-queen will praise his name

before an auditorium,

and lepers have descended on

the toppled king’s praetorium.



About Damian Balassone

Damian Balassone is a delusional Collingwood supporter who writes poetry and fiction.


  1. John Butler says:

    Will there be any verse for Julia in years to come DB?

    Or, for that matter, the Mad Monk?

  2. And so life dwindled
    Fell away,
    The naughty children
    Left to play.

    Where once were princes
    Gough and Ming,
    Was nothing but
    A muddied ring.

    The queen on top
    The ranga mum,
    Cut down to size
    By tory bum.

  3. Mulcaster says:

    Very good article in today’s by Bernard Keane and Paul Barry:

    Rudd helped create Abbott’s leadership. Instead of treating climate change as the great moral and economic challenge of our time, Rudd treated it as a weapon with which to wedge the Coalition. Eventually, he wedged them so hard they broke apart — only for Rudd himself to be blasted by the shrapnel. Abbott, having seen Rudd use climate change as a political weapon for two years, had no compunction in simply doing the same back to him.
    Abbott’s unrelenting aggression and his ex-journalist’s knack of being able to frame a simple narrative to serve his own purposes rattled Rudd — badly. He began making mistakes — and pleas from senior players such as John Faulkner to call a climate change-based double dissolution election in early 2010, which Rudd would have won handily, fell on deaf ears.

    Worth a read.

  4. DBalassone says:

    JB, I reckon the mad monk would be worthy of some verse, not sure about Julia though – too plain. Unlike the Ruddster who has almost become a chaplinesque figure. I had a crack at Costello too a few years back which was run by Australian Rationalist. Peter is another comical figure in a medium which is increasingly becoming a form of entertainment for mine.

    Mulcaster, I can’t disagree with the premise of that article. It’s been a fascinating turn of events in Canberra over the past few years.

  5. Jeez, DB – I think (hope) you meant to say something vaguely complimentary.
    Abbot and Ahbib are (unintentionally) ‘comic figures’.
    I sometimes attempt to be a ‘comic writer’ – but if I ever resemble them I’ll give up the game altogether.
    The key to comic writing is the ability to laugh at yourself and human folly.
    The key to comic figures and political ambition is the inability to do the same.

    I worked with a lot of the key figures in the Hawke government – Hayden, Walsh, Blewett, Button, Grimes, Dawkins. In private (and sometimes in public) they were great raconteurs.

    It is that worldliness that distinguishes the Hawke/Keating governments ability to understand,communicate and implement good public policy from the current rabble on both sides. They are not ‘dumb’ but they are ‘stupid’. Knowledge is useless without the ability to put it in a real world context, and explain it to ordinary people.

    To go back to a previous thread it is why Q&A is good with a political minority, and unwatchable with a majority. The deaf can’t talk to the blind. But a wise blind man is an excellent communicator. Good politicians are wise blind men (we all have imperfect knowledge and understanding). A wise blind man or woman has that humility.

    Loved your poem. Rhyming crematorium with praetorium is a great gift. Thanks.

  6. DBalassone says:

    Thanks Peter. Definitely meant comical in an unintentional way, though I do feel for Rudd – the man was elected to lead us for 3 years. The last thing we want to see is the Federal Government becoming like the previous NSW Government. (By the way, when I said Peter, I referring to Costello, just to clarify).

    Would love to hear more about your experiences in the Hawke era. A fascinating time.

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