Carlton Membership Update |We’re not dead, we’re in a coma… and we’re really happy with the way this is shaping up.

The People’s Elbow emerges from his oxygen coffin, to provide some gratuitous advice to the new Carlton CEO…

“Pahk the cah in the Havahd Yahd”: A Thinking Man’s Guide to the New England Patriots ahead of Super Bowl XLIX

The People’s Elbow presents a thinking man’s guide to the one team he follows in professional sport that is vaguely competitive…

Tennis, Trigonometry, Tornadoes — A David Foster Wallace Primer on Tennis

In the lead-in to the Australian Open, the People’s Elbow presents a primer on the tennis writing of David Foster Wallace.

Your Presumptive 2015 AFL Fixture

The People’s Elbow’s guide to the 2015 fixture. Just what did Jack Watts do to upset Heritier Lumumba…?

The People’s Elbow’s Guide to Carlton’s Trade Period: Part Two — The Liam Jonaissance

Part 2 of the People’s Elbow’s Trade Period Review… where cult-figure-status hair beats a dubious highlight reel every day of the week.

The People’s Elbow’s Guide to Carlton’s Trade Period: Part One — The Outs (aka Mick “The Blue Butcher” Malthouse)

In Part I of his review of Carlton’s off-season, the People’s Elbow looks at those who have emptied their lockers at Princes Park.

The People’s Elbow — The 2014 Post-mortem: Screwing a Wrinkle in the Hide

The People’s Elbow is joined by Tony Moclair to conduct a post-mortem on Carlton’s season and give a diagnosis for 2015. Includes an unearthed gem that demonstrates Carlton was 20 years ahead of Port Adelaide.

My rejected submission to the Herald Sun on “14 ways to know you’re a true Carlton supporter”

The People’s Elbow presents his rejected submission to the Herald Sun on “14 ways to know you’re a true Carlton supporter”.

The People’s Elbow: Shake It Off — Mick Malthouse Doesn’t Care What You Think

The People’s Elbow thinks “Grumpy Old Mick” is a tired trope and a lazy stereotype. Just like Taylor Swift’s transformation to pop star, Mick doesn’t need to change a thing if he’s to transform Carlton’s list.

The last woollen football jumper

The thought of his last football jumper hurts like a purple bruise.

Some Unsolicited Advice to the Essendon Football Club: Shut Up!

The People’s Elbow offers some strong advice (and STRONG LANGUAGE) to the Essendon Football Club and its PR advisers. Why are you so outraged by allegedly inappropriate “process” when you negligently put young men’s health at risk?

AFL Round 15 – Collingwood v Carlton: I Turned Up – Fear? No, Just Loathing on a Sunday Night at the MCG

The People’s Elbow was part of the ‘crowd’ at the MCG on Sunday night. He is searching for explanations of why he turned up. [INCLUDES STRONG LANGUAGE]

Herald Sun journalist Jon Ralph is a given, but which are the other ripper blokes you would want to have a beer with: A work of unashamed worship

When it comes to men of letters, Litza knows he is but a minnow when compared to Jon Ralph. But that does not mean he cannot also come up with a list of ripper blokes he’d love to have a beer with.

Statement from The People’s Elbow on the re-signing of Bryce Gibbs.

A statement from The People’s Elbow.

AFL Round 14 — GWS v Carlton: The People’s Elbow… I’m just dialing this one in

GWS have defeated Carlton. Words have defeated Litza. But the People’s Elbow still comes up with some acronyms to express his disgust.

Carlton’s 150th Celebration: “Ease his pain… ease his pain” — The People’s Elbow on the redemptive power of the Blues’ Field of Dreams

Craig Little catalogues Carlton Football Club’s celebration of its 150th anniversary. The pissoir “Field of Streams” Best XVIII is a unique concept.

Has anyone heard from Stephen Dank?

This is an extract from Litza’s foreword in The Footy Almanac 2013. [Great to have The People’s Elbow flying in this year’s Almanac – ed]

AFL Round 12 — Geelong v Carlton: The People’s Elbow Puzzle Page

The People’s Elbow: fast becoming a master at recording Carlton disappointments. Here is a genre you will never have seen before. [Promise – Ed]

The Pre-Season Elbow: A Look at Carlton’s List for 2014 (Part I)

Litza has something of a rule – he’ll only emotionally invest in five players on Carlton’s list. Sometimes, it’s about the courage. Sometimes, it’s about the hair. And sometimes, he just has to let them go.

AFL Round 11 – Brisbane v Carlton: The People’s Elbow — Time to Pull the Plug

Litza finally consigns Carlton’s 2014 season to the dustbin of history. He is now free to concentrate on the bright side of rejuvenating the team; the club and ……..(hoping that your neighbour gets shafted).