Round 17 – Carlton v Hawthorn: Friday Night and the End of Optimism

The People’s Elbow celebrates Carlton’s “Back to the 90’s” promotion, unaware that the club had actually left that decade.

Round 12 – Carlton v Port Adelaide: Patrick Cripps — Just Build the @*!ing Statue Now

The Peoples Elbow is still waiting for a statue of Patrick Cripps and he’s getting impatient.

On Judd: A Promise Fulfilled, Another Not Delivered

The People’s Elbow and his own take on Chis Judd’s time at the Carlton Football Club.

Excerpts from the Big “Bump Free” Bumper Carlton Activity Funbook

Kids are leaving the Carlton Football Club in droves… this might help get them back.

Round 6 – Carlton v Brisbane: This Way Out

…the roof is about to fall in.

The Incompetence of Carlton | Part XVII – Like Shooting Tuna in a Teacup

Our Carlton Correspondent files drunk from a hotel room in Cairns…

Notes on a rebuild: And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like… “Centre for List Management Excellence”

So Carlton has established a “Centre for List Management Excellence”. That should please The People’s Elbow, right…?

Round 2 – West Coast v Carlton: Text from the two-minute video announcing the candidacy of the People’s Elbow for the 2016 Carlton Presidency

Ending two years of speculation and coy denials, The People’s Elbow announced on Sunday that he would seek the presidency of the Carlton Football Club.

Round 1 – Carlton v Richmond: Blue Betty

The story behind Captain Carlton and his hovercraft, Blue Betty. One of those rare stories that transcends sport itself.

Carlton Membership Update |We’re not dead, we’re in a coma… and we’re really happy with the way this is shaping up.

The People’s Elbow emerges from his oxygen coffin, to provide some gratuitous advice to the new Carlton CEO…

“Pahk the cah in the Havahd Yahd”: A Thinking Man’s Guide to the New England Patriots ahead of Super Bowl XLIX

The People’s Elbow presents a thinking man’s guide to the one team he follows in professional sport that is vaguely competitive…

Tennis, Trigonometry, Tornadoes — A David Foster Wallace Primer on Tennis

In the lead-in to the Australian Open, the People’s Elbow presents a primer on the tennis writing of David Foster Wallace.

Your Presumptive 2015 AFL Fixture

The People’s Elbow’s guide to the 2015 fixture. Just what did Jack Watts do to upset Heritier Lumumba…?

The People’s Elbow’s Guide to Carlton’s Trade Period: Part Two — The Liam Jonaissance

Part 2 of the People’s Elbow’s Trade Period Review… where cult-figure-status hair beats a dubious highlight reel every day of the week.

The People’s Elbow’s Guide to Carlton’s Trade Period: Part One — The Outs (aka Mick “The Blue Butcher” Malthouse)

In Part I of his review of Carlton’s off-season, the People’s Elbow looks at those who have emptied their lockers at Princes Park.

The People’s Elbow — The 2014 Post-mortem: Screwing a Wrinkle in the Hide

The People’s Elbow is joined by Tony Moclair to conduct a post-mortem on Carlton’s season and give a diagnosis for 2015. Includes an unearthed gem that demonstrates Carlton was 20 years ahead of Port Adelaide.

My rejected submission to the Herald Sun on “14 ways to know you’re a true Carlton supporter”

The People’s Elbow presents his rejected submission to the Herald Sun on “14 ways to know you’re a true Carlton supporter”.

The People’s Elbow: Shake It Off — Mick Malthouse Doesn’t Care What You Think

The People’s Elbow thinks “Grumpy Old Mick” is a tired trope and a lazy stereotype. Just like Taylor Swift’s transformation to pop star, Mick doesn’t need to change a thing if he’s to transform Carlton’s list.

The last woollen football jumper

The thought of his last football jumper hurts like a purple bruise.

Some Unsolicited Advice to the Essendon Football Club: Shut Up!

The People’s Elbow offers some strong advice (and STRONG LANGUAGE) to the Essendon Football Club and its PR advisers. Why are you so outraged by allegedly inappropriate “process” when you negligently put young men’s health at risk?