Arma’s Club Corner – Edition 2

by Arma Nasco

Adelaide: Could Lleyton Hewitt be behind the Crows’ latest interesting initiative, “The Tribe”? Apparently there will be 60 specially recruited Crows fans to become a part of The Tribe; their charter being to make noise. Sound a bit like The Fanatics? C’mon (everyone please point to your forehead now) !!!! OK, let’s have it a bit louder this time please. C’mon !!!

Brisbane: In announcing that Brendan Fevola was ready to play AFL footy again, his manager Alastair Lynch said that prior to his treatment Fev had “hit rock bottom”. Not sure if there is a place lower than rock bottom, but his sacking has probably taken him there.

Carlton: President Stephen Kernahan was pretty emphatic about the path that his club is set on, ”We will play in finals, we want to win a final,” he sang enthusiastically to the tune of “Stand By Your Man”.

Collingwood: AFL players, especially those in black and white, went into a twitter frenzy after the Peter Costello article on sportspeople as role-models. Harry-O’s tweet,  “Faith means living with uncertainty – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark”, had more than a hint of Guru Bob about it ……. “When two men go up for the mark, only one can find true happiness.”

Essendon: Full marks to the Bombers for being the only AFL club to stand-alone from the AFL in terms of their web offerings. This was seen as a way for Essendon to be in control of its own content and online brand. Perhaps less than full marks should be awarded to Essendon for now dropping this approach and joining the other Telstra run AFL sites. Unhappy fans blame Matthew Knights for this decision.

Fremantle: Appears to be over-burdened with beards. OK, it’s been a slow week in Freo.

Geelong: Joel Selwood is set to prove Peter Costello wrong by holding a record number of school footy clinics this year. In return, Grade 5 students will teach him how to spell and use apostrophes. (I know that it was only a “tweet”, but OMG, WTF I was LMAO:))

Gold Coast: Southport Sharks Club were set to host an event to enable all Suns members to watch their NAB Cup games live. Just show your 2011 GC Suns membership card for entry was the instruction. This could restrict the numbers attending the event as the membership packs were yet to be mailed out to paid up members!

Hawthorn: Jeff Kennett suggested that he was “quietly excited” by some of the individual and the team efforts witnessed in Hawthorn’s NAB Cup opener. Hard to imagine Jeff doing anything quietly really, let alone being excited.

Melbourne: In an apparent tribute to Gerard Healy, the Demons adopted a half Melbourne / half Sydney jumper for the preseason competition. Whilst New Balance are blaming a “manufacturing error” for the red being a bit too pink, you could wonder who the jumper designers are blaming?

North Melbourne: James Brayshaw held a 15 minute press conference to announce the naming rights for the Arden Street ground and address issues regarding the upcoming North Melbourne Board elections. Brayshaw should be congratulated for making it through the 15 minutes without reference to anybody as being a “superstar”. No fear of him tagging the big unit Peter de Rauch a superstar any time soon.

Port Adelaide: Roy Glossop of the Carinya aged care facility in Clare thanked Power’s coaching staff and players that recently took time out to visit. He said that the residents, staff and volunteers enjoyed the day immensely and that Chad Cornes had settled in well.

Richmond: Fighting Fund Update: Yes, that’s right. For this week only the Tiger Den Online Store is offering 15% off all footballs. Incredible savings whilst stock last.

Sydney: Recently unveiled its membership package featuring Lewis Jetta front and centre. He is certainly an exciting prospect. Having said that, he did kick 19 consecutive behinds prior to registering his first major. May have been a little more prudent for the Swans to wait until he’s made a significant impact before making him the pinup boy.

StKilda: Reports are that training is going very well down there at the Linen House Centre – an aptly named venue for airing dirty laundry.

West Coast: Could be accused of getting a little ahead of themselves when they invited fans to “relive the magic and wonder of tonight’s derby victory” by reading the website match report. Magic and wonder? Oh dear, this is a NAB Cup game we’re talking about, isn’t it?

Western Bulldogs: All clubs seemed to be very focused on new member acquisition at the moment. Western Bulldogs have just launched their “Dog Catcher” campaign to “get more dogs in the kennel”. Fair enough – sounds pretty good. But a quick look at Definition 1 in the web-based Urban Dictionary for “dog catcher” puts another slant on their campaign. Go on. Check it out. You know you want to.

GWS: Sheedy watch: After reported interested in Scott Pendlebury, Dale Thomas and Dane Swan, Sheedy has lowered his sights a little with talk of the prospect of luring former Melbourne captain James McDonald out of retirement. No interest in Warwick Capper reported as yet. In other breaking news, GWS announced that one lucky member will get to play in the half-time celebrity match alongside Stephen Silvagni. Competition entrants have been warned that it is unlikely that they will get a kick whilst he is scragging their jumper.

That is all

Arma

About Arma

Much-maligned footy banterer

Comments

  1. Another solid weekly report – dare I say Arma plated.

  2. John Butler says:

    Arma, this puts sooo much into perspective really. :)

    And yes, I checked out Urban Dictionary. Quite a resource.

  3. #1. Phantom, have you got enough puns stored away for a full season of Club Corners?

  4. #3 Gigs, I’m not sure whether Phanto’s puns are an attempt to inspire future editions of “Arma’s Club Corner” or whether they are more of a ….. “I’m gonna keep this up until you stop” sort of arrangement.

    And Phanto, there is no truth in the rumour that this column is set to announce a major sponsorship deal with Armaguard.

    #2 JB, well done on checking out the Urban Dictionary, but did you also do the pointing to the forehead when you yelled out “C’mon!” to your computer screen?

    That is all
    Arma

  5. Arma, You are in danger of being hired as a gag writer. The Port line is vintage. Traces of all the greats in that noe. Expect a call from Gordon St very soon.

  6. Agree with JTH, Arma. The “Jeff Kennett” line had me chuckling into my corn flakes.

  7. Arma,

    I am inspired by your work. Keep it going. Through my own idiosyncratic method Armatempting to pay hommage.

    JTH. Vintage Port. Thats not the 80 yo one from the Murrindindi family barrel is it? Nice drop.

  8. #3,

    should be right Gigs. I’ve got more puns than a Kiwi seamstress.

  9. Great to see Arma’s earlier insights into the club challenges of 2011. Look forward to future editions on how Arma builds the drama and opportunities for each club in 2011. Neil

Leave a Comment

*