Andrew Gigacz’s Round 4 Stat. Declaration

St Kilda dominated the stupid stats in this round.

In a tribute to 100-gamer Sam Fisher, the Saints went postal. Their goal sequence across the four quarters was 5, 3, 4, 5. And of course we all know that 5345 is the postcode of Fisher in South Australia. Not only that, Fisher just happens to be a couple of hours down the road from Barmera, Sam Fisher’s home town.


St Kilda’s strangulation of the Dockers left them sitting clearly at the top of the ladder with a percentage of 200.44. This is the first time since 1991 (and only the fourth time in 100 years) that a team has had a percentage of 200 or more as late as Round 4.


The Dockers’ paltry final score of 4.4 (28) means that the Saints at least have someone with whom to share the record of the lowest score at Idiot Stadium. (The Saints scored 3.10 (28) there against Collingwood in 2002.)


Such was the meticulous planning of Ross Lyon and his team, the Saints decided to make their first and third quarters identical. The score in both those quarters was 5.3 to 0.1.


Not wanting to miss out on the “identi-quarter” action, Sydney and Carlton played out mirror image first and third quarters, with the Blues kicking 3.5 to 3.0 in the first term and the Swans reciprocating in the third.


The far-reaching influence of the Stat Declaration was in evidence in Brisbane on Friday night. Mick Malthouse, stung by this column’s criticism of the Magpies being “out-bearded” by Geelong last week (see Round 3 Stat Dec, below), rushed a goatee-bearded Anthony Rocca back into the side. Rocca’s influence in football terms was minimal, but his beard, along with Harry O’Brien’s, proved to be enough to overcome those of Brisbane’s Merrett and Johnstone.


Melbourne broke their 2009 duck in their eight-point defeat of the Tigers and made it a hat-trick for 2009’s “glamour score” of 100. The only score between 65 and 130 not to be registered in 2008, 100 has now been clocked up three weeks in a row, by the Lions (twice) and now the Dees.


On Saturday night at Footy Park, the Crows kicked eight behinds, the Cats kicked eight behinds and Gary Ablett had 8 million possessions as Geelong beat Adelaide by eight goals.


Chance Bateman’s 33-possession game for the Hawks was all for nought

As Hawthorn was caught


Against Port

Leaving fans distraught

The coach fraught

And his brains trust deep in thought


The Kangaroos and Essendon went head-to-head in the battle for “Zed-cred”, with North’s Ziebell shading the Bombers’ Zaharakis, 22 touches to 20, helping the Roos get home by two goals.


There was an upset in the true “Western” derby, as the Western Bulldogs went down to what some might say is the only real footy team from Western Australia by 33 points.



This race has been busted wide open with margins of 4, 8, 15, 17, 33, 38 and 83 points all having been registered twice over the four rounds. For the first time since 1990, we have had no games with a margin of three points or less in the first four rounds. (And let’s not talk about who won the flag that year … )



It’s generally a losing score but right now 67 has that winning feeling, having been scored four times in four rounds. Snapping at its heels, having registered three times for the season, are 100, 90, 86 and the perennially popular 69.




You could find a good omen for Saints fans just about anywhere right now, but it’s worth noting that in the year the won their only flag, 1966, they opened up the season with four wins, including a seventeen-goal-to-four-goal slaughter, as was their victory against Freo this week. And they had a percentage of about 200 after Round 4 of that season.




As the dark clouds gather on the horizon for Terry Wallace, he can take some solace from the fact that the performance of his Tigers against Melbourne, labelled variously as skill-free, clueless and embarrassing, actually lifted Richmond off the bottom of the ladder!



He was missing for most of last year but the man they call “Presti” is back and looking better than ever. After Brisbane’s Jonathan Brown threatened to single-handedly demolish the Pies on Friday night, Simon Prestigiacomo held Brown goal-less for the rest of the match. With his efforts leaving his teammates and Pie fans in raptures, it comes as no surprise that his name is an anagram for PIES’ ORGASMIC MOTION.


Over his ten-year career, Presti has at times polarised Collingwood fans, with some believing he lacks the skill to be a top-line player and others lauding his work ethic and defensive skills. The debate continues, but perhaps a clue to the mentality of those in the pro-Presti camp can also be found in the letters of his name: PIE IS MAGIC TO MORONS…


(Disclaimer – the opinion of the above random arrangement of letters is not necessarily that of this author or anyone else at the Footy Almanac who doesn’t barrack for Collingwood. Personally, I like Presti. No really, I do. Come on mate, let’s just calm down. How ‘bout you put that crowbar down and I’ll buy you a VB … )


About Andrew Gigacz

Well, here we are. The Bulldogs have won a flag. What do I do now?

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