AFL: Alphabet Soup

Peter Baulderstone loves footy. But he’s confused by all the brands. He shares the AFL’s latest marketing plan. They are keen to receive more suggestions.

Big Macs of Footy

Peter Baulderstone joins the imaginary teams craze with his suggestions for the biggest Macs/Mc’s in footy. Suggestions and memories welcomed.

If Nick Kyrgios was a horse?

The most frustrating racehorses have stacks of ability but turn their head and refuse to chase when the whips are cracking. Peter Baulderstone wonders how Tommy Smith or George Hanlon would have handled Nick Kyrgios.

The Fall and Rise of the Richmond Empire

Peter Baulderstone has been in too many churches and museums across Spain and Portugal in the last month. The advance of the Tiger Empire reminds him of a Swords and Sandals Epic.

Tiger Art: Prophecy Fulfilled

Peter Baulderstone shares a piece of Tiger indigenous art that demonstrates the power of faith.

Finals Week 2 – GWS v West Coast: No Country for Old Men

Peter Baulderstone and the Avenging Eagle briefly disrupt lunch in the Douro Valley in Portugal to report on an unimportant football match that occurred in an empty stadium in “Greater” Western Sydney.

Finals Week 1 – Port Adelaide v West Coast: Boots of Spanish Leather

Peter Baulderstone and the Avenging Eagle celebrate the Eagles nail biting win from a little hacienda on the Spanish north coast.

Hail to the Chief

Peter Baulderstone has found some leaked tapes from the Oval Office. But he’s not sure which one.

Round 16 – West Coast v Port Adelaide: Dead Parrots

Peter Baulderstone thinks his Eagles recruiting has been diabolical and the team is the slowest in the AFL. He vents with a Monty Python “cruel but fair” take on the team’s consistent lack of second half run.

Blighty You Legend

Peter Baulderstone offers a personal tribute to Malcolm Blight the man; the footballer and newly inducted AFL (should that be Australian football?) Legend.

RIP John Clarke: The Dagg is Dead

Peter Baulderstone mourns the passing – and celebrates the work, wisdom and wit – of John Clarke.

PB’s Rant: Lawyers and TV – the lunatics are running (ruining?) my asylum

Peter Baulderstone fires both barrels at video decision making infecting golf, cricket, footy – and society by extension. Crap decisions over the weekend and three days off the grog and sugar can make a man cranky.

Round 1 – North Melbourne v West Coast: Josh Kennedy’s In Melbourne Tonight

Peter Baulderstone and the Avenging Eagle got their week in Melbourne off to a good start with their Eagles thumping the Kangaroos at Etihad on Sunday afternoon. Should PB be worried about AE’s new toy boy?

Almanac Music: Springsteen does Springsteen

Peter Baulderstone takes in a Bruce Springsteen concert in Perth last week. Another premiership winning performance or are the years catching up with The Boss?

Meetings with Remarkable Men

Peter Baulderstone imagines a meeting between Vic and the Don.

Baseball World Series Game 7: Real sport, Real consequences, Real men

Forget the pointless monotony of the “test” cricket (D Minuses all round). Today’s sporting highlight is the deciding Game 7 of the Baseball World Series between the biggest underachievers in the sport’s history – the Chicago Cubs and Cleveland Indians starting at 11am today (Eastern Summer Time). Think Western Bulldogs v Leicester City. Peter Baulderstone suggests an introductory read of the New Yorker’s profile of their outstanding managers Joe Maddon and Terry Francona. Think Claudio Ranieri and Luke Beveridge. Go Cubs.

Grand Final 2016 – Sydney v Western Bulldogs: We’ll All Be ‘Rooned

An epic Footy Almanac Grand Final Lunch topped only by an epic Grand Final. Can the Bulldogs drop their hangdog persona? Peter Baulderstone adapts classic Australian verse (apologies to John O’Brien) to record the events of recent days.

Finals Week 1 – West Coast v Western Bulldogs: Outcoached, Outsmarted and Outplayed

Peter Baulderstone reviews his Eagles being outsmarted and outworked by the Bulldogs on Thursday night, and how the season has gone for Adam Simpson’s underachievers.

Round 22 – West Coast v Hawthorn: Bury My Heart at Wounded Knees

Peter Baulderstone and his Eagles experienced their 15 minutes of fame on Friday night before Nic Naitanui ruptured his ACL. He was expecting 5 more weeks like that.

Round 21 – GWS v West Coast: Love Letter to an Old Flame

Peter Baulderstone writes an apologetic love letter to his West Coast Eagles. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.