The Wrap exposes player-agent speak, makes Hawthorn his Wrap Mortgage Buster, and previews Round 4. [The rain has not removed the sharpness of Wrap's critique - Ed]
The Wrap has his finger on the pulse. He’s on to Jellymont House, and he has a warning for those there who grind the sausage machine. People won’t hang around for expensive snags full of cereal powder.
The Wrap divines the false and true gold in AFL Round 2. His hands got a bit shakey late on Thursday night, but he still reckons the Tiges have found the mother lode. The Beckhams and the Hirds can’t decide who is being slandered.
If they don’t play footy in Heaven, John Mosig’s not going. Divine return from the hibernating columnist. [I love you Wrap. Many a good line in edition one means the pressure is on. Ed]
Peter Baulderstone is waiting to do his footy tips, but there is still no sign of Mr Wrap’s preview. Can this apology to Auden lure him out of the Wrap Cave (or the Waterside Hotel) in time for bounce down?
Who wins The Wrap’s seal of approval in Round 1 of The Finals? The Mayblooms, the Tealers or the Silvertails? It couldn’t be the Striped Marvels could it? Surely not. Take it away Wrapster.
Woosha’s resignation, Demetriou laughing at dwarf abuse, Buddy and the finals – where will the Wrap start?
The Wrapcave is alive with the sounds of Round 23 as he mournfully puts to bed the under-achievers, the old and weary, and honesty in football admin. He is looking forward to September, anointing the Mayblooms as TTTBFTF.
The riddle doing the rounds of the playground is; if Handy Andy, Shoeless Jim, the AFL & the EFC were in a plummeting plane and there was only one parachute, who would be saved?
The Hawks unveiled their Premiership model against The Maggies, who, while far from disgraced, were out gunned.
If the appointment of Hird and Thompson (never mind the somewhat unorthodox “fitness” regime) hasn’t stopped Essendon’s traditional season fadeout as September looms, where to next for the Bombers? The Wrap thinks this should probably be addressed at some stage.
The Wrap offers some sage advice to those in charge at Windy Hill (well, those still standing) as the AFL’s decision looms large.
While everyone involved in the Essendon drugs scandal start reaching for their lawyers, there’s also a round of footy to be played. The Wrap gives his predictions.
Have you ever thought about the profile of the Footy Fan? The Wrapster has. Take those Sleepy Hollow Faithful – please! (Boom Tish.)
AFL Round 19 – The Pre-Wrap: The Farewell Shoeless Jim Round (and the drawing up of our own drug code)
More musings from the Wrap-cave including some of the clearest analysis of recent happenings you will read.
The Wrap looks at the week that was and the weekend that is.
To Buddy or not to Buddy – that is the question, to some extent, bothering The Hawks. But could it be like The Tiges and RICHO? Their forward line functions better now without THE BIG FELLA than it did with him.
The Wrap notices, among other things, that the Case Scorpions, Melbourne’s VFL affiliate, is sharing top spot on the ladder. Sort of collapses The Demons’ argument for concessional draft picks a bit, wouldn’t you think?
The Wrap with a bit of pre-Wrapping in the lead-up to Round IX (as he likes to Romanise his numerals).